i am above you
but i might be below you
wherever i am

I know little
Of your lives - filtered as they
Are through bad haiku.

Who are you? Where? Why?
Serbo-Croats, Canadians
and sundry others.

Please tell me about
Yourselves through bad haiku.
I am curious.

I am Phlegmy - I
Expectorate. Now your
Turn: 5 - 7 - 5.

That's how much you get
To tell me who you are, your
Essence, etc.

Deep very deep man
Hammers and hairs scary man
You use nail polish?

Deep very deep man
Hammers and hairs scary man
You use nail polish?

the wind blows my hair
my hair begins to give up
now my head is clear

pull out my hammer
sharpen those iron nails
deliver them home

I un-screw the top
and stick my hands together
now I cannot clap

random thoughts persist
though i have nothing to say
you aren't listening

Stupidity falls.
Joy burns but wonder returns.
Spring splashes angels.

"What happens to the..."

SHITTING OUR PANTS
BEFORE THE AMERICAN MIGHT
THE SERBIAN SHITHEADS
***
WE STOP AND SPLIT THE BUCK
OUR PROTECTED ASSES
WE DON'T GIVE A JOB!

Whose dogs are attacking
Belgrade, Serbia
American or local patriots'

Her lips on my dick
Ejaculate in her mouth
She gives good Blowjobs

silent "c" in rap
whack you with a haiku slap
don't you write such pap

My favourite foods:
Jam, cottage cheese, and herring
(Not at the same time).

It's Canada Day
Stupid nationalism
Is a waste of time

F-u M. Fish and your masters
You've done it on purpose
I lost my f-bet bitch

time I do not have!
I give mine to others free
but get little back

lacking coherence
random thoughts accumulate
miscellaneous

The smooth armies talk.
Sheep break however hell walks.
Apples kiss midday.

we have time machines
memories take us backward
dreams take us forward

So off we all go
I'll make em scream; meanwhile all
you clowns do is dream

Girlies all smilin
and out of breath; squeezin their
tender, ample breasts

They're so ready
for what comes next; they all know
that it's rated X

Wastin no timin
I start to rhymin; girlies'
hips: bumpin, grindin

So I give each one
some taste of funky; while you
clowns spank your monkey

Girlies start pumping
their hips so curvy, waitin
for my funky verve

Sayin' 'hi Daddy'
we wanna thrill, let us see
your rhymin white grill

So smile I do, natch
lookin at the wet spot from
their little snatches

Haiku in your face
is back in town, so girlies
get set to get down

Girlies get so tired
hearin these other Haiku clowns
howl like Basset Hounds

Squealin with sheer glee
when they see me; cuz they know
I'll make you clowns flee

darling adelaide
sweet embrace of younger days
lofty ambition

the smart, funny, rich
beautiful girl of your dreams
Is surely taken

Sudoku today,
Is just digits in boxes,
A little bit rude.

eyes like blue headlights
hair cartoon firecracker red
with lips like Jolie

*****
legs that just won't quit
quality, natural breasts
firm, subtle round ass

*****

look of innocence
sexy, passionate and wild
intelligent too

*****

the girl of my dreams
smart, funny, rich, beautiful
too much to ask for?

The bouncy bellies probe.
Moans tightly drink the shudders.
Bouncy shudders undress.

poems to live,buy
chance of a lifetime,great price
by one gets one free

I know the feeling
Only self amusement here
And aggrandizement

as hard as I try
my haiku still aren't funny
story of my life

Captured crapulence
With rapturous aperture
Jap apparatus

in over your head
i don't think it is funny
but i don't get it

How do we tell! said
A curious postulate
That we had sex twice
-
Twice? Said her colleague
Well yes, she said. Don

Put up the good fight.
Fought hard. Was in it right up
to the beginning.

Perhaps with new look
I resemble hamster some
What: I may mate yet.

Some mammals have luck
Hamsters mate twice every year
The Lucky bastards

Paddle hard Yoshie
The wave is nearly on us
Dam Japanese print

Just realised: No
Sex for two months. Am fully
re-virginising.

What is this sex thing?
I forget. May start growing
Hair on palms of hands.

To accessorise:
A glassy stare, over-sweat,
And a feral stench.

May also adopt
Curious gait and a drool.
There is not a hope.

Ok, must be words
Pity as it can kill thought
I suppose its me?

Will not let me paste
Tried typing but not working
Must think I

I break humerus,
Wisdom teeth emerge; haiku
And codeine numbs pain.

Me write haiku.
Me write haiku all day long,
make me happy boy.

A prolapsed rectum
Among your ailment spectrum
Anal bliss, then woe

The Summer Solstice
The longest day of the year
But how wide is it?

If your firewall
Blocks your referer header
You are not human

:-)

Ah-ha. The answer
To my problem lies within
My firewall software.

I write the haiku.
Site objects, apparantly
I'm a horrid bot.

Looking for a mate
With a soft kiss on my lips
and love in my heart
-
Bulge in my trousers
Lets them know I

starry starry night
paint your palette blue and grey
close, but no haiku