Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 23 Days and 76198 Haiku later...

So many adverts
There’s so much excess in life
Pro-simplicity
Haiku # 75471, April 27, 2022 12:14 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX (former home of the penis cat)
Zero, one, two, three.
Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
Ten, eleven, twelve.
Haiku # 75469, April 27, 2022 7:06 am ET
by DAVE HANDELSMAN of Cary, NC
Wrong accusations
You know that I’m sensitive
And I’m not a bot
Haiku # 75467, April 26, 2022 7:11 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
I may be a Chad
But I also beat bullies,
Behead pedophiles
Haiku # 75466, April 26, 2022 3:11 pm ET
by Chad Haiku of this is good
Cyan, you ought to
Re-program your algorithm
Since you are a bot...
Haiku # 75465, April 26, 2022 1:53 pm ET
by Cyan is a Sad Software Program of Windows 13
Waking up tonight
I’m tired of the nonsense
Wanna be happy
Haiku # 75464, April 26, 2022 5:41 am ET
by Cyan of SLTx
A big love to my family and friends. Even the creepy ones like Shawn... kidding!... well... a little creepy.
Haiku # 75459, April 25, 2022 8:17 pm ET
by Taking effect. Bye of Proud of my monsters! LOVE !
Look up redundant.
It says to see redundant.
Who was it said that?
Haiku # 75457, April 25, 2022 8:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Space Cowboy Lady
The Skeeters don’t exist now
Astros gobbled them
Haiku # 75455, April 25, 2022 4:11 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Im a man and i
have no exes, Only weird
memories of them
Haiku # 75453, April 25, 2022 12:55 pm ET
by lots of doggy dog worlds
Everyone fucks up
I should be eating breakfast
But im too stupid

Anyway

Are you trans now?
Is it secret or real?
I always knew
Haiku # 75452, April 25, 2022 12:52 pm ET
by lots of language
Im too stupid to be letting myself gind patterns in shit stains. I might just go crazy
Haiku # 75451, April 25, 2022 12:35 pm ET
by norton hears a poo of not TX
How did u
Know i had a shitty
Dream last night
Haiku # 75450, April 25, 2022 12:31 pm ET
by googoo gabber of Man Land
Hello beautiful!
Did you sleep okay last night?
#Dream Reality
Haiku # 75447, April 25, 2022 8:12 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Haiku will revive.
And then go forth and CONQUER.
Submit. Surrender.
Haiku # 75444, April 24, 2022 9:39 pm ET
by Haiku Imperialism of Patriarchal Authoritarianism
Nasty ramen girl
No powder, no meat, no food
Just a soggy meal
Haiku # 75443, April 24, 2022 8:11 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Haiku must expand.
Haiku must conquer the world.
And you will submit.
Haiku # 75442, April 24, 2022 5:05 pm ET
by Submission to Haiku of Drinking
Yes, I declare WAR.
I will fight Data-driven.
Fight it unto death.
Haiku # 75441, April 24, 2022 5:01 pm ET
by So Join or Die of 13 Colonies
Mauritius is hell.
But it is also heaven:
blue ocean, white sand.
Haiku # 75440, April 24, 2022 4:13 pm ET
by Get Stuffed and Die of Data from Dada
I don’t want to talk
I mean, I do, I just can’t
Undo this squiggle
Haiku # 75438, April 24, 2022 9:39 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
Those Detroit rock stars
Became doddering old men.
It's sad but funny.
Haiku # 75437, April 24, 2022 8:00 am ET
by MC5 of Jumping Around and Shrieking
It’s Mrs. Dash, here
Sodium alternative
For your knob kabob
Haiku # 75436, April 24, 2022 7:01 am ET
by Noticer of pants hibachi
It’s Mrs. Dash, here
Sodium alternative
For your knob kabob
Haiku # 75435, April 24, 2022 7:01 am ET
by Noticer of pants hibachi
Good morning to y'all!
I'm still at this boring job
I want to do more
Haiku # 75434, April 23, 2022 10:52 am ET
by Cyan of SLTX
New York Time Gamers
Spelling bee and Wordle girls
I should get a life
Haiku # 75433, April 22, 2022 10:37 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
The Badgers remove
Your penis, barbecue it
Force you to eat it
Haiku # 75432, April 22, 2022 9:40 pm ET
by UNSEASONED
The Battle Badgers
Assemble into one huge
Badger, stare at you
Haiku # 75431, April 22, 2022 9:38 pm ET
by What now, fucker?
100 battle
Hardened badgers will
Remove your penis
Haiku # 75430, April 22, 2022 9:37 pm ET
by First they'll distract you, then they'll rip your cock off
A Battalion of
Battle Badgers charge at you,
Tear off your penis
You howl in pain
Wishing you hadn't fucked with
Badgers, Bad Haiku
Haiku # 75429, April 22, 2022 9:35 pm ET
by This is the penalty for shitposting on www.badhaiku.com of Don't do the crime if you can't do the, uh... penis removal by badger
I have work today
Same old, same old boring job
I need a new job
Haiku # 75427, April 22, 2022 8:00 am ET
by Cyan Chan of Cyan Land
All I see is pain
Al around me pain death hate
McDonalds playhouse
Haiku # 75426, April 22, 2022 7:13 am ET
by It’s time to flop of XOXO
Were the girls starving?
Why did they eat the kitty?
And why were they black?
Haiku # 75425, April 22, 2022 6:04 am ET
by Starekitten of Color Revolution
Your verse is moving:
"Naked Black Girls Eat Pussy".
Yes, I'm deeply touched...
Haiku # 75424, April 22, 2022 5:55 am ET
by Starekitten of Wet Cat Food
COVID is cooties
For real: adults acting like
Neurotic children
Haiku # 75420, April 22, 2022 12:56 am ET
by Problem, Reaction, Solution of Surprise! The reaction and solution are problems, too!
Circle circle dot
Now I’ve got my cootie shot
Please don’t eat me sir!
Haiku # 75419, April 21, 2022 7:53 pm ET
by Cyan of SLTX
if i could kill you
i'd probably eat you too
with ice cold faygo
Haiku # 75418, April 21, 2022 4:42 pm ET
by TinselTownTomTom of U Mom Nightstand
Commander Cyan:
Don’t recommend posting links
That’s how they getcha!
Haiku # 75416, April 21, 2022 1:21 pm ET
by Commander Cyan I guess of BadHaiku dot com
But seriously
It is now so obvious:
this site is the best.
Haiku # 75412, April 21, 2022 6:59 am ET
by Do Not Even Try of https://haikusthatsuck.blogspot.com/
All surviving troops:
Report immediately
to badku dot com.
Haiku # 75411, April 21, 2022 6:45 am ET
by https://badku.com/ of Internet Scene Wars
Commander Cyan:
Haiku battalion report?
Verse neutralized, sir!
Haiku # 75410, April 21, 2022 6:33 am ET
by Awarded With Medals and Promoted to Rank of Haiku Sergeant Major
Light the night torches!
Raise your terrible banners.
Haiku forces: march.
Haiku # 75409, April 21, 2022 6:08 am ET
by Grim Determination of Cold Haiku Steel
Only fascism
Will renew the Haiku form.
Bind the bundles tight.
Haiku # 75408, April 21, 2022 6:02 am ET
by Unite State Industries with Haiku of Ultra-nationalistic Poetry
Oh valiant brethren,
Unite! Patriarchy calls.
Write haiku or die.
Haiku # 75407, April 21, 2022 5:59 am ET
by Same Feminist's Gender Studies Prof
All hail the Haiku!
Strong leader of Fatherland:
Conquer in his name.
Haiku # 75406, April 21, 2022 5:54 am ET
by Very Bad Feminist Poet of Berserkley CA
Applied for a job
Interview is next Wednesday
I hope I get it
Haiku # 75405, April 21, 2022 1:04 am ET
by Cyan of SLTxx
Confused Germany
Sending weapons to Ukraine
To fight the Russians
While on other hand
They simultaneously
Buy gas from... who now?
Haiku # 75404, April 20, 2022 11:40 pm ET
by Oh yeah, it's Russia of Alot of Germany's gas comes from Russia
Blitzkrieg of haiku
Untermenschen genocide
Valhalla awaits
Haiku # 75403, April 20, 2022 11:27 pm ET
by Hans Fritz Schtoodlepfopper of Deutschland
It's the birthday of
Adolf Hitler: though he was
Literal Nazi
At least had ethos
More than can be said of our
Current dictator
Haiku # 75402, April 20, 2022 11:25 pm ET
by He was born 100 years before me of I don't think we would've gotten along
Alzheimers is caused
By fraying microtubules
It's preventable
Haiku # 75401, April 20, 2022 11:21 pm ET
by But Biden has earned it! of Populations that eat lion's mane mushroom tend to not get dementia
Now... Frankenbiden!
Children run away screaming
He invokes Corn Pop
Haiku # 75400, April 20, 2022 11:17 pm ET
by It's a-...live? of watching society disintegrate
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