If it does one thing
It gets me to write bundles
Of bad haiku verse

Buffalo is out
of the NHL playoffs
Lets go Hurricanes!

Wind in the summer
I like it much better than
Wind in the winter

All I have to say
Is oh my god, I have lots
of verse to replace

Big event coming
Going to be hilarious
"Enough is enough"

Party on the beach
Memories of trip to Texas
Just came back to me

Spider plant runners
Reaching out from the plant base
and into my heart

Another one bites
the dust. Coffee Crisp advert
ruined the Queen song

Viewed South Park reruns
Played the "brown note" on tuba
Whole audience shat

The blistering heat
Gives way to some thunderstorms
Calm after the storm

High School Reunion
Thirty years. I haven't changed.
What happened to you?

must go to the sea
all i ask is a tall ship
and star to steer by

- inspired by John Masefield (1818-1967)

I like it more too
much better than than the old poo
which I didn't like

the great wave
deposits a snail
atop mt fuji

The new page format
makes me feel tingly inside,
new, fresh, blue Haiku

Exactly, it's like
the old one but more true to
the orginal

part of the new wave
it's just the old wave in blue
but so much better

Delayed reactions
The province of a drunkard
Many signposts missed

Loving/hating sports
teams? Live vicariously?
Must get a full life.

Just another test
Once again in haiku form
Just another test

This is just a test
In haiku form nonetheless
This is just a test

fame of infamy
another one bites the dust
mediocrity

things were diff'rent then
i used to be more normal
or less abnormal

retrospectively
i used to be lots of things
and i still will be

Entitled -- Alliteration:
Titillating tales
Trigger turgid tumescence.
Toss! Tautology!

A super hot day
Full of all work and no play
At the end of May

The damned TTC
On wildcat strike this morning
Fucks up commute

Strawberries forming
Emerging from white flowers
Hardly noteworthy

cymbal strike curtailed,
or, glass broken for diamonds
each a crash and grab

Cruciverbalist:
One who drafts crossword puzzles.
Who doth give a shit?

Search function reveals
No prior "calamity."
Enhanced lexicon

Yours an ass so wide
The toilet seat up or down
Makes no difference

Horrid reflection
Sheer abandonment of hope
An IHOP breakfast

Morbid fantasy
Rampant exsanguination
Flood of corpuscles

Alternative rock?
Some independent labels?
Either good or bad.

Missle silo day
Rusty hulk of instant death.
Signed the guestbook.

We should imprison
All who lie about their age.
Screw chronology.

We danced with new moves
Tango with Lorna last night
Instructor told me

Hold her close to you
Could feel her body held close
How I wanted her

indiscriminate
astronomy makes me small
it makes you small too

who are these children
my music collection asks
who scheme and run wild

i'm indecisive
i like to ponder a lot
when time allows me

Frogger is a game
Not a guide to crossing streets
We found out in Seoul.

Morning on the range.
Scorpion waits in my boot.
Tastes good with coffee.

I knock up your wife,
leaving you to raise my spawn.
Think hard - Who I am?

Blistering hot sun
Sweat on my brow, working hard
to figure out cows

Ostrich ranch wrangler,
realize your dreams, don't let
the Man keep you down

Guns, food, and water.
Plenty of ammo, radio.
Porn and vaseline.

Sole fate you offer:
a soft tongue bath for my balls
nice offer, no thanks

Frank Zappa wrote this
Chunga

Zappa was right, from
heavenly bank account to
you are what you is

lest ye want to meet your fate
you silly anteating slut
don't talk now