Snail inches along.
The razor blade splits it in half.
Two squishy pieces.

Smelly cockroach, pain.
Unlighted box confines me.
Nine years now. You well?

What a cake job, eh?
UPS parcel driver
Big truck, fun, hot chicks

Furry pet's teeth
Sharp. Make oral sex difficult,
and bloody affair

Hello dear spam bot
I love how you waste my time
But you make me write

Monty Python is
to 'funny' what accountant's
are to 'boring' blokes

Big thick bettz, one thick bettle
hei bettz, where u gonna
with zeth big goon in ya hand

Super heroes die,
but their memories live on...
bad is good, baby!

Talking on the sidewalk with a woman
PT Cruiser passing by
Three men laughing inside
---
A gust of windshield antifreeze
catches my eyes
Ruining my mood for the evening
---
I don't know if Mr.Bush knows
Why I was sent to Belgrade (Iraq)
To suffer this Serbian terror
---
some % of Serbs
What they have against me an't sure
But sure as hell, they "know" me
---
Fuck you too
And hope you rot in hell
Whoever set me with this bloody trap
---
A day will come
Hope you will get yours, yours, yours...
And you will get it Bastards

A long, tall fence: a
blunt approach to a problem
multifarious.

eliminate the
impossible, whatever
remains must be truth


- inspired by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (May 22, 1859)

Found Haiku no. 1 = Donald Rumsfeld

"It is easier
to get into something than
to get out of it."

We could fight about
agreeing to disagree
Or not. Whatever

The poet's two friends.
His readers and his critics
Not in that order

You need just two skills
First love, then literacy
Then numeracy

I write a satire
it's about a parody
about irony

Last caller's number
I could call start sixty nine
or the NSA

Barbara Tuchman wrote
Wars are the unfolding of
Miscalculations

Complicated Burps
Must be G W Bush
Come clean and admit

Dumb chinese spam bot
Your pesky non-haiku prose
Is fun to replace

twenty-four inch screen
i can see more than before
shame about my eyes

I'm so impressive:
I can burp my A-B-C's.
I rule this planet!

Devoid of T.P.
Used the cardboard cylinder
Anal chafing sucks

the beach or the beach ?
easy... i'm already there
life's a holiday

So, Gaza, Darfur
Paris? You know, it's a pain
Vacation planning

Watch. I learned this trick
I just....oh damn!...just pretend
that didn't happen

All librarians
They hate the books - and they love?
Every index card

southern hemisphere
where our light comes from the north
or i bend over

Power to punish
Power to cure, educate
Pretty much the same

Sure, you try to put
wings on a pig - it doesn't
make it an eagle

False friends - like ivy
They both decay and ruin
the walls they embrace

My southern neighbours
They build way too many walls
Not enough bridges

Relaxation haiku


Reading Nipresses

Did you like the word?
I tried for double meaning
Lies, clever I thought

Pink cherry blossom
Falling like candyfloss snow
Lies thick on the ground

Photojournalists,
'Neath guise of civic service,
Are pornographers.

Put a stink up his ass, say it's "political"
When you dislike what you hear
Don't forget to label it "rant"

Pete did not voice his
Simpson's character. Pete had
brother Paul do it.


-- Happy Birthday to Pete Townshend (5/19/1945)

Japanese donation, yellow bus No. 26
Driver put on a heat
Underneath my seat
---
Scorching my balls
I don't know if Mr.Bush knows
Why I was sent to Belgrade (Iraq)
---
To suffer this Serbian terror
some % of Serbs
What they have against me an't sure
---
But sure as hell, they "know" me
Fuck you too
And hope you rot in hell
---
Whoever set me with this bloody game
Hope you get yours, yours, yours...
And you will get it Bastards

"Christian Athletes",
and "Lutheran Investors, ...
Self-segregation.

Political rants
In random paragraph form
Will be deleted

Please say it ain't so.
American Idol rigged?
Well, of course it is.

Spoon in the pudding
Iconoclast blog writers
Get their just deserts

Hold me close to you
Pretend you like me she said
God but I want you!
-
That

Rocket Man
Written by Bernie Taupin
Haikued by Crimson Mind


Packed my bags, pre-flight
Zero-hour, nine A.M.
I'm high as a kite


Miss the earth, my wife
It's lonely out here in space
Such a timeless flight


I think it's gonna
be a long-long time until
touch down bring me back


I'm not the man they
think I am at home, oh no
I'm a Rocket Man


Burning out his fuse
out here all alone, oh no
I'm a Rocket Man


Mars ain't the kind of
place to raise your kids; in fact
it is cold as hell


And there is no one
there to raise them if you did
oh no no no no


And all this science
I don't understand; Just my
job, five days a week


I'm a Rocket man
And I think its gonna be
such a long-long time...


-- inspired by William Shatner's dramatic reading
of Rocket Man at the 1978 Sci-Fi film awards

FOX correspondent
As new Press Secretary?
Prepare for SnowJob.

Random thoughts combine.
Driving is a good time to
think of haiku. Ding!

Those famous first words:
"Watson, come here, I want you!"
Double entendre.

You have to eat it
Not insert it up your arse
Some people are fruits

Replacement haiku
An ode to pesky robots
Makes unicorns fly