Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 201 Days and 77120 Haiku later...

think about it, this
place beats twitter, short context
more real substance and...

less characters! (most of the time)
Haiku # 49616, May 3, 2013 5:05 am ET
by vhs of I still love janis joplin and sylvia plath
and boy oh boy how
I am hankering for some
hot thai noodles now
Haiku # 49615, May 3, 2013 5:03 am ET
by vhs
as for that "woumb woumb"
is the old vhs broke
eating the casette
Haiku # 49614, May 3, 2013 5:02 am ET
by vhs of haven't killed myself and vow not to
damn it, if you hit
me on the head again to
"get me to run right"

I will tear up your
last copy of that art film
you will hear "woumb woumb"

just as kung pow is
about to beat karate
cow with a good move!
Haiku # 49613, May 3, 2013 5:01 am ET
by vhs of we will never surrender
security code
'twas "favourably onhook"
if only, mon frere
Haiku # 49612, May 2, 2013 11:25 pm ET
by Lush
as for ash, I vow
having lost beloved thrice
chin up, soul forward
Haiku # 49611, May 2, 2013 11:21 pm ET
by Lush
those under twenty
we can safely disregard
for they know nothing
Haiku # 49610, May 2, 2013 11:19 pm ET
by Lush
i'm under thirty
I, like, know everything ya'll
EVERYTHING is modern
Haiku # 49609, May 2, 2013 11:15 pm ET
by Lush
multi stanza'd pomes
defeat the purpose haiku
distill your notions
Haiku # 49608, May 2, 2013 11:13 pm ET
by Lush
newcomers galore
the interweb is replete
oldtimers beware
Haiku # 49607, May 2, 2013 11:12 pm ET
by Lush
pedestrians, ho!
vhs off rails again
upgrade to blu-ray
Haiku # 49606, May 2, 2013 11:10 pm ET
by Lush
damn it greedo, why
do you get the nonsense words
I didn't think of!!!!!!!
Haiku # 49605, May 2, 2013 10:45 pm ET
by vhs
especially the nurse
in latex outfits and I
think she'll see you now?
Haiku # 49604, May 2, 2013 10:44 pm ET
by vhs
humperuficus.
unambiguality.
fapfapfapfapfap.
Haiku # 49603, May 2, 2013 5:28 pm ET
by evi1 of Tatooine Tatoo Parlour
Click on the hot link!
You can buy cheap viagra!
And stay hard all night!

"See a doctor if
your huge erection lasts for
more than 3 hours."

No, I don't think so!
I would rather see the nurse.
Grin, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Haiku # 49602, May 2, 2013 12:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
you burnt so brightly
yesterday incandescence
leaving today's butt
Haiku # 49601, May 2, 2013 3:14 am ET
by ash
so what tickles your
fancy then eh? party on
wayne? we're not worthy?
Haiku # 49599, May 2, 2013 1:41 am ET
by vhs
this "boring" is what
some people want at some time
in their lives, "boring"

my irish rear end
Haiku # 49598, May 2, 2013 1:40 am ET
by vhs
the world keeps turning
yet even while the sun shines
it's dark in my heart
Haiku # 49597, May 1, 2013 7:32 pm ET
by ash
Oh, I mean, puh-leez!
This is just the internet.
Nothing here transcends.

I would rather be
surfing waves on an tropic
island paradise.

The universe was
made so that I could party.
Poetry is dull.

Poems attempt to
fill a gap like throwing sand
in the Grand Canyon.

The gap is not filled.
You will never be happy.
Words are just useless.
Haiku # 49596, May 1, 2013 2:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I want to write words
poetry, transcendant that
sort of thing really...
Haiku # 49595, May 1, 2013 1:05 pm ET
by vhs
I'm not kidding how
I feel, what I want is real
I feel I need out

I need to be free
so I can no longer post here
and leave this all behind
Haiku # 49594, May 1, 2013 1:04 pm ET
by vhs
Silly vhs
anything here is a joke
there are no death threats.

I am the owner
of a nuclear warhead.
No, really, it's true!

You see what I mean?
This is just silly nonsense.
And I eat boogers.
Haiku # 49593, May 1, 2013 12:57 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
to be honest I
don't care if I live or die
the old I should have

been a contender
but I don't care how permanent
this writing is now

how embarassing it is
I am not permanent even if
this record of how I felt is
Haiku # 49592, May 1, 2013 12:32 pm ET
by vhs
truth is I'm just pissed
and would rather go poof
than waste my time with

"the alpha male" whom
to me is an inferior
species altogether
Haiku # 49591, May 1, 2013 12:00 pm ET
by vhs
we know that guy was
an extrovert and extros
are worth exterminating

if you want the reward
"alpha male" we will give you
a proper burial

when you go off for
us introverts to die in a foreign
war we will be happy

to send you for a cause
cause you follow whatever
lie we make up for you
Haiku # 49590, May 1, 2013 11:56 am ET
by vhs
isn't this so old school
some stranger posts some stuff and
I responded! how quaint.
Haiku # 49588, May 1, 2013 1:56 am ET
by vhs
a drunk guy once tapped
the back of my car, I stopped
to confront the man

he said "HEY LOOK AT
THIS GUY!" I would have thrown him
off into the pavement

thank God I walked away
Haiku # 49587, May 1, 2013 1:53 am ET
by vhs
and like the ronin
when our time comes to die then
we die with honor

are you as prepared
to face your own Maker when
His voice calls you home?
Haiku # 49586, May 1, 2013 1:49 am ET
by vhs of yes, I'm a christian
the chatroom troll they
sometimes grow up, and see their
real value in life
Haiku # 49585, May 1, 2013 1:48 am ET
by vhs
it makes me wonder
are you for real or just trying to
get my goat, get me

posting to get me going
get me in trouble, it would
be just as easy

to say forget this
place and you can have your little
sad angry ranting

but as far as I can
tell this place has come a long long
way from whence it was
Haiku # 49584, May 1, 2013 1:47 am ET
by vhs
dude, I don't know what
your problem is, but it's to
write haiku, not

hints of death threats
Haiku # 49583, May 1, 2013 1:45 am ET
by vhs
Those who put once-worn
panties in vending machines
also made haiku.

Those silly Nippers,
they will even eat raw fish
until they vomit.

I would be happy
if I were a Samurai
chopping off your head.
Haiku # 49582, April 30, 2013 11:49 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Nowhere Special.
more like skeeter works
on his yard work and likes the
blue sky outside though

the blueberry rakes
are often held by Juan than
Joe, and life goes on
Haiku # 49581, April 30, 2013 11:48 am ET
by vhs
Skeeter humps chickens
all night long in the barn yard.
His momma don't mind.
Haiku # 49580, April 30, 2013 2:12 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of I don't know
I've noticed that the
margaritta is the name
of a drink, and woman

(I am sure I will be corrected over the spelling of the name)
Haiku # 49579, April 29, 2013 1:30 pm ET
by vhs
Free Whataburger
Willpower all depleted
Joyful gluttony
Haiku # 49578, April 29, 2013 12:28 pm ET
by Bob Jones, Esq. of El Armpito, TX
I drank four loco
and I just had to try it
the cheap booze gimmick
Haiku # 49577, April 29, 2013 2:19 am ET
by vhs
"manscaping" inane
my pelvic region untamed
Hey, Mr. Kotter?
Haiku # 49575, April 28, 2013 1:23 am ET
by Lush
I am the I am.
Seek and find Me within you.
You will be complete.
Haiku # 49574, April 27, 2013 11:29 pm ET
by evi1 coffee god of Harvard University school of Animal Husbandry
pass me the bottle
hopefully NOT over the
head, and pour me one
Haiku # 49572, April 27, 2013 12:03 am ET
by VHS
my job is to live
my family the muses
I shall ramble on
Haiku # 49571, April 26, 2013 6:58 pm ET
by Lush
sanctimonious
purveyor most prosaic
bully for anon.
Haiku # 49570, April 26, 2013 6:56 pm ET
by Lush
if I hear one more
philosopher saying time
does not exist...then

off to the hockey
penalty box with that cat
and now the last line
Haiku # 49569, April 26, 2013 12:27 pm ET
by vhs
the news we don't hear
is the good news of the day
come spring tomorrow
Haiku # 49568, April 26, 2013 12:22 pm ET
by vhs
there's moments in life
where it's all numbers and a
economic case
Haiku # 49567, April 26, 2013 12:18 pm ET
by vhs
well lush, whilst i try
and solve job issues and fam
issues ramble on
Haiku # 49566, April 26, 2013 12:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
pharmacy window
ajar and glowing neon
boundless repertoire
Haiku # 49565, April 25, 2013 10:41 pm ET
by Lush
a leaf in stasis
shall I turn it right over?
after one last binge
Haiku # 49564, April 25, 2013 10:37 pm ET
by Lush
undeserved health
engenders survivor guilt
demented am I
Haiku # 49563, April 25, 2013 10:36 pm ET
by Lush
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