raindrops rattle pipes
condensation on the panes
mould blooms on the walls

Shades of grey and blue
Adorn this long lost website
Change for the better

on armistice day
dismembered be remembered
rest in pieces chaps

Having oral sex
with a starving piranha.....
Sounds pretty painful!

I poured alcohol
onto my grown up penis
then stuck pins in it

Hey....would you ever
lick Sally Struther''s stretch marks?
Well!? So then would you?

If you lay naked
on a bed of fireants
I know I''d love you!

Saw the hand of God.
It tried to take me away.
I''m not ready yet!!!

Eeeeew! Frozen lamas --
It get friggin'' cold at night
here in Dharmsala

ah frozen llamas
the bane of my existence
I DESTROY THEM ALL!!!!!!

nursing the rabbit
watching cartoons from the lounge
so pleased with yourself

sometimes i just sit
wondering if i can fit
and then i submit

Sitting on the porch
having my way with a beer
when a fart slipped out

This is just to test
To see if the time stamp is
Working properly

achoo! gesundheit
cover your mouth, idiot
don't want your disease

gurgling again
lactose intolerance sucks
coffee is safer

next cube's a lunger
so proud of his infection
atomised virus

The morning is best
although the evening is good
for seeing the stars

it goes round and round
and doesn''t stop there even
it does other stuff

Looking for the words
to show my satisfaction
for the head you gave

I realize that
Quotation marks are all fucked
This will be fixed soon

This is a neat trick --
I hang rednecks from my porch
The Klan don''t come here.

This is a neat trick --
I hang rednecks my porch
The Klan don''t come here.

Riots in the streets--
Chaos & confusion reign--
Y2K? Haiku!

Nooooo not the comma!
I meant the apostrophe!
I guess I AM stoned!

Hey Janis check this.....
Your commas are quotations
When I type them in...

Fuckin'' ripoff scam
Try taking a cab downtown
See how they do YOU

Alaskan coastline
Birds, fish, life, all God''s wonder
Exxon is EVIL!!!

take me for granted
we haven''t made love in years
you make me feel old

i went to kuwait
ate dishwater and curry
taste my vacation

Lighten up, Emcee
Where there''s a will, there''s a way
to make things cheery!

blind me, look at this

grey as a thunderhead

great... more depression

with regards to us
i sometimes understand u
somewhat more than me

as with new seasons
the return of bad haiku
inspires poetry

another damn day
a motherfucking big mess
unwoven toupee

Congratulations
Janis, on your new site. It''s
a lovely upgrade.

This is a haiku
test to see if the new site
is working. Is it?

Why can''t we go home?
A fine question to be asked
By those with no clue

O please silly link
Post my very bad haiku
Or die die die die

bad01
bad02
bad03

Dumb dog stop glaring,
that was a long time ago.
its back to dog food.

This is a haiku
test to see if the new site
is working. Is it?

Dear GreenPeace,please note
My Dick is named FLIPPER
He is my pet Dolphin

If It Smells Like Fish
Shes a Dish, if It Smells Like
Cologne, Leave Alone

So sick of tuna
No choice but peanut butter
How does dolphin taste?

don't ever forget
the screaming of the dolphins
dying in the nets

missiles launched at night
stumbling NATO officers
pizza is ready

Uncle Wiggley
Was a goddamn phoney, Mac!
My cat's name is Bob

kosovo problems ?
some things never seem to change
final solution ?

Slid on Bunny Poop
Fell down Stairs, CRASh thru window
DAMN EASTER BUNNY!!