LC played eighteen
ran home and washed the monkey
then ate some pork pie

Billion dollar babe
took me to the promised land
in yesterday''s dream

In your land you see
fat, monkey-faced women, eh?
You must be English!

gooey sweet surprise
chocolate center when I
opened up his brain

back in my dark cube
a post-it note marked ''REVOLT!''
reach for the stapler

Smegma from Kansas
Is what orangey bits are
And you eat it. Eugh

Satan''s own urine:
Snapple''s main ingredient.
True

Poor misguided fool
Everyone knows that Snapple
Is God

I have an album.
''Let''s All Make Love in London'',
it''s called. Psychadelic.

Masturbationing
Isn

You talk out your arse;
Jaffa Cakes are flinky
- Better than Snapple.

I

Jaffa Cakes are vile
Spit out the orangey bit
Or you

Thugs abound round here
Fat, monkey-faced women, too.
Inbreeding is rife.

Ooh, mm, Jaffa Cakes
Ninety-one percent fat-free
and orangey, too

baked at the pet store
they drug test their employees
glad I just shop here

" " " "
''''''''''''''
" " " " "

Licking stuff is fun
Especially when it

The apostrophe
Is such a hard thing to use
For Americans

Pass the red pesto
The purple mastodon said
And so I passed it

You could press people
If you had a twisted mind
and a big fat book

Your daughter''s that smart?
Quote her teacher again, please
I''ll kill your daughter

The boredom trickles
Down my personality
Like wee down a leg

Morning coffee, eh?
It''s gonna be hot you say?
Got the low-wall blues

Got the low-wall blues
Shut your mouth or I''ll kill you
Got the low-wall blues

I know scary stuff
N Sync molests little boys
and then strangles them

butt fuck butt fuck butt
you are such a total slut
the new star wars sucks

overheard order
I need a cinnamon bun
no you don''t lady

my oral surgeon
says ''synthetic narcotic''
he shoots, he scores! yes!

giant transistor
checks his papers, lets him through
lucky electron!

Cool autumn morning
The blue disc calls out my name
COME ON! IT''S PLAY TIME!!!

Riding with the wind
Where you land is up to fate
It''s the frisbee life

Flying disc haiku
makes me think of hang gliding
between two giants

havin'' a hanky
old age loves embroidery
leave your threaded mark

excuse me Satan
this must belong to you sir
no human made lynx

take my lynx machine
stomp it, piss on the pieces
torch the manuals

I hate lynx so much
you hear me motherfucker?
this is serious

a deceptive name
the planet''s worst interface
lynx OS

the tip of my tongue
parts your sweet lips, a little
your taste makes me hard

A blue cylinder
has inspired bad haiku
See this URL

She studied the ring
murmurred "Ver-eee-tas" and then
said "Oooh, smarty pants"

Unselfconcsiously
yet with great style and presence
I fear not the Greeks

You poor, dumb woman
That man is an idiot
and from New Jersey

She sat in 3 B.
I was by her in 3 A.
She said she was Ann.

The plane up the coast
Rock and Rolled through the day sky.
Ann wretched in a bag.

In New York City
I got caught in a rain storm
waiting for a bus

Going bus surfing
in a 42 seater
loaded to the brim

Right next to me was
a jittery little man
being all spastic!

Lacerated lips
opened up next to my face.
Damn dude! GO AWAY!!!

My anus trickles
Sticky brown lumps of matter;
Curry assails me