memorialize
joey with bad haiku or
paint on black velvet.

just like jesus or
jfk. elvis always
looks cool when painted.

TV shows what sells
to people... now doesn't that
make us MORE evil?

joey's spirit lives
rest in peace joey ramone
punk changed everything

bloated colon bursts
through clenched anus, spraying you
with my grit. sorry.

TV is evil
It creates greedy zombies,
monsters with no sense

Yummy chocolate
Trickling down my double chin
Never say diet!

inspirational
not amotivational
inhalational

ev'ry now and then
in a moment of pure zen
i raise up the pen

too predictably
inevitability
life's evolution

She is a Hi-Fi
Samuri and He is a
warrior poet

together they will
sit at the edge of the world
and share a dubie

lone gunman, just me
companions in haiku crime
are gone now, just me

gazing at my palm
reflecting on reflections
holding my stylus

A busy day needs
a good dose of bad haiku
to help set the tone.

fingerfood moves out -
gives the finger, takes the food and
retires for the night.

fasten your seat belts!
concorde swoops down the runway!
um... what's that thi-...CRASH!

the red bulb flickers
and mournfully breathes its last.
the dark room's darker.

Deep contemplation
What's that scratching in my ass?
oh - my fingernail.

pillow-talk's nice but
we should discuss religion -
let's talk about sects.

launch me to the moon
so I can truly find out -
Is there a man there?

Damn pressure extreme.
Sphincter torqued to red line now!
Hydrolaser shit.

Poor silly baBoon!
Prozac? Elavil? Zoloft?
Play nice or suffer.

caressed lovingly
his tools are greased and oily
O he'll come again

this whippersnipper
wildly weilding that big thing
makes me go crazy

he comes every week
fires that thing up and buzzes
till he finishes

better yet-

rain flowers of spring
like vulvas of silver pee;
feel when urine me!

the flowers of spring
like vulvas of silver pee...
feel when urine me!

not fine, no cure no
soul. Hope there's no tomorrow,
Superduperman!

Is this a job for
Superman? No. But mellie
haiku will do fine.

Tune in tomorrow
for poo poo jokes. Much laughter.
A cure for the soul.

More sensitive souls
might convey more love and hope.
My sad failure.

This affliction, so
seemingly immutable,
serves growth of spirit.

i wish this sickness
would end and leave me in peace
tuberculosis?

dammit, i'm so mad
cute guy who flirted with me
stood me up. bastard.

i churn out haiku
like an old maid churning the
old cow's fresh butter

listening to gus
- now guster - fills me with so
derned much happiness

the phantom tollbooth
signed by norton jester is
sitting on my shelf

it's too fucking hot
roasting in my pajamas
wish i had a/c

fa fa fa fa fa
fa fa fa fa i wanna
be sedated. gone

KISS blows a farewell
flickering tongue suggestive
more than kiss to cum

giving up cold pork
crossed buns off the shopping list
christmas is coming

Tonight, I shall eat:
sausage, onions, red peppers
and quaff many beers.

Tomorrow I shall
shit with the power of Thor!
Stand by for details.

the watchdog in the
phantom toolbooth has warrant
out for your arrest

hey naw, take from the
sublime, not your down time to
make up some Bad rhyme.

boredom at this desk
Bad Haiku will kill some time
but not very much

back to the foofer
k for crap, c for shit: till
someone waxes Poe.

Time blows calm across
Voices raised in simple song
Hearing everthing.

Broken nose in cast
Cause is other person's hand
Grog do the beat down!

we asstronauts write
nothing butt haikus about
Uranus; Black Holes

Kiss of life? For me?
AWESOME! If the same kiss I
am referring to..

I have returned now.
I was out mining today.
Mining my colon!

stretch swollen sphincter
disgorge a fecal froth feast
were you done eating?

Drop and rejoice, now!
My meager contributions -
mutilated verse.