Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 248 Days and 77180 Haiku later...

Hiroshima, Japan


... I can't even
Haiku # 75298, April 13, 2022 12:10 am ET
by M. Night Shyamalan
RMS Titanic


A mysterious object
Is found in the kitchen
By an unassuming dishwasher
The strange black rectangle
Glows upon pressing a surface
It startles, emitting bright light
The dishwasher squints
And reads the display:
Haiku # 75297, April 13, 2022 12:06 am ET
by M. Night Shyamalan
Roswell, New Mexico


A soldier sifts
Through the wreckage
Of a large flying saucer
He finds a modern computer
Miraculously intact
Displaying a site called:
Haiku # 75296, April 12, 2022 11:59 pm ET
by M. Night Shyamalan
Not interested!
Not even if you're paying!
Done with all that shite.
Haiku # 75295, April 12, 2022 10:36 pm ET
by Open the gates of Jerryatric Park!
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Haiku # 75294, April 12, 2022 9:25 pm ET
by Eugenesox of Dominican Republic
Turtles on cocaine sounds like a bad idea
Could be dangerous
Haiku # 75293, April 12, 2022 9:07 pm ET
by Pervert Dinosaur of Bedrock Strip Club
Like turtles we have
Shells to protect our fragile
Hearts from predators
Haiku # 75292, April 12, 2022 9:06 pm ET
by Shells are cumbersome
Turtles are monsters
when there is watermelon.
Charge like armored bulls.
Haiku # 75290, April 12, 2022 7:36 pm ET
by Gives them the runs tho. of Dont give them too much.
One of the kids next
Door when I was growing up
He had a turtle
Got busted: cocaine
Um - the guy... not the turtle
Turtles are skittish
Haiku # 75289, April 12, 2022 6:34 pm ET
by Maybe you're both skittish? of skittish-feedback loop
Oh, little turtle,
hiding in your sturdy shell,
won't you let me in?
Haiku # 75288, April 12, 2022 2:19 pm ET
by I will bring carrots and watermelon.
But I'll eat it anyway
I'm Darth, and I like cheese
Haiku # 75287, April 12, 2022 8:31 am ET
by Glowing Reviews of Trenchmouth
магазин сантехники в
Haiku # 75286, April 12, 2022 6:59 am ET
by Kevinsub of Tunisia
Stick to what you know.
Go harvest your coffee beans.
And quit posting spam.
Haiku # 75283, April 11, 2022 5:47 pm ET
by Yirgachefe chef.
Learning. Growing. Change
Infinite knowledge and strength
YouTube video
Haiku # 75281, April 11, 2022 12:02 pm ET
by Cyan Cyan Oh Yes I can of Me again here
I came all this way,
watched by your babysitter.
Call and say hi.
Haiku # 75280, April 10, 2022 9:35 pm ET
by of Knocking on the razor gate.
The ex lead singer
in his falsetto tenor
falsified info.
Haiku # 75279, April 10, 2022 9:08 pm ET
by DLM of Imagination Land
Fakers, all of you.
Claiming to write haiku verse . . .
You are all lightweights
Haiku # 75278, April 10, 2022 7:17 pm ET
by MooHamMad Ali of Kabba
When wine meets my blood,
instantaneous haiku.
I just bleed it out.
Haiku # 75277, April 10, 2022 6:21 pm ET
by Winer of Mad Dog 20/20
Unstoppable force
Met immovable object:
Very loud, strange noise
Haiku # 75276, April 10, 2022 6:08 pm ET
by MANMOTH of ringing ears and intense existential anxiety
Haiku # 75274, April 10, 2022 11:26 am ET
by RobertLirty of Sri Lanka
Hey! Data-driver:
Ain't no data about it...
Don't drive data drunk.
Haiku # 75273, April 10, 2022 7:10 am ET
by M.A.D.D. of Mothers Against Data-Driven
Haiku # 75272, April 10, 2022 5:23 am ET
by Wallaceclund of Singapore
Haiku # 75271, April 9, 2022 11:15 pm ET
by JesusPAT of Vietnam
Haiku # 75269, April 9, 2022 11:13 am ET
by JamesMop of Bolivia
Indeed, I strive to
Be cryptic and obvious
All at the same time
Haiku # 75265, April 8, 2022 4:24 pm ET
75063 ?
Haiku # 75264, April 8, 2022 12:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I have gift for you
Radioactive trenches
You're welcome comrade
Haiku # 75263, April 8, 2022 12:18 pm ET
by Ghost of Boris Yeltsin's pooper
Millions of dollars
Found under a couch cushion
It all smells like ass
Haiku # 75261, April 8, 2022 2:53 am ET
by I. Kea
Extra syllable?
or the fart of a druid?
The decision's yours.
Haiku # 75260, April 8, 2022 1:55 am ET
by Noticer of Details
You, with the big fat ass
We came here to see Stonehenge
Not your big fat ass
Haiku # 75259, April 8, 2022 1:52 am ET
by Assface of Stonehenge
You shall be divorced
Fully and completely now
from reality
Haiku # 75258, April 8, 2022 1:48 am ET
by Kool Aid Pitcher of Mound
Give us a sample
of your finest flatulence
Re-create Jonestown

The Kool Aid Pitcher
Busting through your backyard fence
Coming for your soul
Haiku # 75256, April 7, 2022 8:22 pm ET
by Coming of This Summer
I have been hooked by
The goddess known as Wordle
She still vexes me
Haiku # 75255, April 7, 2022 8:05 pm ET
by I’m looking for a 5 letter word starting with SE of it’s me cyan wonce again
is the best haiku. Humans
cannot write good verse.
Haiku # 75254, April 7, 2022 7:46 pm ET
by Drunk Bots Write Best of All
Tremble before me
Ye gods and lords of the worlds
For I write haiku.
Haiku # 75252, April 7, 2022 5:30 pm ET
by George F. Milquetoast of Please Mummy More Cakes and Tea
U.S. preschoolers
Need to declare themselves trans.
We're behind the curve.
Haiku # 75251, April 7, 2022 4:37 pm ET
by Concerned Parent of Rainbow Flag in My Non-gender-specific W.C.
We need cars for work
So that we can work, to pay
For the car repairs.
Haiku # 75250, April 7, 2022 4:29 pm ET
by Head Gasket Conversion Unit of Natsuo Soseki 5L 6-cylinder Asahi Xtra Dry
You shall be divorced
And you shall be broke as well.
She left with your kids.
Haiku # 75249, April 7, 2022 4:25 pm ET
by Haikuized 4 U Once More of Pay Me Later It's OK
I shall be divorced
As well as broke
She took the kids
Haiku # 75248, April 7, 2022 2:29 pm ET
by Ooga booga of Ooga booga island
Porn links - not haiku
Stop masterbating now and
Come out with hands up
Haiku # 75247, April 7, 2022 11:15 am ET
by Haiku Cop of taking you to the slammer
That Italian MILF,
The blonde masseuse, that's my WIFE.
Tu sei pazzo, eh?
Haiku # 75246, April 7, 2022 10:33 am ET
by Head CEO of Lamborghini, inc
Cheetos or cheaters?
both have spicy tendencies
that will burn buttholes
Haiku # 75243, April 6, 2022 2:26 pm ET
by Lunicingus of u mom freezer
humidity - the air is
as thicc as cream cheese
Haiku # 75242, April 6, 2022 2:23 pm ET
by Hotdog of the bun comes off
solitary bliss -
forget momentarily
your coworkers fart
Haiku # 75241, April 6, 2022 2:20 pm ET
by Hotdog of the bun comes off
I don't mind people
Except all the Christian cucks.
Now get off my lawn!
Haiku # 75240, April 6, 2022 2:06 pm ET
by Haikuized 4 You of You Have a Running Tab
I don't mind people
On my lawn - except the cuck Christians
They can fuck right off
Haiku # 75239, April 6, 2022 12:45 pm ET
by Looking at you, Catholicism of God has no need to physically impregnate
"Ire" - gray area
Technically one syllable
But it's no big deal
Haiku # 75238, April 6, 2022 12:40 pm ET
by Haiku Cop
Already have God
Don’t need any door-knockers
Get off my lawn, boy!!!
Haiku # 75237, April 6, 2022 12:38 pm ET
by It’s me, again, hello of Shy-girlie known to all as Cyan
I figured it out!
I beat the New York Times Games
The word was ire
Haiku # 75235, April 5, 2022 8:05 pm ET
by I don’t know how many syllables are in ire so for that I apologize (Cyan) of Comfortable at home
The word you need: rage.
Ask that little Marxist elf
Zack de la Rocha
Haiku # 75233, April 5, 2022 4:05 pm ET
by Tom Morello of Still Screaming About Something, CA
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