frantically, i push
the switch over and over.
what's that clicking sound?

Horse power like a train
culminating to push out
last of the Kling-ons.

It finally comes.
Unexpected; still, I'm thankful
Where is my TP?!!

should the earth be spared?
with my finger on the switch,
I think of cheez whiz

wristled slurgemonkey,
goadled in thy bluggerwort -
i slook with plegma.

a new aversion
windows critical update
ah.... newer version

Avalanche of work
Do your own frikkin' typing
Lazy Boss's wife.

under the ocean
is the agreement "squid pro quo"
when molluscs shell out

quest denied again
Green Monster crucifixion
Ruth you cocksucker

where's my pencil, quick
gotta write down these rare gems
damn,let go of pants

goth is so boring.
Hell is just another place
how bad could it be?

love is life is death
i saw it in a movie.
bwick sure had it right.

go to Hell right now
feel the fire & the coals
devil's weenie roast

the sweet kiss of death
how close it is all the time
lipstick shade of RED

i hate damn mullets
freaky rat-tails gotta go
the barber is blind

in my Vogon mode
i say, "Frettled Gruntbuggly,
I'll gnop your wee-wee."

romeo is dead
he messed with me, now he's gone
spank me, juliet!

squee has a teddy
his name is "shmee", can you hear?
he says to "kill" things

the message is clear
not found, not found- you are lost
error 404

between you and i
and him and her and that thing
is a Twister mat.

the difference between
you and me is that i'm not
you and you're not me

there's no "I" in "team",
but there is a "u" in "us",
and also in "squid".

Oh joy oh rapture
Exhileration as I
go home after work...

Window Washing Man
Why do you wash those windows?
It's a waste of time

looking at windows
i'd rather have perl than gates
in my own heaven

Excel is calling
but the wonders of the Web
are drowning it out.

Green blobs of mucus
I dodge on the road as I
make my way to work

Cape Town is the town
of spitters. May I suggest
some Kleenex instead?

Sloth-like and ultra
tempremental, my PC
needs replacing, quick.

Like Linda Blair you
make me want to projectile
vom. Johan, get lost.

i beg to differ
the differences between us
mean you are not me

i mean me not i
pretentious pseudosyntax
is still incorrect

S & W
between us or we poets
grammar is a crock

between you and me,
i have to tell you that it's
"between you and i".

between us poets
grammar's a tricky old thing
what happened down south?

between you and me
there remains a conjunction
but not between us

With blood on my hands
and tears soiled in the sheets
I cry tears ov joy

it's true that i suck
but i don't suck grandma's cock
preferring marrow

good august thirteenth
someone came through sometime back
grandma have some cake

for your birthday, mel,
i will refrain from asking
"what's happening south?"

happy birthday.

Happy birthday mel
Happy birthday to mellie
Happy birthday me

Haiku is violence
I fight with my corny lines
Where is grandmas cock?

Vogon-like, I will
torture you with wretched verse:
"Frettled Gruntbuggly..."

the confidence of
taking defeat, means to meet-
more meaningful love.

the muscles in her face
are emotions, gymnastaste
torso's strength, beauty.

the muscles in her face
are emotions, gymnastaste
torso's strength, beauty.

Marie Fjordholm- had heard a great call
Marie Fjordholm- went right on up to the fall
Marie Fjordholm, I saw she had all!

improving Janis like
put in the ability
knock out no haikus

the first line has five
the next, seven syllables.
five more, with a twist.

it's not really hard.
if you don't feel creative
just write "grandma's cock".

Blank Haikus onscreen
Stop taking up my bandwidth!
Retarded poet

if you have something
to say, then kindly say it
or shut the hell up.

how can you still type
with your head stuck so far up
your pathetic ass?