BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
17 Years
351 Days
and
51601 Haikus
later...
Lobster and artichokes
Slather with spirits
Canine hurls protein yak
Haiku #23815, by Goddess of all that is Battle Puppy of MI
December 9, 2002 4:50 pm ET

Yaksunami and Artsy
Means puke and good taste
Can be together at last.
Haiku #23814, by Battlepuppy of MI
December 9, 2002 4:26 pm ET

Ravioli Man
Cheesey Tortellini Gal
Greatest of Rivals
Haiku #23813, by Battlepuppy of MI
December 9, 2002 4:10 pm ET

it is the return
Ravioli Man, hero
meaty champion
Haiku #23812, by Drophammer of Akkadia
December 9, 2002 3:49 pm ET

mighty butt straining
no seepage here, sphincterclench
forcing excrement
Haiku #23811, by Drophammer of Akkadia
December 9, 2002 3:48 pm ET

thankfully she smiles
down on the puppy of battles
this goddess of love
Haiku #23810, by Drophammer of Akkadia
December 9, 2002 3:47 pm ET

Girlfriend of happy willow
waits with bated breath
Immortalize her
Haiku #23809, by Goddess of all that is BattlePuppy of Climax, MI
December 9, 2002 3:39 pm ET

Remove the butt plug
Poopy granola badness
seeps forth, then torrent
Haiku #23808, by Battlepuppy of MI
December 9, 2002 3:10 pm ET

Flexible willow
Has girlfriend, is happy
Stiff oak still alone
Haiku #23807, by Battlepuppy of MI
December 9, 2002 3:08 pm ET

Hammer clenches cheeks
Empties bowels painfully
By loud vomiting
as he vomits

by vomiting.
Haiku #23806, by Battlepuppy of MI
December 9, 2002 2:57 pm ET

oh, this is my bad
i did not see it was "bad"
i saw "butt" haiku
Haiku #23805, by Drophammer of Akkadia
December 9, 2002 2:34 pm ET

o, what is the sound
of one hairy white cheek clenching
my ass is on fire
Haiku #23804, by Drophammer of Akkadia
December 9, 2002 2:33 pm ET

a prophecy here
maestro shall not defeat
the battle puppy
Haiku #23803, by Drophammer of Akkadia
December 9, 2002 2:31 pm ET

Puppy is so bad
He will fart in your corn flakes
Make them Cocoa Puffs.
Haiku #23802, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 2:14 pm ET

Puppy waits for maestro
to bring any kind of class
to badhaiku
Haiku #23801, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 2:12 pm ET

Fear me, the Battle Puppy
Boundless is my naked wrath
All shards, plaster, shit
Haiku #23800, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 2:09 pm ET

Poorly trained, this pup
Battlepuppy very bad
Pees on fresh cornflakes
Haiku #23799, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 2:06 pm ET

immense voltage drop
across conductive organs
required to shock me
Haiku #23798, by maestro
December 9, 2002 1:28 pm ET

the hammer shall drop
upon canine cranium
"Down, Battlepuppy!"
Haiku #23797, by maestro
December 9, 2002 1:23 pm ET

I'm feeling stupid
get me some coffee, damnit
or perhaps cornflakes
Haiku #23796, by Drophammer of Akkadia
December 9, 2002 1:18 pm ET

stupid people say
here, make me copies of this
and get me coffee

stupid people pee
in your cornflakes or oatmeal
they sure are bastards
Haiku #23795, by Drophammer of Akkadia
December 9, 2002 1:17 pm ET

initial dram: noon
courting imbecility
awash in spirits
Haiku #23794, by maestro
December 9, 2002 1:16 pm ET

i'm just about there
people are pissing me off
stupid people suck!
Haiku #23793, by tiger of vegas
December 9, 2002 1:08 pm ET

words that make you cringe
like "quivering" or "polyps"
as pop tart flavors
Haiku #23792, by Drophammer of Akkadia
December 9, 2002 12:07 pm ET

will you stand before
the fury of his armies?
his naked buttocks?
Haiku #23791, by Drophammer of Akkadia
December 9, 2002 12:03 pm ET

thus descends the god
battle puppy in bad verse
with a gay uncle
Haiku #23790, by Drophammer of steely stuff
December 9, 2002 12:00 pm ET

Point at everyone else
For THEY are the true problems
Naw, couldn't be you.
Haiku #23789, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:59 am ET

Poor me, says bachelor
No one is good enough
But wait... he's an ass.
Haiku #23788, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:57 am ET

Fat, androgynous
Balding, glasses on smug nose
Wit, yes, but looks... no.
Haiku #23787, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:55 am ET

Girls run screaming
After a single one-nighter
Musta been with Ed
Haiku #23786, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:52 am ET

Sits on a man-pole
Has to get it from somewhere
Girls always run
Haiku #23785, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:45 am ET

I go way too far?
I have much farther to go
Ain't seen nothin yet.
Haiku #23784, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:39 am ET

Smelly man-juice hits
like a wet, breadless sandwich
Right on Ed's forehead.
Haiku #23783, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:38 am ET

Hung like a squirrel
He dives for the clitoris
Says he's an oak tree
Haiku #23782, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:36 am ET

Sitting there quiet,
Birds chirping, playing banjo
Uncle is still gay.
Haiku #23781, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:34 am ET

My ass cheeks spread wide
plaster pours forth, shards aplenty
shit plaster shards... ow.
Haiku #23780, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:31 am ET

Previous haiku
not meant to make fun of 9-11
My uncle is gay.
Haiku #23779, by Anonymous Poet
December 9, 2002 11:30 am ET

Fields aplenty, patches
People looking like small ants
From a crashing plane
Haiku #23778, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:29 am ET

Tribute to heroes
Standing tall amidst masses
My steely man-pole
Haiku #23777, by Battlepuppy
December 9, 2002 11:26 am ET

frothy excrement
speedy jet of greenish goo
pants are smoldering
Haiku #23776, by Drophammer of somewhere you never want to be
December 9, 2002 11:22 am ET

Two more languages
could maybe sometime be tried -
but only one I'll dare
Haiku #23775, by R. of PT
December 9, 2002 9:05 am ET

Until now used four,
Some are easy some are not
All are really fun
Haiku #23774, by R. of PT
December 9, 2002 9:02 am ET

Spanish Portuguese
Can be really special fun
but need time to think
Haiku #23773, by R. of PT
December 9, 2002 8:58 am ET

Other languages
can be called appropriate too -
Will try that one day
Haiku #23772, by R. of PT
December 9, 2002 8:55 am ET

French too many syl's
Italian nobody knows
English more popular
Haiku #23771, by R. of PT
December 9, 2002 8:50 am ET

De quelle humeur t'es?
Ne les laisse pas decider
pour toute la journee
Haiku #23770, by R. of PT
December 9, 2002 8:48 am ET

Don't let them decide
that happy is not your mood
when you start your day
Haiku #23769, by R. of PT
December 9, 2002 8:44 am ET

When you start your day
is it radio or the news
who decide your mood
Haiku #23768, by R. of PT
December 9, 2002 8:40 am ET

Let's say happiness
should be the one driving force
behind all one's moods
Haiku #23767, by R. of PT
December 9, 2002 8:12 am ET

Is "fun" the right word -
Or "happiness" maybe is
a much better choice
Haiku #23766, by R. of PT
December 9, 2002 8:10 am ET