wanna get real drunk
and burn down the orphanage
and wake up sorry

A Hiaku for My Dog
Whippets are a gas.
When warm, expand to take up
space available

You're so good with words
That give my mind clarity
Refreshing, so true

I will kill all folk
That do not like this haiku
And that means you bud!

Syllable over
Committed haiku faux pas
So sue me ya pricks!

Across the atruim
Stood Adonis in the flesh
Damn, I want him bad

Kill a pensioner
You'll never regret it huh?
Goodnight Grandpappy

I long for the day
When you and I will be in
The throws of passion

I stew about it
It makes me want to throw up
I feel really sick

Princess Diana
And aristocratic crew
Love to, eh, screw you!

I'll hold up my glass
And toast your very being
A fine wine it is

I am a fuckwit
This I know only too well
Who gives a damn, eh?

The night is still young
The moon is full, stars are bright
The dawn comes too soon

I am forty one
Plenty of time to wander
I need viagra

writing good haiku
with the correct syllables
is very diffic

i live to live on
to see the breaking of dawn
and not be a pawn

wish I could open
the back of my computer
and fill it with milk

mom thinks I'm crazy
because I want to marry
a rabid monkey

profound not profane
whaddya think of that then
u obscene jerk-offs

You think you're something
So smart, so witty, so cool
I've got news for you!

The game is over
You're as boring as batshit
Take a fucking hike

You Have Left T.O.
We Are So Sad You Know
We Must Visit Yo'

didn't you knowthat
you're my hero-your are the
WIND BETWEENMY CHEEKS

obese astronaut
squeezing into the capsule
so long, fatso

calmly I arrive
methodical orgasm
whoopie I just came

kill me universe
bless a bird's nest with a match
and poop on the moon

The deadline beckons
I am tired of waiting
They can all get fu#$ed!

logoff tired surfer
go to sleep my racing brain
damn insomnia

Bill gates profits big,
while netscape dies a slow death.
Suck my ass billy.

Oh fluffy monkey
Hairy lump of potato
She is a fat cat

Oh My friends my friends
I am leaving all of you
LONG LIVE BAD HAIKU!

I stay'd up 'til two
set the clocks back; yet again
until the sun rose

cold winds are blowing
upon those less fortunate
but i'm all right jack

The leaves turn yellow,
red, orange and copper hues.
Too soon sets the sun.

Sherri, hope you're proud
These bad Haiku are for you
Now, back to the books

Just trying to be
As cool as my big sister
Have to keep trying>

Got homework to do
So I'm on the internet
Procrastinator

Sher- as a way to
communicate, Haiku sucks
i'll give you a call

Sherri, by big sis
Is my hero, yes she is
She writes baaaad Haiku

Returning homeward
pedalling much easier
the wind at my back

Bicycling northward
excedingly difficult
brisk wind in my face

i cannot recall, the great things escape my mind. Short term memory

It wasn't DeadWood
It was the g-string that hurt.
My poor crampy butt!

we exist for now
looking back to find ourselves
suddenly past it

What is a haikU?
A California city
with backwards spelling.

Sausage McMuffin
So tasty in the morning
But it makes me fat

tried to read bad poems
couldn't; a bored drool,
it is insane bad tv beats this

Misha My younger
sister peeps at bad haiku
where are her verses?

I remember when
polyester didn't breathe
My old leisure suits

So, tell me again:
Just how many syllables
Does this have to be?