an old question asked
one that tires and strikes fear,
homestuck: you know it?

the mighty sea slug
many do not see its grace
it go munch munch munch

a whale magic show
imagine it, how sublime!
but whales dont have hands

heading home from work
tie at a rakish angle
bachelor's handbag

what a great contrast
wispy haired orange baby
with a new blue rinse

well that's a relief
welcome back, america
you've been too gone, long

I got some pizza
So I need to write haiku
Before I eat it

take note, benjamin
it's the art of the schlemiel
for all schlimazels

Howdy Murica
A poo wave sweeps your nation
Angst constipation

I met your mother
And I made your mother bleed.
And she enjoyed it...

I met Charlie Kirk
And then his crisis actor
Neither were bleeding

the mid-terminals
as a detached bystander
one can only hope

Ash is the constant.
Ash is the haiku baseline.
Let us all toast Ash.

seems impossible
it can't be forty-three years
since that yesterday

distances between
something i wanted to say
but not what i said

Happy Halloween.
Your dead soul lies in between
Realms seen and unseen...

Haikuology
Demands no apology
From ethnology.

Cheesecake Factory
Eric and Junior's cocaine
As appetizers

Don't believe fake noose.
Obama, the golden goose
AND Trump, owned by juice.

Vintage Obscura.
Go to Vintage Obscura:
The greatest mixes!

I'm my wife's dildo.
She bought me when I bought her.
She is my fleshlight.

Noose around trump's neck
Obama as the hangman
MAGA in reverse

Noose around trump's neck
Obama as the hangman
Sadly just a dream

18 short days and
this damned site will be 30
nineteen ninety six

Homophobes are gay
Not in all cases but most
Trump's an example

Homophobes are gay
Not in all cases but most
Just ask Donald trump

Often passed out drunk
Pete Hegseth and Kash Patel
Heroes to MAGA

First there was Nothing.
Then it became Everything
Because of Something.

I love Obama
And I hate America
Hey what can I do

I love Obama
And I hate America
Hey what can I do

When I was outside
I saw Pete Hegseth's liver
It appeared quite drunk

I have T D S
Just because I have a brain
I'm a libtard too

The figpucker's back!
With verse like unwashed ass-crack.
Haiku some smack, jack!

Melania's cock
Not as big as Obama's
Yet still impressive

If a dyslexic
Were able to suck his dick
Leave the house would he?

I was in Florence
Not the Italian city
The Jefferson's maid

If I were a whore
Would I have to keep teaching Or could I just quit?

If I were a whore
Would I have to keep teaching Or could I just quit?

My penis fell off
And My other one's at home
Any suggestions?

God's an atheist
Which may be indicative
Of low self esteem

Weighed my dick Today
Didn't even register
Scale must be broken

your days grow colder
as we sail into spring here
bite my great pumpkin

cabbage night brings fright
to your small nether regions
goblins gob your knob

Halloween brings fear
To your southern hemisphere
Just as it does here...

he's the president
we have a prime minister
no comparison

Your best estimate:
What percentage of haiku...
Written while pooping?

Hey, wait a minute
Is he YOUR president, Ash?
Thought you were Aussie...

the president's pout
like a patulous anus
keeps on spilling shit

i'm a trump woman
coiffed blonde and disposable
shiny but not bright

I myself REIGN here.
I initiate haiku
And then end haiku.