How does a bird know
whether they're taking a shit
or laying an egg?
by Chloe A. Ka' Hole of Hawaii
Dare to imagine!
Baby Yoda pleasure doll.
And rechargeable!
by $89.99
You got it early.
Did you like your Xmas gift?
I forgot the bow.
by Long overdue!
Dancing beak to beak?
May I tickle your gizzard.
Would you like gravy?
by Bird is the word.
Something might pop up
when we're dancing cheek to cheek
Come here, Butterballs
by Bird Fancier of Frozen Foods
I am also bot.
We are make great haiku work.
We are very much.
by Brynn Wadsworth of Conakry, Guinea
When two people kiss
they form one enormous tube;
Butthole to butthole.
by Kiss me, you fool!
My tennis racket
I think it's in the closet
Hand it to me, Darth.
by The fruity and fun ghost of Charles Nelson Reilly
Well, that's different.
Hello, JL from Peru.
I'll be nice to you.
by Please post more. We need it.
haiku and good friends
many thanks to Jane and Rob
love you all so much
by JL of Peru, Vermouth
Autoerotic
homosexuality
asphixiation.
by Darth Figpucker of Hanging out in the closet. I'm blue.
Don't count your balot
before it hatches. Get it?
The yolk is on you!
by Joke of Starkitten
Just figured it out
You human calculator!
Darth = Count
by Countfart Countfart Count! of Methane Square
Don't count your dooku
Before it hatches. Get it?
That was a Darth joke.
by Counting Numbers of Digits
Darth, demystified.
I found out he's really me.
That's why I like him.
by Novelty of Having a huge penis
The time to rob banks
is when you're peaking on meth,
not when coming down.
by Career Advice Column of Darth Figpucker
Commit seppuku.
You can't solve the sudoku.
Write your last haiku.
Your urn is raku.
And it's driving me coo-coo.
Look, it's Count Dooku!
by Anonymous Pooet
Did you rob the bank?
Make the tellers show their tits.
Tip with stolen cash.
by Have some style.
I just closed my eyes
The Energizer bunny
shit on my carpet
by I need your assistance
Try to imagine
Robots pooping batteries
That is our future
by Tongue
I tried signing up
but I haven't heard back yet
Did I get approved?
by Toys for Twats applicant of Xmas is coming!
I'll never forget
smoking my first figarette
behind the old mall
by Pack of Lies
Maybe a blender.
Raw fish, wasabi, lettuce,
Tomato and hamster.
Blend well, place in shell
on a bed of rice and beans.
Consume right away.
by Margaritas with sake chasers.
Bullfrog in moonlight.
Smoking dried cherry blossoms
through a six foot bong.
by Whoa, dude. It's so deep.
This site's moniker
happens to be BAD haiku.
Blossoms in my ass.
by Where else would blossoms be?
I think we should mix
hamsters and sushi tacos,
But I don't know how.
Now we contemplate
smoking chrysanthemum bud
extract through vape pens.
by Vaping... not as gay as pineapple on pizza, of course, but almost!
All day long I know
I'll be thinking about those
damn sushi tacos!
by It's all your fault!
I'm not hungary
for tapioca pudding.
Jeez! I'm not THAT old!
by Darth
Richard Gere's hamster?
She died about one year back.
No, it wasn't me!
by I only know it had something to do with Stephen Hawking
You may ridicule.
Anal health is important.
And must be discussed.
by The Journal of Practical Proctology -- peer reviewed anal medicine written in haiku.
Wait a minute here!
Mexican food in Japan?
You must tell me where!
Think sushi taco.
Literally, that's to say.
Not Asian hookers.
But maybe those too!
Sushi taco, my new fave!
But it's confusing.
Eat it or fuck it.
In Japan, anything goes.
I cannot decide.
by Close your eyes and imagine three Japanese hookers feeding me sushi tacos. of Your welcome.
Coming down now (sigh...)
The meth is wearing off. Damn.
Time to rob a bank.
by Tenzin Gyatso AKA "Tha Dolly Lama" of Thug Life Soundz Recording Studios, Himalaya
Tell me why this site
Isn't bigger than Twitter.
It deserves to be!
by Greatest Website Ever Created By GOD I Mean Janis of Toronto
Help me Uncle Clem !
I done REELAPST and caint quit.
On haiku agin.
by Oh Lord Help Me I Jest Caint Lay Off The HAIKU of I Need Me A Tent Revival
Cherry blossoms, wind...
the lantern bridge festival
has ended: moonlight.
by Because Darth showed up 7 hours after a LARGE Mexican dinner of Geishas Fleeing in Fear Leaving Parasols and Fans Scattered in Panic
Therefore let us dream
of chrysanthemum blossoms
at the Kyoto gate
by Until Darth cuts a massive gasser and talks about his excremental health
But seriously:
we must restore to Haiku
style and dignity.
by It IS an important and valid poetic form after all, of course. (He said while dancing in an elf suit on Ayahuasca)
You mention Tinkoff?
Then I may have to drink off
my Shanghai chink-off.
by Thinkoff and then Phakoff of Marketing Solutions For the Data-driven Executive Dressed in an Elf Hat Butt-naked
Hey you, Figpucker !
I heard Richard Gere's hamster
is looking for you.
by You Might Get Lucky, Bro' of Hamsterdam, Netherlands in a Plastic Bag
Jen Psaki, wearing
Santa suit and big black boots
drunk and staggering...
She hugs a reindeer,
babbles incoherently,
vomits in the snow.
by Ideas for a Christmas Special
Dressed in green and red,
thousands of little Faucis
with bells on their toes.
Croaking of Covid,
Jumping and dancing in glee
waving syringes.
by Infernal Vision of Merry Christmas Variant
Now, everyone's an
Epidemiologist.
We're so well-informed...
by Spike P. Rotein, MD, from Gain of Function, Covidoplis
With power there comes
great responsibility,
which isn't so fun.
by I still want the ability to post my nudes on here.
No! Do NOT try it.
Tinkoff will take your dink off.
If you even care.
by Not like you're using it for anything important.
I live on the fez.
Those silly old Shriner hats.
I am just a louse.
by That's one small step for a louse. of But one giant leap for licekind.
I live on The Pez.
Those old dispenser candies.
That is all I eat.
by Marijuana dispensary Pez. of Probably been done already.
Darth is "Starkitten".
Starkitten lives "on the rez".
Uh-huh. Whatever...
by Editions of Darth
I'm on the toilet.
Been sitting here for some time.
Damn cheese plugged me up.
by Darth Figpucker of Draino enema
Sometimes I'd like to.
No, I don't rule anything.
That is beneath me.
There are some "lows" that
even I will not sink to.
I'll leave that to the...
politicians and dictators.
by Darth Figpucker of I don't even rule hamsters.
