Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 250 Days and 77185 Haiku later...

This is my cat's name:
Tremble before Jesus Christ,
Your Lord and your Judge.
Haiku # 73470, November 12, 2021 3:10 am ET
by Kitty Kat of Revelation
The Word of the Lord.
We must hear and obey it.
That is our duty.
Haiku # 73469, November 12, 2021 3:05 am ET
by Kind of Obvious.
what is your cat's name, vhs?
Haiku # 73467, November 11, 2021 10:34 pm ET
by Starkitten
it should be shut down
rotten wormy dogs and all
the world will soon end
Haiku # 73466, November 11, 2021 10:06 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Rotten Chinee man:
I will eat you AND your dog.
With my haiku. Burpp.
Haiku # 73465, November 11, 2021 7:18 pm ET
by Japanese Nip of Imperial Rising Sun Shogun Forces
What works what doesn't
Matter of practice trial mood
Display, error, blah
Haiku # 73464, November 11, 2021 6:34 pm ET
by Mox
Well blahnik blahnik blahnik
Let's go blahnik...take
Me to your blahnik
Haiku # 73463, November 11, 2021 5:32 pm ET
by Mox
Your work displays a certain
indecisive blah . . .
Haiku # 73462, November 11, 2021 5:26 pm ET
by Muh Maine Man of Moxierama
That must be some them
There ruskie bots selling those
Boner pills...bitcoins?
Haiku # 73461, November 11, 2021 3:41 pm ET
by Mox
is it just me or
is living solitude a
state of being, not?
Haiku # 73459, November 11, 2021 2:37 pm ET
by vhs
my cat will not let
me make my bed as he has
claimed it for himself
Haiku # 73458, November 11, 2021 2:15 pm ET
by vhs
well my break ends now
must exercise my right to
move my body now
Haiku # 73457, November 11, 2021 12:53 pm ET
by vhs
what can i do to
convince who is on the end
in toronto to

keep it going?
Haiku # 73456, November 11, 2021 12:48 pm ET
by vhs
do i have to place
a final note to a place
i would cry to see

Haiku # 73455, November 11, 2021 12:45 pm ET
by vhs
screen will not shrink, too
simple we have become, no
escape, panopti...

Haiku # 73454, November 11, 2021 12:43 pm ET
by mox
the man who speaks of
the rotten verse, i wanted to
pass this place on to

a friend or two :(.

does an emoji count as a syllable?
Haiku # 73453, November 11, 2021 12:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
do i need to post
the address of this place to
my twitter to get

writer friend to plead
no dinna do that, i have
cawfee and care free...
Haiku # 73452, November 11, 2021 12:33 pm ET
by mox
my question is must
i paste my condolence to
this place of my past?
Haiku # 73451, November 11, 2021 12:31 pm ET
by vhs
She's "Florida Man" !
I saw her all over news.
They're one and the same.
Haiku # 73450, November 11, 2021 12:21 pm ET
by Florida Woman Himself of Okeefenokee Mangrove Swamp
She's just a rumor . . .
An assumed identity:
Unknown entity.
Haiku # 73449, November 11, 2021 12:19 pm ET
by Wind Whispers Name of Someone
Janis hates snowmen.
She ruthlessly murders them.
They have families.

But she does not care.
By shotgun or flamethrower.
Showing no mercy.
Haiku # 73448, November 11, 2021 10:44 am ET
by I saw it with my own two eyes. of Not made out of coal.
She's a super-bot:
The Janis algorithm.
It's a catchy beat...
Haiku # 73447, November 11, 2021 10:17 am ET
by Rithm is Gonna Get'cha of A.I. Website Creation
Janis is a web nut.
She secretly runs Google.
And the CIA.
Haiku # 73446, November 11, 2021 9:52 am ET
by Except on weekends when she sells crack to grade school kids.
Janis is the Bomb.
Janis is the unsung Queen.
We've never met her . . .
Haiku # 73445, November 11, 2021 9:31 am ET
by To Ronto of To Oronto Toro Nto
As yet, unconfirmed:
Bad Haiku will be shut down.
Janis converted.
Haiku # 73444, November 11, 2021 9:29 am ET
by To Sunni Islam of Uncle Ben's Condoleeza Rice
Will Janis shut down
the website at twenty-five
years of putrid verse?
Haiku # 73443, November 11, 2021 8:45 am ET
by Would be appropiate. of And life would be better.
Well, actually,
I think that she's a woman.
Never know these days.
Haiku # 73442, November 11, 2021 8:43 am ET
by Your confusion has Confucius confused. of Cuntabulate this!
You're completely whacked.
Because you've been whacking off.
Try the Thai massage.
Haiku # 73441, November 11, 2021 8:38 am ET
by Might I recommend the older woman with the tiger tattoo on her shoulder.
I am a fuzzball.
You are a fuzzball. We are
Fuzzballs. With three breasts.
Haiku # 73440, November 11, 2021 8:18 am ET
by Milkers Cubed of To the power of NO
I identify
As a person whose ID
Is completely whacked.
Haiku # 73439, November 11, 2021 8:15 am ET
by Demi-Boy of Dummy Boy with Tampax Inserted
Plead insanity
and you will surely get off.
I get off all day!
Haiku # 73438, November 11, 2021 7:51 am ET
by blahblahblah
I'm needing a brrrrt.
I found one on the dark web.
Too many spyders.
Haiku # 73437, November 11, 2021 7:48 am ET
by LSD Super Soaker of A fine alternative
Every single bomb
that's been released throughout time
makes one of my farts
Haiku # 73436, November 11, 2021 7:45 am ET
by Delusions of Grandsewer
After a long nap,
blowing out all those boogers
like a machine gun.
Haiku # 73435, November 11, 2021 7:43 am ET
by ratta-tat-tat of splatta-splat-splat
Feed us a fetus.
Charitable carpenter.
He's giving me wood.
Haiku # 73434, November 11, 2021 7:40 am ET
by Thief
Every single fart
that's been released throughout time
would make a fine bomb
Haiku # 73433, November 11, 2021 4:41 am ET
by A way out of here
Verily, oh Blob.
Squeejum Squee, swallow thyself!
Not one soul else will.
Haiku # 73432, November 11, 2021 4:35 am ET
by Well, maybe in Africa.
Pox upon thee, squire.
Methinks all manner of smack
Doth challenge my wit
Haiku # 73430, November 10, 2021 11:49 pm ET
by Elizabethan of Talking Smack
oh go bite your thumb
at someone else, i have to
use mine to do fonz
Haiku # 73429, November 10, 2021 10:26 pm ET
by vhs
Fie! Abort thyself!
Experienced Hoover cowgirl.
Vacuums and stirrups.
Haiku # 73428, November 10, 2021 10:23 pm ET
by Sucking cum, stir up coffee. of One teensy extra silly bool. Didn't know it was in there!
Surely, knave, you jest.
Yet, I shall unsheath my blade,
Lest you play the fool.
Haiku # 73427, November 10, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Dashing Duellist of Diabolic Dilemma
Assume donkey position...
Ascend. WHOOPS! (ass-end).
Haiku # 73426, November 10, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by Assessment Assent Protocols of Burro Hee Haw
Just squeeze out one more.
Fresh, fragrant, dark and steaming:
Another haiku.
Haiku # 73424, November 10, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Haiku Factory of Mass Production
A six-armed idol:
Five for chapatis, curry,
One for the chutney.
Haiku # 73423, November 10, 2021 9:52 pm ET
by What's My Third Eye For? of Asiatic Abominations
Oh ye haiku gods,
Strengthen me this one last time,
To destroy temples.
Haiku # 73422, November 10, 2021 9:48 pm ET
by Freaky Sexy Big-breasted Buddhist of Khajuraho
Noticer, not you.
He/she/it/they "if you tell".
My, its farts do smell.

My life's at its end.
Praise be to Jesus for that.
Pain is getting old.
Haiku # 73421, November 10, 2021 7:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Somewhere over the
Rainbow trout I post something
Slippery and fishy.
Haiku # 73420, November 10, 2021 6:17 pm ET
by Mox
There were no death threats
unless after we French kiss
you get a hairball
Haiku # 73419, November 10, 2021 6:06 pm ET
by starkitten of lair
Do you suppose that
da Vinci's dead fetus will
dance with your dead son?

No, probably not.
I just love instant karma.
And avoid dogma.
Haiku # 73418, November 10, 2021 5:52 pm ET
by I know.
You were aborted.
All of this is just a dream
In your fetal skull.
Haiku # 73417, November 10, 2021 5:48 pm ET
by Vanished Glories of Mitosis
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