Interview questions:
Who is your favorite band?
Ever kill someone?

To be skinned is bliss.
Turned inside out like a glove.
Guts lying at feet.

Like rhinestone cowboy
Daddy go rodeo ham
Stink spangled insult

I have to go poop.
I'll be right back afterwards.
See, I am now back.

I did not fall in.
That could never have happened.
My ass is too wide.

Try using wetwipes.
They're way better than TP.
Your ass will feel great.

Viruses and spam.
Scam and sham, no thank you, ma'am.
Burn in hell, Goddamn!

I offer to you
Haiku about sudoku
It's logic, not math

We're born from the sea.
Origins that smell of fish.
You must love sushi.

He owns a mouser.
I thought that he meant a cat,
not a gay sex slave.

Things I think about.
If ev'ry sperm became man.
Outnumber the stars.

wat little i know
reflects wat little i learn,
wat little i care

Hello!
My penis fell off.
Please let me borrow some glue.
Epoxy is fine.

how do haikus work
could someone educate me
do they go like this

my giant penis
just kidding i dont have one
this makes me depressed

one two three four five
two three four five six seven
one two three four five

Vaginal prolapse.
Arby's roast beef sandwiches.
There's no difference.

some got silicon
i'm chesty in my own way
with yellow mucus

Music listening
helps my mind mend mad mistakes
Can't go back in time

Eventually,
everything comes to an end.
Even this haiku.

Pacquiao will die.
Mayweather will also die.
Everyone will die.

Hey, your step sister
looks exactly like my mom
Small world after all

She's my step sister!
And we are deeply in love.
Mind your own business.

Lots of people care!
More than they love poetry.
Get off your sister.

Will Pacquiao win?
Or will it be Mayweather?
Who gives a rat's ass!

Post influenza
thick Nickelodian slime
fills my sinuses.

Common signature.
Always writes about douche bags.
His wife should get one.

Flatulent old toad.
Croaks his rancid methane belch.
Global warming frogs.

people on streets
robes attire ford
blame canada

Inside the roof.
Under the clouds.

Flush it all away.
I do not need to worry.
I know how to swim.

I traveled through time.
I brought back a dinosaur.
T-rex McNuggets.

Bicycle powered.
Enormous gyrating dong.
Self lubricated.

I'd poop in your yard.
Please put your address on here.
I'll be there shortly.

Let Bob do his job.
He's fertilizing your yard.
See how green it is!

"Bob" is palindrome
Bob is also a douche bag
Who poops in my yard

The spam bots forgot
to attach their stupid links.
Nothing but "Hello!"

farts
testing...

your lost palindrome
feel like you're going backwards ?
can't have it both ways

I wrote a novel.
It's also a palindrome.
Forgot to hit save.

I hate all poems
That's why I write characters
do weird things to them

I hate all people.
That's why I write poetry.
I should do drive-by's.

What would people do
if I recited at them
from my car window?

Outlaw all clothing.
Naked people ev'rywhere.
Move to Florida.

The industrious
will gather up the bullshit
to put on gardens.

But there is no truth.
There is only the bullshit.
Oooo, I'm so profound.

Where others see truth,
the weary smell the bullshit
I blame the cattle!

Stealing is not cool.
Unless you steal condoms.
Then it is okay.

Dead men tell no lies.
But they can get erections.
And they poop themselves.

To write good haiku,
the last line should be subtle.
Fish don't fart bubbles.

It is all the same.
Had sex, made love to, or fucked.
Now do a hand stand.

The roasted flesh of
five castrated gummy bears
clog up my e-bong.

I put Viagra
in the Eucharist wafers.
Oh, those silly priests.

Do you have a fave?
Which haiku do you like best?
I know it's not mine.