but congrats to you
as long as its not your floor
brewing is big fun

before pitching yeast
i shook it for aeration
way, way too much air

last night's fiasco:
broken carboy and spilled beer
slippery when wet

if you're gonna flame
you should play some attention
count wasn't the point

organic chemist
quit work for a better job
microbrewmaster

sumptuous repast
delectable favorites
cheeseburger and fries


leave the scraps for birds
they'll take care of everything
except for wrappers

a tale rightly heard
is miracle to rival
a tale rightly told

count this you maroons!
before you know it a line might just creep off the syllable chart
oh my god! what will we do?

been away too long
good to see this is still here
after all these years

baking panty bread
she busies herself scratching
damn, that is frothy

yes, of course, the count
but i would have been remiss
if i'd let it go

Oakland won in ten
Seattle fans left early
And I just big smiled.

Fremont Troll had a
Religious experience
with my little gnome.

Seatown, much coffee
much police, yet where can a
guy get some donuts?

Went to Victoria
It's like in Canada, eh!
Love spending loonies.

Seattle Duck tour
All it is quacked up to be
Worth the extra bills

Knew I would get flamed
For the incorrect grammar
It's the count you know

Markings of insanity
Scars that won't fade
The bed has me captive
There is no point
Bastards in naples yellow

if you say "frisco"
you can't leave fisherman's wharf
i don't make the rules

If you mean this one
Then yes, I know what you mean
by Blemished by sun

OMG!!!! Mario
Sunshine is the shit. I mean,
for real, it's that tight.

Read Barefoot Gen. Then
you will understand the whole
blemished by sun thing.

Afternoon coffee
A rest from the chaos of
Mario Sunshine

Flying to 'frisco
For the Yankee thanksgiving
On Aeroplan miles

Sometimes I feel like
I want to be a member
Of a different club

the blemished by sun
thing was up too long without
a new submission

Blemished by sunlight
and radiation poison,
still won't kill the dog.

kaiser, translated:
"german emperor health plan"
it fails to comfort

undecided course
like a flummoxed kitty-cat
on the mantlepiece

Hans
His soul
Hans-Olo
Leader of the
New Frontier
Fearless
Chief

abundant monkeys
plethora of bananas
equals bad haiku

one would also think
that writing like a monkey
makes no sense at all

Long ten hour shift
Followed by Saturday Shift
I hate part time work.

SuperMicro hate
Has poisoned haiku talent!
...mail them shit in box!

Super-Micro Sucks
Feel the wrath of my hot
Frothy urnine hate!

after a short while
owning a monkey ceases
to be amusing

political power, influence and control
cunt bitch twat slut 'ho
damn that girl is good

Poised with the rock
over the window of her dad's new Suburu
She locked in the keys again

polysyallabic words
come to me too easily
check out my egg-shaped head!

when i had my last
emotional meltdown the
staff gave me some shots

while painting your portrait
i gesture wildly and howl
the canvas is blank

chinese ping pong team
rushing in to rescue me
wearing red sweatsuits

the first girl i fucked
fell off her motorcycle
seven years later

swing away tobey
bash that fucking alien
st~~~~ht up the ol' squash

when i cried at lunch
the other plumbers noticed
and chewed thoughtfully

duh

just don't get burned out
think how your work would suffer
haiku for the team

Merriam-Webster
(no crystal ball needed here)
all can be foreseen

well, quite honestly
(without "this" bad typing boss)
there'd be no haiku

could this be my work,
and fixing bugs, goofing off
while i write haiku?


either way, i'm paid
and quite well per syllable
life is but a dream