Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 187 Days and 77101 Haiku later...

I don't want to jump
off a bridge because I want
to cause some closure...
Haiku # 49862, July 20, 2013 1:19 pm ET
by vhs
I want to jump off.
A cliff, a building, the world.
Life is now empty.
Haiku # 49861, July 20, 2013 2:17 am ET
by Perverted Poetry
It's so hot today
I think I'll crawl inside the
refrigerator
Haiku # 49860, July 19, 2013 6:36 am ET
by phil of exeter, UK
a while passes then
the traditional form looks
all the more pleasing
Haiku # 49859, July 17, 2013 10:16 am ET
by vhs
response, stimulus
response, stimulus hmm you
stimulus package

huh huh, he said stimulus...

he said package, heh heh
Haiku # 49858, July 17, 2013 1:20 am ET
by vhs
Lance has ants in his pants
that make him take a chance and prance and dance all the way to France in his underpants. If you by happenstance get a glance it will put you in a trance.
Haiku # 49857, July 16, 2013 6:48 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of ngsgoth senses
hmm if the nudies
are sleezy then isn't
that lunch naked too?
Haiku # 49856, July 15, 2013 11:39 am ET
by vhs
A burger and fries
at a sleezy nudie bar.
It's my naked lunch.
Haiku # 49855, July 15, 2013 6:32 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of semytiro monium
well what about the black
meat of the aquatic what
is it centipede?

the people puke and
eat and puke again,the whole
bill burroughs tainted

cheese thing, but I mean
what kind of wine goes with that
sort of naked lunch?
Haiku # 49854, July 14, 2013 10:12 pm ET
by vhs
Acetylene Flowers
I can no longer live the lies you
Haiku # 49853, July 14, 2013 7:11 pm ET
by Dr Retrospectacle.
Skull-fuck the chicken
Fun the mental cyst has ate her snatch
it's weird good meat, sir. ;-)
Haiku # 49852, July 14, 2013 7:03 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker. of necessary ibiliann
well fuck, the christian
fundamentalist has met his match
in weird, good meet sir
Haiku # 49851, July 14, 2013 12:41 pm ET
by vhs
"I'm a mog. Part man,
part dog -- I'm my own best friend."
--John Candy as Barf
Haiku # 49850, July 14, 2013 4:14 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of 621 akersouc
She was a magnetic pole dancer,
and he was a physicist from Berkeley.
They met at the last legal rooster fight in Oklahoma.
They have 4.3 children thanks to his job at the nuclear reactor research laboratory studying flavor enhancers for Skoal.
One of their children write haiku, but this is not one.

Memorial oookma

Fuck, I hate captchas!
Like Memorial oookma.
oookma's not a word!
Haiku # 49849, July 14, 2013 4:09 am ET
by Darth Figpucker, yet again
in other words the schwartz
was used with great effect
and all quite too often
Haiku # 49848, July 13, 2013 12:19 pm ET
by vhs
My Master named me
Darth Figpucker, the Highly
Inappropriate.
Haiku # 49847, July 13, 2013 8:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Limericks are fun.
Haiku are too short for me.
Too few of them rhyme.

There was a rich old man from nantucket...
He very loudly one day kicked the bucket.
He died screaming in bed
while his pretty young nurse was giving him...
his dinner.
And if you die like that, you're a winner.
Haiku # 49846, July 13, 2013 7:56 am ET
by Darth Figpucker.
improvisation
is the way to get your soul
to hang with your heart
Haiku # 49845, July 13, 2013 12:26 am ET
by zyga zint of here, now
I see the big wave.
All I want to do is ride.
To the stars and back.
Haiku # 49844, July 12, 2013 6:39 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Darth Figpucker
It could be a whine
Whether or not I feel fine
Snickers to you Blue
Haiku # 49843, July 11, 2013 6:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'll write what I write
if you like it or not, call
it tripe or shit...

it's mine
Haiku # 49842, July 11, 2013 1:16 am ET
by vhs
Pulling diaper tabs
Hoping for the best my love
Mudslide triggers rebirth
Haiku # 49841, July 10, 2013 4:27 pm ET
by toddburke of Monrovia, CA USA
in recline with wine
plotting lurid crimes of mind
ineffectual
Haiku # 49840, July 9, 2013 3:30 am ET
by Lush
and then a lame one
standards met without acclaim
a silent triumph
Haiku # 49839, July 9, 2013 3:23 am ET
by Lush
a collective gripe
against hollow, timid tripe
this my site of might
Haiku # 49838, July 9, 2013 3:21 am ET
by Lush
and it is so on
my end of things, summer heat
winter comes, snow

can't win can we oh
canada to new england
too much snow or heat
Haiku # 49837, July 7, 2013 11:03 pm ET
by vhs
the humidity
is oozing its way inside
my bedroom window
Haiku # 49836, July 7, 2013 9:33 pm ET
by C. Lacey of Toronto
then again between films
with zombies and villians turned
good, what are the trends?
Haiku # 49835, July 7, 2013 5:28 pm ET
by vhs
of course there's those you
call your friends and they just may
be that central weight

gives life that meaning
Haiku # 49834, July 7, 2013 5:27 pm ET
by vhs
nothing stays the same
tenuous realities
uncertain futures
Haiku # 49833, July 6, 2013 7:56 pm ET
by ash
how to reconcile
many strive, others revile
i'll just wait awhile
Haiku # 49832, July 3, 2013 1:19 am ET
by Lush
boredom mutilates
alcohol and congealed fats
ruin the remains
Haiku # 49831, July 3, 2013 12:57 am ET
by Lush
fried prawns and foie gras
t. soprano ducked bullets
these took him downtown
Haiku # 49830, July 3, 2013 12:52 am ET
by Lush
I'm sorry, I'm a
thinking walter mathau and
the other guy there

from the very film
or the old man from pawn stars
makes me laugh a bit
Haiku # 49829, July 2, 2013 12:17 pm ET
by vhs
those angry young men
become grumpy older men
human erosion
Haiku # 49828, July 2, 2013 8:40 am ET
by ash
somehow the angry
younger man died in me and
replaced by well, what?
Haiku # 49827, July 2, 2013 1:35 am ET
by vhs
this isn't that big
a deal to me anymore
it's sad that that's so...
Haiku # 49826, July 1, 2013 11:23 am ET
by vhs
The sphinx's sphincter
and King Tut's butt banged by
Isis' strap-on.

Egyptian sushi
mummified, lubricated,
soy sauce enema.
Haiku # 49825, July 1, 2013 6:48 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Darth Figpucker
The two-headed sphinx:
Spider Jerusalem's cat
smoking cigarettes.
Haiku # 49824, June 30, 2013 10:12 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Fibonacci primes
give me a huge erection.
(Huge for a gerbil.)
Haiku # 49823, June 30, 2013 10:07 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of Wikipedia mathematical pervert lurking in the shadows.
not my last gasp yet
but as for intolerance
my list is growing
Haiku # 49822, June 30, 2013 4:49 am ET
by ash
Road kill giant rat.
Ten inches nose to ass.
Philippine beauty.
Haiku # 49821, June 29, 2013 10:28 am ET
by Click to see Chicken Fucker video on Youtube of Darth Figpucker
intolerance was
the last gasp in the life of
someone just fed up
Haiku # 49820, June 29, 2013 9:32 am ET
by vhs
no apostrophe !
such haiku catastrophe
prompts apoplexy
Haiku # 49819, June 29, 2013 12:46 am ET
by ash
My haiku's are lame
Some of them are a real shame
It's the haiku game
Haiku # 49818, June 28, 2013 9:19 pm ET
by Shirley Smothers
speaking of illness
your recurrence has more troll
than trolololo
Haiku # 49817, June 27, 2013 8:26 am ET
by ash
Nippress and Ash
Doing gay el sexo
Was married in
Gay Star Wars Themed
Wedding
As StormPooper
And Darth Gaydar
Now they Live
Gayily after ever
Janice the Hutt
Officiated the
Gay debacle.
Haiku # 49816, June 26, 2013 8:57 pm ET
by iamback
unfortunately
chalk up another bad day
for recrudescence
Haiku # 49815, June 26, 2013 8:40 am ET
by ash
date dots on the food
or was it masking tape on
ok it's a damned place

where people cook your
meals, and you go in and you EAT
your fois away
Haiku # 49814, June 23, 2013 1:40 am ET
by vhs
what happened to the
free internet and the paid
magazine? dead dead
Haiku # 49813, June 23, 2013 1:38 am ET
by vhs
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