Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 178 Days and 77086 Haiku later...

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Haiku # 2881, January 12, 2000 4:30 pm ET
by Adam
a sumu breaks wind
it smells like teriyaki
one hot towel to go
Haiku # 2880, January 12, 2000 3:40 pm ET
by Masho-batik of East Flushing
plagiarism sucks
originality rules
win a free mouse pad
Haiku # 2879, January 12, 2000 3:30 pm ET
by Basho--matique
a collision course
two jehovas in the night
an ambulance howls
Haiku # 2878, January 12, 2000 3:23 pm ET
by Banzai Robert
buried time capsule
in one thousand years they''ll find
dirty polaroids
Haiku # 2877, January 12, 2000 9:42 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
bold new marketing
i whisper product slogans
to dying humans
Haiku # 2876, January 12, 2000 9:31 am ET
by Hollywood Bonfire
Condemned to a life
Of ceaseless toilet bobbing.
So: Fuck the cistern!
Haiku # 2875, January 12, 2000 7:09 am ET
by Floatation Device
I deeply regret
regretting.When you jog through
raspberries you bleed.
Haiku # 2874, January 11, 2000 6:05 pm ET
by Banzai Bob
A real yen for you
my darling Tokyo Rose
won''t ya please shut up?
Haiku # 2873, January 11, 2000 5:57 pm ET
by Basho-matique
Kat and I are friends.
Bob Dylan kicks ass, and you
misunderstand us.
Haiku # 2872, January 11, 2000 4:21 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Nine years old. I scream.
Mother says, "It''s okay, dear"
But I know it''s not.
Haiku # 2871, January 11, 2000 4:12 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Yesterday I saw
Bob Dylan, Kat Krotch and Kim
Toking on some ganjj
Haiku # 2870, January 11, 2000 3:24 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
There''s nervous tension
Just after we fuck madly
And I think of home
Haiku # 2869, January 11, 2000 3:14 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
New Year. The World turns.
I wonder how it happens.
Chinese Army farts?
Haiku # 2868, January 11, 2000 8:38 am ET
by Floatation Device
Pull the stick out of
your ass, and I`ll shut up. Why
don''t you try it once?
Haiku # 2867, January 10, 2000 9:34 pm ET
by Kat Krotch of To Kimberly, In hopes she will quit depressing me.
You insensitive
bastard, why am I still your
friend? You disturb me.
Haiku # 2866, January 10, 2000 9:30 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell of To Kat Krotch, In hopes he will change.
Savagely ravished
by dreams that leave me sweating
with passionate hope.
Haiku # 2865, January 10, 2000 9:26 pm ET
by Kat Krotch of Uranus, Assland
Movie on World War
Two: we "delivered" bombs to
Germany. We Did?
Haiku # 2864, January 10, 2000 9:25 pm ET
by Kat Krotch of Uranus, Assland
Kimberly, you need
to lighten up just a bit.
You''re depressing me.
Haiku # 2863, January 10, 2000 9:18 pm ET
by Kat Krotch of Uranus, Assland
Leather restraints on
wrists and ankles. Hold me down
and paddle my ass.
Haiku # 2862, January 10, 2000 9:16 pm ET
by Kat Krotch of Uranus, Assland
I will close my eyes
and make a conscious effort
not to open them.

I will count to ten.
Ready or not, here I am.
I am not ready.

I will thrust a knife
deep into the center of
all that is painful.

Will someone miss me
Haiku # 2861, January 10, 2000 8:58 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
How to start: should I
cut off my ear, following
the greatest artist?

Should I marvel at
my imperfect fit within
the laws of this age?
Haiku # 2860, January 10, 2000 8:43 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
global warming, nay
tis just my tropic zone shift-
ing right off the chart.
Haiku # 2859, January 10, 2000 7:55 pm ET
by Banzai Bob
We are all LLamas
Frozen in our green oneness
we will rule the world
Haiku # 2858, January 10, 2000 12:54 pm ET
by CDOGG
pareme is Greek
for ''take me'', but your brain
reminds of moussaka.
Haiku # 2857, January 10, 2000 11:07 am ET
by whoever
life oh so precious
cannot think of enough ways
of how to waste it
Haiku # 2856, January 10, 2000 8:32 am ET
by whoever
A record 3 days
Without sunlight or fresh air.
My brain is melting.
Haiku # 2855, January 9, 2000 7:58 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Sneak over the fence
To the military base
Where they breed boybands.
Haiku # 2854, January 9, 2000 4:15 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Sparklers lit on hobs,
The distant boom of gunfire.
Must be Y2K.
Haiku # 2853, January 9, 2000 4:09 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Sometimes I ponder
The origins of ''pussy'';
Did someone`s miaow..?
Haiku # 2852, January 9, 2000 4:06 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Sheathed rod of graphite
Wrestling in my fingers
Oh look, a stick man
Haiku # 2851, January 8, 2000 9:36 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
I''d be happier
If I had metal bat wings
For carrying fruit
Haiku # 2850, January 8, 2000 9:35 am ET
by Kenneth Extension
I just got back from
The Dark Side of the Rainbow
It made my knees weak
Haiku # 2849, January 8, 2000 6:09 am ET
by Dorothy
Riding a Twister
Is the Great Gig in the Sky
I said to Toto
Haiku # 2848, January 8, 2000 6:06 am ET
by Dorothy
enough already
I prefer John Paul Sartre
to premenstrual cramps
Haiku # 2847, January 7, 2000 7:40 pm ET
by Basho-matique
it''s our own damn fault
our little secret now sneaks
out to raise eyebrows
Haiku # 2846, January 7, 2000 7:35 pm ET
by Banzai Bob
despair is one thing
an avalanche of hallmark
cards is another
Haiku # 2845, January 7, 2000 7:18 pm ET
by Banzai Bob
critiqueing your work
labyrinths of self pity
i must shred it now
Haiku # 2844, January 7, 2000 7:08 pm ET
by Banzai Bob
a moment with you
caused great pain to emanate
from my ravaged soul
Haiku # 2843, January 7, 2000 6:54 pm ET
by Banzai Bob
Bukowski with Y?
a quarter million dollars?
i''m gonna vomit
Haiku # 2841, January 7, 2000 2:07 pm ET
by oldnasty
lonely famous slut
feeling way too enlightened
selling lame stanzas
Haiku # 2840, January 7, 2000 2:05 pm ET
by oldnasty
here are a few lines
"young girls wrap themselves tightly"
"they suck on coffee"
Haiku # 2839, January 7, 2000 2:00 pm ET
by oldnasty
Were they your fingers?
Or ones you simply ripped from
Unsuspecting hands?
Haiku # 2837, January 6, 2000 6:09 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
adolescent angst
erupting from poetry
like pus from a zit
Haiku # 2836, January 6, 2000 5:35 am ET
by ash
the meaning of life
found in my umbilicus
snuggled in the lint
Haiku # 2835, January 6, 2000 5:23 am ET
by ash
I wish you wouldn''t
talk at all. You could never
hurt me with closed lips.
Haiku # 2834, January 5, 2000 9:54 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
The snail sews her eyes
closed with a silver needle,
retreating inward.
Haiku # 2833, January 5, 2000 9:52 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Does anyone know
where I could get some bootlegged
Bob Dyllan music?
Haiku # 2832, January 5, 2000 9:50 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Candles up my ass,
fingers in my wet pussy,
I will masturbate.
Haiku # 2831, January 5, 2000 9:18 pm ET
by Kat Krotch
screening my options
focussing on the new year
poor resolution
Haiku # 2830, January 5, 2000 8:20 pm ET
by ash
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