Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76969 Haiku later...

Thought twat fought brought snot.
Bring sling string my ding-a-ling.
12(-299.6)-0-3(24.4)=-3668.4 kJ
Spontaneous humpabillity factor.
K-Tel Hits of the 70s!
Haiku # 70489, April 20, 2021 4:28 pm ET
by You bought it!
The fart molecules
caught in your toothbrush moustache
Gesundheit, assholes!
Haiku # 70486, April 20, 2021 10:37 am ET
by Rug Doctor of Carpet Chewers Anonymous
Misdiagnosis
It wasn’t sleep apnea
Just dick in the mouth
Haiku # 70485, April 20, 2021 8:19 am ET
by Insomniac of One eye open
This "place" feels awkward.
I wish I never found it.
Each time my soul's raped.
Haiku # 70484, April 20, 2021 7:03 am ET
by 8 yo boy signs up for nambla of At least he gets candy.
Cast iron cooking
Pa's astounding morning wood
Prairie Memories
Haiku # 70483, April 19, 2021 11:31 pm ET
by Prairie Dawg of Awaiting bone
Jeff Epstein's Mother
wouldn't have written a note
No excuses, Perv!
Haiku # 70482, April 19, 2021 11:26 pm ET
by Penis Mandoline of Hell's Kitchen
The testicle twins
Christened Gnip and Gnop
Pocket ping pong champs
Haiku # 70481, April 19, 2021 11:19 pm ET
by Balls of To the Walls
I don't have any
Heard tell of a vagina
that was named Boss Hog
Haiku # 70480, April 19, 2021 11:16 pm ET
by Your TV Guide of Couch
Welcome Back Kotter
Little House on the Prairie
The Bob Newhart Show
Haiku # 70479, April 19, 2021 10:14 pm ET
by TV for the dying
Should one name their balls?
Lots of options to choose from
Donny and Marie?
Haiku # 70478, April 19, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by Professor Plum
Jojo you are off.
It's five-seven-five or walk.
We aint play around.
Haiku # 70477, April 19, 2021 6:00 pm ET
by Tyrone of Tha Haiku Streetz
Death arrives
And Death leaves,
With an audible silence.
Haiku # 70476, April 19, 2021 5:34 pm ET
by jojo
Opened up this can
Of worms and wiggly snakes
Please pee on my breasts
Haiku # 70475, April 19, 2021 4:19 pm ET
by Sethe of Golden Shower Land
My white-ass mother
Placed me on her little knee
Big Black Penises
Haiku # 70474, April 19, 2021 4:17 pm ET
by Sleitch of hchx
Wrong won! Bang big gong!
White wong-ring bang fat hung gong.
Right wing wrong gang win!
Haiku # 70472, April 19, 2021 3:31 pm ET
by Chinee Dr. Seuss of Twing-touster
Wing holding left wang.
Wright holding wrong wong (white ring)
Wrong white-wing ring gong!
Haiku # 70471, April 19, 2021 3:20 pm ET
by Gong Li of Chinese Fire-drill
Gum holding wing on
Just the Wright amount of wrong
2 brothers get high
Haiku # 70470, April 19, 2021 11:09 am ET
by OG Cheech and Chong of High AF up in Smoke
Wright brother's first flight
Nineteen of three. First mars flight
Twenty twenty one
Haiku # 70469, April 19, 2021 9:34 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ingenuity
historic first flight on Mars
Lifting my spirits too
Haiku # 70468, April 19, 2021 9:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Wait...that old hippie
Were you looking in mirror
when you wrote that one?
Haiku # 70467, April 18, 2021 10:12 pm ET
by R. Your Balls of Named Cheech and Chong?
Wait...that old hippie
We’re you looking in mirror
when you wrote that one?
Haiku # 70466, April 18, 2021 10:12 pm ET
by R. Your Balls of Named Cheech and Chong?
Darth, you sexy thing
I bet you could fly the plane
with your genitals
Haiku # 70465, April 18, 2021 10:08 pm ET
by Aviatrix of Headed for the cockpit
Let's go for pizza.
Sao Paulo is amazing.
So my jet or yours?
Haiku # 70464, April 18, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Old Italian grandma immigrants. of Best pizza in the world!!!
Are you at Arby’s?
They serve sweaty roast beef there
Dabbed with thick white sauce
Haiku # 70463, April 18, 2021 9:39 pm ET
by I. Wish of You would take me to lunch (but somewhere nice)
Old hippie here now.
Testes falling out his shorts.
Genital pride day?!?
Haiku # 70462, April 18, 2021 8:29 pm ET
by Why can't it be hottie 19 yo or something?! of God... life.
Coffee shop lezbos.
Shorts expose their vaginas.
Looks like raw bacon.
Haiku # 70461, April 18, 2021 8:16 pm ET
by Think I'll skip breakfast this morning. of Just a coffee, thanks.
I read the playbill
Look here, it says Jac-Vac scene
Darth, You're such a ham!
Haiku # 70460, April 18, 2021 7:04 pm ET
by Patron of the arts of Off Off Off Off Broadway
Not so fast, poet
I didn't get the shot yet
Should have saved your load
Haiku # 70459, April 18, 2021 5:24 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Eyes on You
I work at Pfizer.
Jacked off in the vaccine batch.
High cooz in your head.
Haiku # 70458, April 18, 2021 6:31 am ET
by Now you're infected!
Vaccines make you gay.
I mean, you're already gay.
But now you're more gay.
Haiku # 70457, April 18, 2021 6:18 am ET
by Pray the Gay Away!
Don't wait! Vaccinate!
Don't wanna be Covid bait
Stay in healthy state
Haiku # 70456, April 18, 2021 5:28 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Noticing You
Have someone bumped off
Coming soon to Amazon
2-Day Fulfillment
Haiku # 70455, April 17, 2021 11:47 pm ET
by P. Ann O’Ire of Irish Mafia
Soccer or football....
No matter what you might call it...
Still boring as hell
Haiku # 70454, April 17, 2021 1:41 pm ET
by Orange slices at half-time
Haiku Convention
Match the face with the poems
Yes, Darth, there’s free cheese
Haiku # 70453, April 16, 2021 8:22 pm ET
by Hello my name is of No Tell Hotel
I took a dump there
Wiped my ass with sharp pine cones
Then I soldiered on
Haiku # 70452, April 16, 2021 3:21 pm ET
by I. M. Chafed of Trailing Toilet Paper
Appalachian trail
Appalachian trail. Apple
ate shin chair. Adam.
Haiku # 70451, April 16, 2021 2:33 pm ET
by Not Adam of Home
Collective malaise
Thin veneer of decorum
Divided by tech
Haiku # 70450, April 16, 2021 2:32 pm ET
by Not Adam of Home
Scrub a dub a doo
Lift the brown stains of your poo
Toilet looks like new
Haiku # 70449, April 15, 2021 3:31 pm ET
by Tidy Azmodius of Latrine
Come to me demons
I summon thee with haiku
Now clean my toilet
Haiku # 70448, April 15, 2021 8:52 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Only Dart-filth now...
This site has become boring
Since it got new look
Haiku # 70447, April 15, 2021 8:00 am ET
by Bored Visitor
To summon demons
Pick seventeen syllables
We'll call it haiku
Haiku # 70446, April 14, 2021 10:21 pm ET
by Author of Demons for Dummies
Hey, what about me?
Jeffrey wants in on it too.
I'll bring whipping cream
Haiku # 70445, April 14, 2021 9:02 pm ET
by Mangina Garten of Hamptons
I’d get in on that
There’d be lots of good weed first
Nice dinner after
Haiku # 70444, April 14, 2021 5:37 pm ET
by Author of Martha, Snoop and Me
Please imagine this
Martha and Snoop get it on
No need to thank me
Haiku # 70443, April 14, 2021 12:39 pm ET
by Jack the Zipper
A donut filled with
McKenzie Phillips’ zit puss
and Schneider's semen
Haiku # 70442, April 14, 2021 6:50 am ET
by From the makers of Tom Bosley’s Warm Load Eggwich
My night with Martha
The way she gripped my stiff rod
Like a hot glue gun
Haiku # 70441, April 14, 2021 5:39 am ET
by Fucked hard by Martha Stewart of Connecticut, usa
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Haiku # 70440, April 14, 2021 5:31 am ET
by Heatherbrity of Russia
Hung like a dead horse.
Rotten and full of maggots.
And this gets you hot.
Haiku # 70439, April 14, 2021 4:48 am ET
by Rotten HUNGarian sausage. of Funtcart
Good that it was huge.
Only 3 inches poked out
from under that gut.
Haiku # 70438, April 14, 2021 3:57 am ET
by you can have it sister
Kicking a dead horse?
Tom Bosley was hung like one
Thanks for your support.
Haiku # 70437, April 13, 2021 11:03 pm ET
by Speaking of support, Tom Bosley had a massive jock strap.
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