The coin of the realm
Shatner rear change dispenser
On every corner

Bosley's sagging balls
They had seen happier days
But returned to dust

Bowling bag mix up
Mike just bowled a perfect game
With a severed head

Arnold's rock hard abs
Katy Perry's sexy boobies
Tom Bosley's penis

Nyarlathothep,
Great lurker on the threshold,
Receive this haiku.

One more quick haiku
Just to bless your silly soul
That's headed to hell.

Oh no climate change
Oh dear oh no let's PANIC.
And then go shopping.

i hate to think of
that poor plastic flamingo
stuck up your own ass.

Next time I see you
Bent over in your garden
Gonna kick your ass

My best pick up line:
Yo bitch, let's swap STDs
in the men's bathroom.

Your local K-Mart
Missing several garden gnomes
Dude, they're on to you

Suppose you think that
Midget porn in the background
Has gone unnoticed

you fucking fool thats
what im jerking off to you are
getting off to, not me

You're doing it wrong
Sit down to write poetry
But take off your pants

i feel i suck as
a poet on here, i should
go to filmmaking

Popcorn avalanche
Movie seat blow job surprise
Butter glistening

Darth's pick up line :
"Come over to the men's room
Take a look at this"

Oh Greta, Greta...
you soul-dead automaton;
climate change my ass.

I think I'll get AIDS.
And give it to the fat wife.
Then she'll lose some weight.

love the taste of tea
Drink the savory ol tea
fantastic pussy

I've about had it.
To the point of going nuts.
I hate parasites.

Rats, mosquitoes, ants,
fleas, lice, flies, the fat-assed wife
and all the in-laws.

Spindly little legs
might look cute on teenage girls.
On mosquitoes, no.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaymen!

It would be better
If Jesus was the Fonz
Aaaaaaay Aaaaay Aaaaaaay Aaaaaaay
Aaaaaaaaaay

God hates all poets.
Poetry is vanity.
Vanity is sin.

God does not love you.
In fact It says he hates you.
It is The Bible.

Told me to call him
Mr. Cunnilingusham
Punch the jukebox, Fonz!

Vader stroked my thigh
Then he punched me in the eye
Tom Bosley's penis

I lived in Naples
Meatballs big as your head
Served hot in my pants

"Let's get a cabin
Don't worry about lira"
Or any other junk"

Italian Girl Friend
In the seventies
Boobs like Sofia Loren

A rear end wiggle
So fine- has not left my mind
After 50 years

As the sun outshines
The stars, I the clown outshine
The other buffoons

Visit Italy
Crazy, greasy Italians
Stuffed in one big boot

We've got you covered
Haiku about poop and dinks
We meet all your needs

Unibrow honey
Unibrow up in my face
Unibrow hard on

Duckling duckling duck
Anas platyrhynchos duck
Badling brace flock raft

Congratulations !
3-D fecal ultrasound
Ma'am, you're having twins!

Empty booze bottles
A trail of cigarette butts
I knew I'd find you

Hongkie protester's
Big guts brave as hell!
Stand up to Maoists.

Communist killers
Killed thirty million men
The great leap backwards

The Honkies can see
What the Communist future
Soon will bring to them.

A million Tank Men
will be hunted down and purged
Just like Tiananmen

Respect to them all
Who dare to fight back against-
Communist evil

The great mystery
Every one will go back there
To where we started.

Receive visitors?
No thanks- want to be alone.
Thank God for quiet.

Tattoo my penis
Is there room for a dragon?
A small mosquito?

Wafer in his beak
The Catholicssowary bird
On the Sunday strut

John Boy Walton's mole
Overlooked at communion
"Hey, where's MY wafer??"

Praise Godzilla
All hail the top banana
Sunday is his day

Closer inspection
Mastered a new yoga pose
I've a lovely cunt

When the neighbors look,
dance naked at your window.
Let them take pictures.

That is disgusting.
Eggs, vinegar, and oil
for real mayonnaise.

Backyard meat beating
Penis soothed in a large tub
Hellman's Mayonnaise

Silk draperies blow
Revealing their nude figures
I watch them and wave