Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 177 Days and 77086 Haiku later...

That's what Elvis ate
After he got all dosed up
With his narcotics.
Haiku # 73005, October 25, 2021 9:25 am ET
by I Enjoy It Drug-free of King of Black Velvet
The sandwich for me:
Peanut-butter/banana
On toasted whole-wheat.
Haiku # 73004, October 25, 2021 9:22 am ET
by Non-hydrogenated of Agreed
That sounds delicious
Canadians fuck it up
with too much sugar
Haiku # 73003, October 25, 2021 8:14 am ET
by Noticer of Fucked up Canadian peanut butter
Homeless drug addict.
Humping his cardboard sleep mat.
Drooling, looks at you.
Haiku # 73002, October 25, 2021 8:00 am ET
by Go ahead, flash your teats. of Let him have a good wank.
Damn good PBJ.
Wheat bread, blackberry jelly,
natural Smucker's.
Haiku # 73001, October 25, 2021 7:55 am ET
by 100% peanuts peanut butter. of Fuck that hydrogenated repurposed motor oil shite that Jif makes.
Fukushima men
Glow in the dark penises
make handy night lights
Haiku # 73000, October 25, 2021 7:26 am ET
by Now you can read in bed of Deluxe model has adjustable goose neck
I'm in the mood for
nachos, simply cuz I watched
Beavis and Butthead.
Haiku # 72999, October 25, 2021 6:57 am ET
by Everything's better with cheddar.
Bon, ben... tu es con.
Vraiment un connard trop bete.
De fromage tu parles.
Haiku # 72998, October 25, 2021 6:53 am ET
by La Domestique of Tyrone tha Brie Deala
What y'all gone git there
Is flaming sulfur an FIRE.
Not faggot-ass cheese.
Haiku # 72997, October 25, 2021 6:42 am ET
by Damn U Stoopid of Tyrone School of Lyrix
Y'all down there in hell
And y'all want cheese an French toast.
Aint none in HELL bro.
Haiku # 72996, October 25, 2021 6:38 am ET
by Tyrone tha Rula of Alliance Francaise
It's like pyjamas
But I added the tail part
What suit would you wear?
Haiku # 72995, October 24, 2021 11:15 pm ET
by sk of fireplace
Pink Panther costume
Not going trick-or-treating
But might still dress up
Haiku # 72994, October 24, 2021 11:09 pm ET
by Google .gif of him warming his bum of by the fireplace.
How about French toast?
The secret is make it slow
with stale brioche, right?
Haiku # 72993, October 24, 2021 11:04 pm ET
by Talk about food some more of I can almost taste it. Nothing to eat here
Now I am craving
brie on brioche with creme fraiche
and heirloom cocaine.
Haiku # 72992, October 24, 2021 10:56 pm ET
by Because I can.
You're the same person.
Ten kilos of castor beans.
How much will it cost?
Haiku # 72991, October 24, 2021 10:46 pm ET
by Thanks.
And to think I thought
that you were not "Starkitten"...
You big poser, you.
Haiku # 72990, October 24, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by Troll Intervention of Trollsville
You're such a big poof.
Brioche? Are you serious?
Polly-voo Fransay?
Haiku # 72989, October 24, 2021 8:59 pm ET
by Marie-Antoinette of Versailles
Schwinn's not a bad brand.
Old fashioned one-speed cruiser?
Bet pink or purple.

I've got a bike,
you can ride it if you like.
It's got a basket, a bell that rings
and things to make it look good.
I'd give it to you if I could,
but I borrowed it.
Haiku # 72988, October 24, 2021 8:38 pm ET
by Do you catch spiders in your house under a glass. of slide some paper under it and release them outdoors?
You say that you walk,
I bet dance on table tops.
[Inserts dollar bill.]
Haiku # 72987, October 24, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by I need one of those remote control fart noise makers. of I miss Halloween pranks.
Like a brioche, huh?
[Insert yeast infection joke.]
Maybe with humus.
Haiku # 72986, October 24, 2021 7:40 pm ET
by Why do you ask so many questions?
Oui, I ride a bike
with flowers and fresh baguette
filling the basket
Haiku # 72985, October 24, 2021 6:50 pm ET
by Cat on a hot Schwinn bike of purr de France
It looks like brioche
I walk on the tabletop
like the cats in France
Haiku # 72984, October 24, 2021 5:56 pm ET
by chaton d'etoille of sur la table
Now I have to ask.
Does your ass look like pizza?
Is it extra large?
Haiku # 72983, October 24, 2021 5:42 pm ET
by Is that a pepperoni in your pocket? of Or are you happy to see me?
By peddling ass,
I assume you ride a bike.
If not, then you should.

What will you go as
for Halloween this fine year?
Covid molecule?
Haiku # 72982, October 24, 2021 5:40 pm ET
by I'll be Fart Man (copying Howard Stern)
Whore secretary
nanny chef maid chauffeur and
security guard.
Haiku # 72981, October 24, 2021 5:36 pm ET
by And dingleberry removal expert.
What are you talking about???
Sexy??? You need a shrink or an eye doctor.
And I need some sleep!
Fuck counting.
Haiku # 72980, October 24, 2021 5:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka
Клей-сварка Алмаз
Клей-сварка по японской технологии: крепеж, герметик, "холодная сварка"!
Двухкомпонентный клей скрепляет любые поверхности: металл, камень, пластик и др.
Затвердевает так, что не стирается, не режется, абсолютно водонепроницаемый, ремонтирует любую поломку, скол или трещину.
https://torgovaya.xyz/kley-svarka клей сварка epoxy steel
Haiku # 72979, October 24, 2021 4:05 pm ET
by Peresleginqzi of Russia
MasterCard, Visa
and an extra large pizza
What it will cost you.
Haiku # 72978, October 24, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Peddler of my ass
The name's Fig. Darth Fig.
How many secretaries?
You sexy math spy
Haiku # 72977, October 24, 2021 3:28 pm ET
by Starkitten Galore
You are white devils.
Doctor Yakub grafted you
From snakes and demons.
Haiku # 72976, October 24, 2021 1:24 pm ET
by His Holiness the Honorable Prophet Elijah Moohamad of Bangin' Teenage Secretaries in my Free Time

Рады приветствовать вас!
Готовы предложить лучшие прогоны, чтобы "утопить" веб-сайт конкурентов. Цена: всего от 2 тыс руб.
- Гарантированный результат. Сайты конкурентов "упадут".
- Наибольшее количество отрицательных фитбеков.
- Наша специфическая база - максимально сильные площадки из 10 млн. ресурсов (спамные, порно, вирусные и тому подобные). Работает безотказно.
- Прогон осуществляем сразу с 4 мощных серверов.
- Постоянный спам активационных ссылок на официальный e-mail.
- Можем растянуть как угодно по времени.
- Прогоняем с запретными ключами.
- При условии заказа сразу 2 ресурсов - выгодные бонусы.

Стоимость 6000py.
Полная отчётность.
Оплата: Qiwi, Яндекс.Деньги, Bitcoin, Visa, MasterCard...

Телегрм: @xrumers
Skype: xrumer.pro
WhatsApp: +7(977)536-08-36


Только эти!
А тАкож Работаем со Студиями!
Haiku # 72975, October 24, 2021 12:42 pm ET
by MiloshVlasovs of Russia
Take a look at this
(pic) Ogre bending over
Cancer free colon
Haiku # 72974, October 24, 2021 11:46 am ET
by Noticer of Shrek's green asshole
Found on Google.
"One study conducted in 2019 found that if you eat 35 pounds of alliums (onions, garlics, and leeks to name a few) you could naturally avoid colorectal cancer by as much as 79 percent."

It doesn't mention
that it's that many per year.
Can I sue Google?
Haiku # 72973, October 24, 2021 9:31 am ET
by Let's try!
How many onions
must one eat before dying.
Onion poisoning.
Haiku # 72972, October 24, 2021 9:29 am ET
by Possible? of Let's try.
Honor? What is that?
Did you honor the offer?
On her and off her.
Haiku # 72971, October 24, 2021 9:26 am ET
by There's a joke about that that I forgot. of Too old, too old. I concede the duel. You may run me through when ready.
I'm getting sick of
this Alec Baldwin nonsense.
So he killed someone.

Trump and Biden did.
And no one makes fun of them.
... Oh wait. Never mind.
Haiku # 72970, October 24, 2021 9:23 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Please don't lie to me.
I know that you have no soul.
Nor any rythm.
Haiku # 72969, October 24, 2021 8:22 am ET
by Damn cracker-ass honkey always writin' haiku an' shit. of Shut up an' drink this Colt 45, mo fo.
Alec Baldwin. BANG!
The La Palma volcano.
It's all connected.
Haiku # 72968, October 24, 2021 7:43 am ET
by Neurotransmitters of Lucidity
You have dragged my soul
From lofty heights down to filth--
Figpucker, foul freak.
Haiku # 72967, October 24, 2021 6:15 am ET
by Unsheathe Thy Rapier for a Duel of Defend What Little Haiku Honor You Have Left
Dingleberry pie.
Pluck them from the anal bush.
Happy underwear.
Haiku # 72966, October 24, 2021 5:12 am ET
by If undies could talk, eh?
Gizzards are too tough.
I prefer heart and liver.
Organ meat Oscar.
Haiku # 72965, October 24, 2021 5:08 am ET
by If you are into offal. of I can take it or leave it.
Gigantic Insects
Zig-Zagging Amorously
Rudely Defecate.
Haiku # 72964, October 24, 2021 5:03 am ET
by I suppose

G-I-Z-Z-A-R-D !!!
Haiku # 72963, October 24, 2021 4:06 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
New restaurant in town
The portions are super sized
Pterosaur-Fil-A
Haiku # 72962, October 24, 2021 4:02 am ET
by Gizzards the size of meteorites
Kentucky Fried Pterasaur Boner?
He has a sore boner?
Flying too low?
Haiku # 72961, October 24, 2021 12:15 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Saw it in the sky
Well endowed pterodactyl
Working his ass off
Haiku # 72960, October 23, 2021 10:13 pm ET
by KTB of Nebraska Silo
Decades of research
Why flightless birds are flightless
They have big ding dongs
Haiku # 72959, October 23, 2021 9:42 pm ET
by Extremely Flightless Cassowary of Not in the sky
Not again, this year.
Office holiday party
Don't fuck the warm Brie.
Haiku # 72958, October 23, 2021 7:38 pm ET
by Mr. Cassowary of IT Dept. Head
Bullwinkle's house
Why won't he answer the door?
Waiting sucks moose cocks
Haiku # 72957, October 23, 2021 7:32 pm ET
by Please visit YouTube for full effect of Moose Sounds Moose Pictures The Sound A Moose Makes
Booga-booga. Huh.
Dance in the village clearing.
Then upgrade data.
Haiku # 72956, October 23, 2021 6:17 pm ET
by Data-driven Tribalism of Motherland
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >