i play online games
literati is a fun
way to kill the time

pointless bad haiku
number one eight seven three
nine......but I'm published!

i think there's over
four million lines of code here
with bugs like landmines

it's lack of ego
a nod to e. e. cummings
and pure laziness

ever notice that
folks will capitalize all
but the pronoun "I"?

chairman of the bored,
Frank...what an amazing voice!
(i mean Joe, of course...)

what is it with Cher?
too much formaldehyde, eh?
(next time - half the mix)

guess that's what you get
way too much googlewhacking
leaves you spent and sore

like to summarize
remember that old monks hide
scabby penises

6809 -
man, what a great little chip!
A plus B is D

Surge of Violence
Threatens Mideast Peace Idea
-Yahoo 'news' title

forget five course meals!
all i need is in this snack-
enriched bleached flour

get the "look" you love
cosmetic surgery helps
he'll "see" the real you

frogs in her pockets
locust barettes in her hair
walking to egypt

On my new iLamp
cotton clouds hold me up and
haiku floats below

jessica fletcher
was way better than matlock
in my opinion

trs-80,
a commodore 64,
man I miss those days

what these eyes did see
how my soul truly desired
you will never know

Pupils dilated
and fixed, apnoeic, pulseless.
Certified stone dead.

(progress note found in medical record of patient awaiting autopsy, converted to haiku by addition of one syllable in last line)

i eat my mistake
my "profiterole lotion"
soothes indigestion

"profiterole lapdance"
is wack*, no doubt about it
but not googlewhack**

*http://www.rapdict.org/terms/w
**http://www.googlewhack.com

tried googlewhacking
my "profiterole lapdance"
exposed its weakness

i have google whacked...
wow, what an intense feeling!
and right at my desk!

oh well, whatever
I swear I don't have a gun
smells like bad haiku

villanelle sex search
gives new meanings to the term
"Googlewhacking it"

a.i.c.: rooster
get born again, over now
...the killer is me

Billie Jean, Brickhouse,
When Doves Cry...call us for these
compilation hits!

do you googlewhack?
love ephemeral pursuits?
elusive concepts?

give me King Missile,
give me The Onion online.
what else do you need?

elements conspire
overcast in New England
where the hell's the snow?

Sad life of ivy
It's exterior robust
Really quite fragile

the government sucks
no wonder we are allies
your government too

take two aspirin
and call me in the morning
fuck that, i'm sick now

I love bad haiku
when there's nothing else to do
(could be lots worse though)

my ivy's dying
now and then it drops a leaf
i have no TV

must go to the store
the food that was in my fridge
it just 'ate' no more

digital watches
worn only by lesbians
and sundry others

Penis breath dojo curse?
I wouldn't know.
I use Certs.

beneath the blankets
winter whispered purity
snow and promises

if the universe
is all male genitalia
i guess we're just nuts

how well would we fare
if we all were on welfare?
ah well...fare thee well

past doesn't exist
it is never even past
past is this moment

Olympics are gone
Unhappy people are mad.
Yea! Controversy!

trying to not be
bitter at 33 is
hard, might as well try

Funky squirrly cat,
where'd you get that orange hat?
Fly through space in that!

What has become my world?
I feel tense and defensive
fundamental change

Bread and Circuses,
The slight-of-hand continues,

however, i will
offfer congratulations
to canadians

there was no point, it's
just bad haiku, I can't take
it seriously.

teasing janis, or
flaming Moxie is the sign
that I'm feeling bored.

The point? There is no
point. I can't believe that you
assumed there was one.