Janis hates snowmen.
She ruthlessly murders them.
They have families.
But she does not care.
By shotgun or flamethrower.
Showing no mercy.
by I saw it with my own two eyes. of Not made out of coal.
She's a super-bot:
The Janis algorithm.
It's a catchy beat...
by Rithm is Gonna Get'cha of A.I. Website Creation
Janis is a web nut.
She secretly runs Google.
And the CIA.
by Except on weekends when she sells crack to grade school kids.
Janis is the Bomb.
Janis is the unsung Queen.
We've never met her . . .
by To Ronto of To Oronto Toro Nto
As yet, unconfirmed:
Bad Haiku will be shut down.
Janis converted.
by To Sunni Islam of Uncle Ben's Condoleeza Rice
Will Janis shut down
the website at twenty-five
years of putrid verse?
by Would be appropiate. of And life would be better.
Well, actually,
I think that she's a woman.
Never know these days.
by Your confusion has Confucius confused. of Cuntabulate this!
You're completely whacked.
Because you've been whacking off.
Try the Thai massage.
by Might I recommend the older woman with the tiger tattoo on her shoulder.
I am a fuzzball.
You are a fuzzball. We are
Fuzzballs. With three breasts.
by Milkers Cubed of To the power of NO
I identify
As a person whose ID
Is completely whacked.
by Demi-Boy of Dummy Boy with Tampax Inserted
Plead insanity
and you will surely get off.
I get off all day!
by blahblahblah
I'm needing a brrrrt.
I found one on the dark web.
Too many spyders.
by LSD Super Soaker of A fine alternative
Every single bomb
that's been released throughout time
makes one of my farts
by Delusions of Grandsewer
After a long nap,
blowing out all those boogers
like a machine gun.
by ratta-tat-tat of splatta-splat-splat
Feed us a fetus.
Charitable carpenter.
He's giving me wood.
by Thief
Every single fart
that's been released throughout time
would make a fine bomb
by A way out of here
Verily, oh Blob.
Squeejum Squee, swallow thyself!
Not one soul else will.
by Well, maybe in Africa.
Pox upon thee, squire.
Methinks all manner of smack
Doth challenge my wit
by Elizabethan of Talking Smack
oh go bite your thumb
at someone else, i have to
use mine to do fonz
by vhs
Fie! Abort thyself!
Experienced Hoover cowgirl.
Vacuums and stirrups.
by Sucking cum, stir up coffee. of One teensy extra silly bool. Didn't know it was in there!
Surely, knave, you jest.
Yet, I shall unsheath my blade,
Lest you play the fool.
by Dashing Duellist of Diabolic Dilemma
Assassination:
Assume donkey position...
Ascend. WHOOPS! (ass-end).
by Assessment Assent Protocols of Burro Hee Haw
Just squeeze out one more.
Fresh, fragrant, dark and steaming:
Another haiku.
by Haiku Factory of Mass Production
A six-armed idol:
Five for chapatis, curry,
One for the chutney.
by What's My Third Eye For? of Asiatic Abominations
Oh ye haiku gods,
Strengthen me this one last time,
To destroy temples.
by Freaky Sexy Big-breasted Buddhist of Khajuraho
Noticer, not you.
He/she/it/they "if you tell".
My, its farts do smell.
My life's at its end.
Praise be to Jesus for that.
Pain is getting old.
by Anonymous Poet
Somewhere over the
Rainbow trout I post something
Slippery and fishy.
by Mox
There were no death threats
unless after we French kiss
you get a hairball
by starkitten of lair
Do you suppose that
da Vinci's dead fetus will
dance with your dead son?
No, probably not.
I just love instant karma.
And avoid dogma.
by I know.
You were aborted.
All of this is just a dream
In your fetal skull.
by Vanished Glories of Mitosis
Oh, these silly bulls.
Male bovines in tutus.
Count them, prancing by.
by Post-ballet BBQ. of Farmer Bill's Ranch
Your empty death threats,
dog poop, and marijuana
give me a boner.
by Fetishists Anonomous of In the jungle, checking my plants.
That would awesome.
Twenty-five years, then kaput.
Should be same for us.
by Life beyond 25 is just being greedy.
repent, ye sinners
you syllable miscounters
for the end is nye!
by scotch of bill nye, that is, ender of worlds
only two more days
to post all your bad haiku
then this site comes down
by scotch of rumor mongering HQ
She didn't do it
I pooped by the birdbath (wag)
i wrote that poem
by actual dog of Starkitten
Starkitten, you gotta quit pooping by the bird bath. They don't want to come around any more. Have some mercy on our avian brothers. Besides, if there are no birds, how can you catch and eat them? Go back to your litter box next time.
by Friendly defecation advice from your local neighborhood fecal advisor. of Fiscal Fecal, Accounting for Your Poo Since 1961.
Entertain us, entered anus.
Sparrow King, Catatafish.
Lemmiwinks or Lemmy winks.
by One Ton Wonton One-eyed-wonder-worm of Give me Motorhead.
I calculated it
There aren't enough hours in the day
to smoke all this weed
by Hotbox of haiku
the last haiku was written by a dirty dog
by Anonymous Poet
He who dies in debt
only lost others' asses,
but still has his own.
by The only way to go.
shit by the birdbath
my nose held high in the air
my tail is lowered
by written by rez-dawg of Starkitten
Assess your losses:
your assets in arrears. How
you've fallen behind.
by Wipe Your Debt of Royal Flush
You should take a break.
Go and Seymour Butts; I did.
Thailand is awesome.
by Ass ass in ate was a ten ten.
I'll kill you then tell.
Dance on your fat rotten corpse.
Drug baby insists.
by It whispers to me at night. of "Kill the whore! Kill the whore!"
You are a liar!
My cat had killed the rabbit.
Brought it as a gift.
by It was tasty!
If you ever tell
I will kill you like I killed
That bunny rabbit.
by Uncle Seymour of Leavittown High Security Facility #13
The more people killed,
the more a hero you are.
Animals' revenge.
by EF!
It's so refreshing.
This game is almost over.
How hateful it's been.
by Worse than fucking Monopoly on bad acid.
Go out with a bang.
Timothy McVeigh should have.
What would Timmy do?
by WWTD
