haven't you guys heard
bigotry's now in fashion
it's the next big thing

Israel* learned from that
In order to have a country
You must be fascist

dead on arrival
that seems to encapsulate
my entire life

worthless physicists
the grand unification
they need to get laid

the final two weeks
some textbook debauchery
after that, the void

in history class
i got yelled at for laughing
during schindler's list

we was wigglin'
bellies full of spumanti
she tastes italian

that wind from the south
so strong it blew me off course
and another thing

I hate these damn spots
old people have them not ME
grandma has a cock

irradiated
asleep on the monitor
catching cathode rays

The blades scythes through the
long grass like a hot knife through
barbed wire, man its hard

Trouble is they are
unsophisticated guys
In ways of the West.
uneducated
Their parents came from poor
insular backgrounds
To be suddenly
exposed to such freedom and
high stimulation
Is just too much for
Them on this first western
young generation

Know lots of Muslims
Who abhor this fanatism
Kind gentle people

Do you notice these
bastard mullers send others
never go themselves?

Why would kid fifteen
years out of nappies Blow him-
self and others up

Fundamentalist
On page one, its only a
mater of time bomb

Be gentle with the
ham Mellie it will respond
to a soft touch

was up all night now
slappin' ham on me sammich
wild westerly wind

I am a gay horse
Colostemy bags await
How embarassing

Time to go running
Blisters and sweat await me
New running shoes suck

Trying to square the
Circle I was taught to be
cautious on the square

My boss treats my like
a mushroom, keeps me in the
dark, feeds me bull shit

Trees fall in the woods
The sound of one-hand clapping
I hate that bull crap

I check my wallet
A hooker now approaches
Time to spend some cash

A tidal wave comes
In the distance Mt. Fuji
Bad Haiku's background

Haiku bring laughter
Sexually Frustrated
I dig your haiku

grows weed in his fridge
absolutely ingenious
good quality too

STDs are cool
swelling red lumps on my cock
the price of pimping

i don't wear condoms
because i'm a catholic
i hope i get aids

beautiful headache
i am actually relieved
i don't have to think

here is a warning
if i got herpes from you
i'll cut off your tits

get out of my bed
you took advantage of me
i have tought you well

brutal hangover
after that much alcohol
shouldn't i be dead

twelves shots of yager
i wake up naked in bed
where the hell am i

The cave of darkness
The sun will never shine here
A good place to crap

moon's been up all night
the sun's rising in the east
where else could it rise?

eerie still dawning
flat silver grey ocean waits
quietly for blue

silver moonlight gone
streaks of light on horizon
running feet slap sand

a dozen oysters
consumed with tobasco sauce
every one a hit

A bell sounds my dog
Salivates. Here

Out of sight, out of
Mind, translates. Invisible
Idiot, how true!

Its an out of mind
and body experience,
so nobody minds

Birthdays are good for
You, because the more you have
the longer you live

The line is thread-like
between the boat and the shore
winds blow out to sea

They tell me if I
could extract the gold from sea
water I

Who the hell likes raw
Oysters, tastes like gritty sea
Water, no thank you

Cooking Chinese food
First thing in the morning its
bit too rich for me

Fresh coffee just made
God it tastes good, my wake up.
Ready for the day

Interesting! Grass
bends with the wind right to left
Clouds blown left to right

Twenty billion fly

The stars, so distant
Time and space lie between us
Star Trek is for dorks

Anti-semitic?
You are one hateful little
White trash scumbag fool

Thoughts that can change life
Truth told by wise men of old
I like big booties