Bob liked the long jump
He was the best in college
Then he lost to Geoff

Venus is nasty
If I, say, lived on Venus
I would be poisoned

heavenly divorce
a ring around uranus
but not your finger

I am empowered
by your presence, by your gaze
I can move planets

with sheer force of will
I would change planetary
alignments for you

To suit your fancy
I rearrange the heavens,
anything for you

I would pluck venus
from its eliptical path
'round to us to view

I would bathe your face
in the white light of venus,
just to see your smile

And lo... Ted Roberts
Our Lord and saviour was born
To teach PEF

But then Lucifer
Brought forth media studies
And he was cast down

In the beginning
The Lord made PEF and
Saw that it was good

About a proper poem I wrote
I just wrote a poem
And it didn't take the piss
The first time ever

That's not a haiku
But PEF is damn hard
And I shall not pass

Statistically
Nearly everyone gets 40
And fails PEF

When I am no more
I would like people to say
"He passed PEF"

Paper clips are used
Every day as holding aids
For normal people

I was speaking of
PEF , great thing it is
And not jaffa cakes

we still discussing
PEF? or something else?
just a wayward thought

It is assumptions,
Material balances
Amusing but hard

I've written this before:
P is for process
E stands for engineering
F - fundamentals

A jaffa cake:
A small cake type thing
With orange jelly on top
Covered in chocolate

what's a jaffa cake?
and actually, i've been
curious: what's PEF?

in horrible class
feeling sick; i should not have
bothered to attend

Jaffa cakes are nice
And technically under
UK law are cakes

And I resisted
The temptation to point out
That it's illegal

Needless to say the
Person responsible was
Acting to help out

Paedophilia
I read something two days back
Encouraging it

Tomorrow begins
Every time that our current
Day passes us by

Lots of bubble wrap
Received in the post today
I may play with it

Hast du meinen Hund?
Ja, ich habe deinen Hund
Aber er ist tot

I can't find out now
Some sucka has posted a
Lot of rubbish since

Have I been poked by
A man with a stick before
In an old haiku?

Perfunctorily
Excitable echo ends
Foolish flooding fiend

massive cheekiness
loser idiot spoiler
unresourceful pest

you call it a flood
we call it incontinence
you total wanker

Sure they had no proof -
The fact he owned his own flat
was enough for them

They put him in jail -
because they did not like him -
for about 2 years

Kudos to Janis
For preserving First Amend.
I cherish the site

I wasted a term
Logorrhea misapplied
Flooder's a mere ass.

all those who employ
most vile, technical techniques
spoil the site for all

Flooder must suffer
logorrhea most severe
I hope it's fatal.

Sitting, getting fat,
writing stupid-ass haiku
I'd sure like a life...

I went to the zoo
A man poked me with a stick
That man was a fool

I have been drinking
And as such what I write sucks
Just like when sober

Flood flood flood flood float
Flood flood flood flood flood flood drown
Flood flood flood flood good

I should go to sleep
But I must revise for stuff
Like my PEF

A vote for George is
A vote for corruption and
A useless arsehole

Must attack Iraq
Saddam has got a moustache
Facial hair is bad

Pitiful attempt
Erroneous poet who
Fools none but themselves

As such you are like
Head of Sky Robert Maxwell
A bit of a ****