Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 344 Days and 72930 Haikus later...

As Obi Wan said,
"That's no moon, it's bankruptcy."
Blow the whole thing up!
Haiku # 72930, October 22, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. of The shaft leads directly to the reactor system.
despite holes in walls,
i can see the moon shining
through my bank account
Haiku # 72929, October 22, 2021 5:52 pm ET
by scotch of pardon the dust
kitchen is too small
but only masochists think
"kitchen remodel"
Haiku # 72928, October 22, 2021 5:48 pm ET
by scotch of masochism central
Scuza da extra a syllable
Haiku # 72927, October 22, 2021 4:58 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of Italy
Jesus walked with me
So I asked a Him a question
Are those Birkenstocks?
Haiku # 72926, October 22, 2021 4:57 pm ET
by Fuckin Hippie
I blame the Flintstones
"Gonna have a gay old time?"
Bad theme song lyrics
Haiku # 72925, October 22, 2021 4:28 pm ET
by A generation of American homosexuals because of Hanna Barbera
Are you sick of life.
Maybe life is sick of you.
You can divorce life.
Haiku # 72924, October 22, 2021 3:28 pm ET
by So many options.
New York Dolls aren't gay.
And there's something wrong with that.
Bunch of glam posers.
Haiku # 72923, October 22, 2021 3:26 pm ET
by Like so many of their time.
If the truth be told,
I'm a horrible person.
And keep getting worse.
Haiku # 72922, October 22, 2021 3:22 pm ET
by Thanks be to God for that!
Yeah and verily
I'm Janis of Toronto.
Damn straight. Right Janis?
Haiku # 72921, October 22, 2021 2:18 pm ET
by Some Dead Haiku Genius of Beyond the Grave
I am IAmBack.
Well, at least I think I am . . .
Pretty sure its me.
Haiku # 72920, October 22, 2021 2:10 pm ET
by Personality Crisis of Got It While It Was HOT (New York Dolls)
You know you LOVE it.
Get your leg up on that bed.
Yeah, baby. Haikuuuuuuu . . . .
Haiku # 72919, October 22, 2021 2:07 pm ET
by Poetic Subjugation of Women Through Haiku Verse-form
Bring it on! Right NOW.
Bring it, pathetic bitches.
Let the haiku start!
Haiku # 72918, October 22, 2021 2:04 pm ET
by Eternal Recurrence of Genesis of Haiku Will to Power
Oh filthy weaklings
You shall be cleansed from the earth.
Then Haiku shall reign.
Haiku # 72917, October 22, 2021 2:01 pm ET
by Maybe a Few Limericks but only If They Are Good
I shall smite the world
with these haiku syllables.
just you watch, sucker.
Haiku # 72916, October 22, 2021 1:59 pm ET
by Bow before me for I am the omniscient omnipotent omnipresent Lord of the final haiku of the dreaded cleansing fire
The great mothership!
Behold she descends with lights!
Let judgement begin!
Haiku # 72915, October 22, 2021 1:45 pm ET
by But First Gotta Buy a 12-pack of Beer
Bring that black goat here:
Slit its throat now. Drain its blood.
Ah yes. I am pleased.
Haiku # 72914, October 22, 2021 1:41 pm ET
by Great Power of Exu of Macumba
I am Wallace Fard.
Yes, I AM the twelfth imam.
And I have returned.
Haiku # 72913, October 22, 2021 1:39 pm ET
by To Fulfill All Prophecy for those of Limited Intelligence
Am I not the Lord?
Do I not write the best verse?
My haiku kicks ASS.
Haiku # 72912, October 22, 2021 1:35 pm ET
by And I run the universe at the same time
When rat cages become overpopulated, many of the rats engage in homosexual behavior but still it does not fix the population problem or even slow the population growth much at all until it's too late and by then they are all dead from starvation and violence.
We should do that, more violence.
And they should stop putting chemicals in the water because it makes the freakin' frogs gay!
Haiku # 72911, October 22, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Holier than thou!
Speak ye not the name of God,
for that's just silly.
Haiku # 72910, October 22, 2021 1:16 pm ET
by Your silly goose is cooked!
Iron overdose.
Magnetic masturbation.
Testes: 1, 2, 3.
Haiku # 72909, October 22, 2021 1:14 pm ET
by Testicular polarity. of I'm just looking for North.
Poetry is dead!
If it's not, then what's that smell?
Oh wait, that's me... oops.
Haiku # 72908, October 22, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by Hard to control oneself at this age.
Maybe I need my
own talk radio program
since Limbaugh is dead.
Haiku # 72907, October 22, 2021 12:40 pm ET
by And then I'll run for president! of Iamback can be vice prez if he ever comes out of hiding. VHS can run the CIA.
I'm praying for war.
China versus the "free world".
Or us versus them.

Fuckers gonna hunt every wild animal in the world to extinction, so I say nuke the commies! I can no longer tollerate the greed of communism. Power hungry war lords. We must destroy them before they destroy us!
Haiku # 72906, October 22, 2021 12:38 pm ET
by You know I'm right.
Enough of these games!
Life's no longer worth living!
Bring me my chainsaw!
Haiku # 72905, October 22, 2021 12:32 pm ET
by I never was too wild about that Texas Chainsaw movie. of House of 1000 Corpses though... that's how to murder!
I miss "Iamback".
He was a funny fellow.
"Gay Star Wars weddings."
Haiku # 72904, October 22, 2021 12:24 pm ET
by Star Wars weddings aren't as gas as Grande Pumpkin Spice Lattes though. of If I was a terrorist, I'd suicide bomb the Starbuck's head office. 2401 Utah Avenue South Seattle, WA 98134
I have heard the Lord.
He said to go burn witches.
Where's my flamethrower?
Haiku # 72903, October 22, 2021 12:18 pm ET
by Do it modern style.
Ye wayward children,
Hear the voice of the Lord God:
Write ye GOOD haiku.
Haiku # 72902, October 22, 2021 11:28 am ET
by For in this I am well-pleased of Sayeth the Lord
This site's like a church
I know God's in here somewhere
Lord, make yourself known!
Haiku # 72901, October 21, 2021 11:39 pm ET
by parishioner of kneeling
Приветствую Вас господа!
Качественное удобрение - залог отличного урожая, поэтому так важно применять минеральные подкормки осенью, благодаря которым растениям удастся пережить зимний период и уцелеть от нашествия грызунов и насекомых. Однако классические (простые) подкормки несколько негативно воздействуют на качество распределения их по участку. Для того, чтобы исправить этот нюанс, рекомендуется использовать сложные удобрения, содержащие в себе азот, калий и фосфор.Минеральные удобрения содержат в себя следующие виды полезных микроэлементов:Азотные - прекрасно способствуют стремительному росту и развитию растений. Фосфатные - существенно повышают показатель урожайности, и улучшают качество продукции. Калийные - хорошо обеспечивают устойчивость растений к различным болезням, кроме того, такой урожай долго хранится и прекрасно переносит транспортировки.
Нам будет приятно видеть у нас на интернет ресурсе
Haiku # 72900, October 21, 2021 8:31 pm ET
by agrohimxig of Andorra
Darth is Figpucker
Starkitten is Noticer
The rest are beatniks
Haiku # 72899, October 21, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
And please don't tell me
that Ash is Figpucker too.
That would be awful.
Haiku # 72898, October 21, 2021 6:34 pm ET
by St. Arkitten of F. Igpucker
Where is Wong Lofan,
Wise old man of the mountain?
Has he ascended?
Haiku # 72897, October 21, 2021 6:30 pm ET
by Ancestral Sage of Full Moon
Peer-reviewed science!
We need peer-reviewed science.
(To combat the truth,)
Haiku # 72896, October 21, 2021 6:23 pm ET
by Jest a ole' knuckle-draggin' Neurosurgeon of Hillbilly Holler
Have you seen Se7en?
I imagine it's like that.
Better than Fleshlight.
Haiku # 72895, October 21, 2021 6:10 pm ET
by Narrated by Morgan Freeman.
Craigslist vagina
original packaging
Its still in the box
Haiku # 72894, October 21, 2021 6:03 pm ET
by Price of Firm
The dead walk the earth.
They check their Instagram page.
Then back in coffin.
Haiku # 72893, October 21, 2021 5:34 pm ET
by Requiescat in Pace of Boneyard
Life is much better.
Now I see most women as
Walking vaginas.
Haiku # 72892, October 21, 2021 5:27 pm ET
by Betty Friedan of The Feminine Mistaque
Haloween is here.
It's the best time of the year.
Peace, love, and goodwill.
Haiku # 72891, October 21, 2021 4:58 pm ET
by Darthkitten of Starpucker
Does Jesus hate golf,
or is that only Buddha?
Smash the damn TV!
Haiku # 72890, October 21, 2021 4:24 pm ET
by I'm not racist, but Tiger Woods should die.
A young man's penis
is possessed by the devil
and spits up pea soup.
Haiku # 72889, October 21, 2021 3:44 pm ET
by Watch the Peckercyst of Channel 666
I like seaweed snacks
Like eating rolling papers
but with wasabi
Haiku # 72888, October 21, 2021 3:37 pm ET
by starkitten of purrcific nw
Under house arrest
but I committed no crime
Going stir crazy
Haiku # 72887, October 21, 2021 3:31 pm ET
by Stuck of Middle of nowhere
Tom Bosley's Nozzle
There's an actual ski trail
named after him. Wow!
Haiku # 72886, October 21, 2021 3:21 pm ET
by Starkitten of Shredding trails like I shred your new couch
We eat the curry
Fart directly in your face
You're on vacation!

You've seen India
Where would you like to go next?
Holland? No problem
Haiku # 72885, October 21, 2021 2:13 pm ET
by Ms. Metheney (travel agent) of Prepping my "windmill"
Holland might be good.
Grow me some magic mushrooms.
Sell them all over.

That's what the world wants.
Get high and escape this shit.
And I can't argue.
Haiku # 72884, October 21, 2021 12:27 pm ET
by go with the flow and grow grow grow!
You might think it's meaningless.
It should be a word.
Haiku # 72883, October 21, 2021 12:08 pm ET
by We just have to give it meaning. of The degree to which a cunt is fun and fabulous.
Love me some hot chai.
Chai kind of makes me horny.
Bang me some Injuns.

Wrap it up real good.
Months of antibiotics.
Hope you don't get AIDS.
Haiku # 72882, October 21, 2021 11:48 am ET
by I think it's best to just stay in bum-fuck Indiana or whereever. of Know what I mean, Vern?
But I like the food.
Way better than Philippines.
Fucking Jolibee.
Haiku # 72881, October 21, 2021 11:44 am ET
by I don't get how people can eat food that I would rather throw away than even look at. of It's good not to be poor... but that shit costs a lot! And they love it!
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