the old queen showed us
the secret to a long life:
vast amounts of dough

a useless meeting
but one thing came out of it:
loads of bad haiku!

Bad Haiku,

the newspapers can
finally drop all the crap
she's in the ground now

I said "no" to sex
and then my hubby became
just another "ex"

just say no to drugs
is about as good advice
as say no to sex

"beware the speedball!"
can you believe they have banned
dodgeball in the schools?????

beware the speedball
end up like john belushi
or river phoenix

yes and I think that
'volumizing hair-spray' says
something important

for ap's next haiku
heroin and cocaine the
cocktail of the stars

*Shakleton*

Shakelton is on
(not that it's all that great) but...
guess I'll watch the rest

candlelight and sex
afterwards this girl does sleep
like a %&*# babe

a syllable short...
i forgot to adjust for
daylight savings time

sedatives and booze:
the sleeping aid preferred by
most dead rock stars

don't forget to pee
daddy's last admonishment
before any trip

i forgot the "p"
told ya i was fuckin' drunk
it's valium, now

*G*

if not Whoopi
possibly some late night host
(maybe John Stewart)

half an hour of
sparkling entertainment
spread over four hours

Oscar at Oscars
"been standing 'round way too long
...every year gets worse."

"i love it because
it's trash" - Oscar the Grouch
he would love this site

Oscar at customs
"I have nothing to declare
except my genius."

we are all in the
gutter, but some of us are
looking at the stars

astronomical
wish upon a falling star
hope that it comes true

next week outta here
Rocky Mountains -- no subway!
(zero wampum left)

rare phenomenon
heavens above I can't wait
wappa falls for me

antihistamines
a slug of chloral hydrate
and a good lie down

mexican downers
benzodiazepinos
you can't stop at juan

Hideous infant,
Cast into this haiku world,
mox who is not mox

i am fuckin' drunk
twenty megs diazeam
to super dreamland

a half hour trip
took an hour and a half...
i got in at 3

puritanical
blue-fingered hands push our clocks
daylight saving(s) time

Veins push from his skin
It was like that when he woke
Greg's weiner is broke

I see you Slater
With your torn jeans and mullet
My Bayside Man-boy

President of ours
You are on the dollar bill
With your ivory teeth.

Samuel Adams
You were a great patriot
now you are a beer.

Hmm, anonymous poet
doesn't bother me anymore...

he left wanking currents
jacking in the wind, his own
anguished cries for tantra

Lynches Law ensures
Death...Moxie

Make hockey a more
Interesting game..change the
Puck

Whom the gods wish to
Destroy, they first make horny,
They then lead them here.

oh... and fuck off moxie

Shadows forever
pursuing shadows, haiku
warrior curmudgeons

Beef jerky, peanut
Butter crackers, and gummy
Bears all together...

Eaten all at once
They taste like a Thai dish named
Sandang Phon .. no guff!

it's like a buffalo
burger, what the hell is this
it's a giant eraser

i gave up tv
when i miss jerry springer
i turn to this site

you're right..talentless
bad haiku as opposed to
what? It's BAD haiku.

fuck off!

the less i visit
the more confused i become
smells like bad karma

fuck off drophammer....
you should talk you shit-for-brains

odd warnings out of
the blue, emotional games
played by those hell bound...

the scatological
language that some use to
fight the good fight, shit...