Fuck you, Canada.
You are no better than US.
Humble yourself. Pray.

My wife has just left
To go pick up Chinese food.
Haiku THAT, bitches.

Now I'm in the zone.
Now I write absolute truth.
Now I'm in the NOW.

I spit on Basho,
Issa, Buson, and Shiki.
Useless scribblers all.

Alone with keyboard.
Existential Truth-moment.
This is satori.

Sixteen-ounce tall boys:
Elixir of divine life.
Twenty-one to go...

Hey --- please help me out;
Write some haiku in my name.
Help me reach my goal.

Twenty-three to go.
Got to crank these haikus out
Lest I lose my crown.

Like Napoleon,
I snatch the crown from their hand.
Bow DOWN, lesser fools...

Six hours later:
No one dares to contest me.
I crown myself king.

Ten haiku finished.
Only twenty-five to go.
I reign: haiku god.

Today's objective:
Thirty haikus in a row.
Prepare for the blow.

Just me and haiku.
We have a thing going on.
Always gets me off.

Now it is your turn.
I have to go and shovel.
But first: one more word.

JAH Rastafari !
Jah Almighty is with us:
I-n-I white man.

Rapid-fire haiku:
Load clip, fire, discharge, new clip...
(Check ammunition)

"We shall haiku them
On the beaches, and we shall
Haiku in the hills."

Haiku is the womb.
Haiku is also the breasts;
Great Haiku Mother.

Got beer, will haiku.
I will haiku for money,
and haiku for free.

One-wurld guvermint
Kin never stop the haiku.
Pass the moonshine, Clem.

Yeah baybeh baybeh!
(ten-minute guitar solo)
Woah now mama YEAH!

All snowed-in up here.
Everything has been canceled.
So: beer and haiku.

Not easy to guess
What Danish Eskimos want.
We need to know soon.

perhaps it can be
america's own taiwan?
turn the mike to mute

Please react harder.
You are not triggered enough.
Write angry haiku!

Keep my country's name
Out of your fucking shit mouth
- All of Canada

disinformation
and enshittification
defile a nation

politics aside
whatever you call the gulf
a schism remains

Do you know what's right?
To count all your syllables;
How many are left...

Do you know what's white?
"the Gulf of America",
So American.

donald trump's babbling
he's high on bronzing powder
and making no sense

Rastaman babbling:
He's high on marijuana
And making no sense.

like so much of life
the best haiku shall happen
as haphazard treats

Just Lofan and me.
What happened to the haiku?
Everyone gave up.

Car emissions test:
This is truly exhausting...
Ain't just blowing smoke.

An upscale wine bar:
Salam, future confidant!
May laughter echo...

No dudes in girls sports!
The woke baizou are upset!
Big win for the girls!

Don is a dealer
Lives in dense woke leftist brains
Fook around find out.

real estate donald
gaza's ready for stripping
ultimate bank deal

We need more of this:
Panty-waist Milquetoastery.
"Crumpets for you, sir."

Good faith: willable.
A fertile field: tillable.
Accounts: billable.

Haiku syllable:
My verse is unkillable...
All forms fillable.

Sail on, Titanic.
My haiku's not satanic;
It's messianic!

You seem very sad!
A good cry will help a lot
Holler louder waaaah!

I believe Lofan.
He is the true West-coast sage,
Cuz he's from the East.

Hello Wong Lofake
Nobody believes your bullshit
Please learn how to count.

What is Woman?, Man?
Ai yah ! Hao the hell to know??
Look in pants comrade-

The golden orange man!
all your base belong to him-
Holler louder wah wah!

Trump worse than Hitler.
Trump worse than Stalin and Mao--
Almost worse than me.

Old wise man returns!
Sage of Chung Nan mountain heights
Descends to bring light...