i want a system
working to provide an answer
to the evil

in the world right now

I want things to be
funny again because it
is the big fuck you

to proud, evil and
this dark world I think I need
to write funny things

got the hernia
feeling and I am not sure
how to report on

this sort of thing in
a 'haiku' but I think it
is just the theme here

in the news horror
of terror this and that I
want to fight these beasts

yet I feel helpless
hearing about those out there in
countries , just helpless

The school janitor
saved his dandruff in a jar.
Swapped the Parmesan.

You've not tried balot.
Most disgusting food there is.
Abortions to go.



Not for the "Joe Blow".
Only eat them when your drunk.
And the moon is full.

It's a bonding snack.
Share one with a prostitute.
And get her pregnant.

This could be your kid.
Well, the abortion, I mean.
Happy Father's Day!

I see it all now
the Icelandic festival
with sheeps balls and this

shark thing and you know
I've eaten haggis and it
isn't really that bad!

and what about the
Icelandic dish shark buried
in the soil made to

rot and be eaten
but at least they make a cool
drink, a black death? hmm

Brennivin

ah push my big red
button doesn't do anything
the big shiny

red candy button
ENTICING you to push IT!
sorry Ren it doesn't...

do anything

Flies swarm the dead fish.
It rots and dries in the sun.
They make sauce with it.

I have seen too much.
I have also smelled too much.
I pray for a shark.

Red Bull give you wings.
That's how they get wings on pads.
Don't tell anyone.

The old drunk farted.
Only his dog and wife heard.
And this saddened him.

The girl was too flat.
So she bought some gel titties.
They popped and she died.

Do not spend money.
When you do, it destroys Earth.
Live as a cave man.

The old woman spit.
Her chunk of phlegm stirred the dust.
The ants were upset.

Whatever may be,
South Park's the best TV show.
More truth than FOX "News".

I am so burned out.
I need to go buy dog food.
For the dog, not me.

Then I realized:
That's not a girl, that's a guy!
I got his number.

When I saw that girl,
the sheer ugliness of her
made my sphincter clench.

Teens with black lipstick
are rather unattractive;
pervert repellent.

"Supreme Leader Snoke".
How could a name be more gay?
Communist Star Wars.

"Leader Kim Jong-un"
will be in the next Star Wars.
Bootlegged Star Wars toys.

This is too easy.
I could do this all day long.
Just like eating puss.

I think I'm pregnant.
What a fine baby I'll have.
Who is the father?

I seriously
want some Goddamn fried chicken
and watermelon.

That wasn't just sperm
that came out of his penis.
And, man, did it stink!

"I am not gay but
20 bucks is 20 bucks."
What a great t-shirt.

I'll get some donuts.
And a cup of hot coffee.
I guess that is all.

My lunch disappeared.
Many lunches disappeared.
Damn office kitchen.

I made a sandwich;
a very special sandwich
for the thief to eat.

the boss did not like
the note on the ice box door.
Here's what it said:

Congratulations!
I hope you enjoyed the dog
placenta sandwich.

Philippine hookers
have exotic diseases;
germ warfare heaven.

Hillary Clinton's
leaked sex tape of her leaking
sperm from old hippies.

Bodily functions
still make the best bad haiku.
Get back to basics.

The more you vomit,
The more exciting the night.
Now you clean it up.

Vaginas may stink.
And sometimes they even bleed.
Yes still, I'll eat them.

Thunderous flatus.
Stench travels faster than sound.
Knocking down houses.

lets put it this way
if I were dead for real none
of the games people play

would really matter
you could post every insult
or speculation

i'd be dead. facebook
would just be a shell, no more
posts from the real "x"

if I were ok i'd
still annoy the hell out of
some and I hope I'd

amuse others sweet

I think what some folks
don't get is some mean what they
say exactly like

and that confuses
people who are used to the
games people do play

I make more sense to
them as a liar, thief and
otherwise vile swine

real feelings are true
anathema to those still
playing 1990s net

Hello!

anonymous is
guard dog for a garbage pile
have fun by yourself

Oh, please don't leave us!
You're the wise father figure
to us wannabes.

I'd give anything
to have your wit and insight.
Our poetry god!

So I can get rich,
I'll follow you with a broom
keeping all the dust.

Sold in tiny bags,
the dust that you have walked on.
$15 G's per gram.

People will snort it
in hopes of becoming great,
and their poems as absolutely fucking amazing as every one of your poems are. I have memorized every line! Transcribing it for generations to follow and worship of found the one true religion of the poetry of iamback... er... I mean vhs. Whatever.

one letter changes
message board to massage board
so choose them with care

i should hate to go
silent but it may happen
sometimes there's last words

i sit at a desk
as i have my whole darn life
the world it changes

all around me

it goes on and on
till it can't go on no more
the last breath sighs out

the life indulged in
self the body just might decide
to just break down

hypertension, stress
a lot doesn't matter when
survival's at stake

one man seems to just
argue with himself and posts
to occasional posts

Google "Perrava".
You'll find links to webcam whores.
I think she's an ex.
I think you are wrong.
You do not look like an ass.
But sure smell like one.
Pull my right index.
Paroot ootoot toot tootoot.
They smell good, don't they?
So you see, friend Pee,
you who too doe'st reek of poo
should oft write haiku.
You're in urine luck.
Throw your hands, say what the fuck,
pay the whores to suck.

You followed
And thus you had found
Obvious

I cannot
Be so dimwitted
Goddammit

It is a
Horrid place to write
I love it

Men who oft get laid
don't feel the need to write.
That is why I'm here.

Wife's too big and fat.
I can't feel anything.
Her puss is too big.

Or my dicks too small.
Whatever the case may be.
I need a mistress.