Flying bananas
Have stained the walls around me
Stale, mushy debris

I wrote a rock song
called 'let's tit fuck the fat guy'
I should tone it down

Some people think that
I am living in the sun
But it is cold here

Hot origami
Spewing from the Canon's mouth
Aieee!!! Paper jam!

Cow Revolution!
We will be discarded on
History

If Fate was a cop
I'd shoot him with his gun, and
play with his siren.

cops make me nervous
in my trunk I still have those
two rotting pandas

If not for the wife
I'd start me a smack habit
Thanks a lot, you bitch

If you have taste buds
You may be up Jacob's Creek
Without a paddle.

*sip* *gag* *choke* Chateau
Cookaburra has hints of
Cat's piss and napalm.

Don't be shy, mate. Jump
Hard on them. They say it's a
Good Athlete's Foot cure.

Don't be shy, mate. Jump
Hard on them. They say it's a
Good Athlete's Foot cure.

Australian wine!
This is what it would taste like
If grapes could wee.

Oh Mr Ed, quit
Hassling me. Or it's the glue
Factory for you.

oh souterini
5 then 7 syllables
then 5 again please

and renovating
why is it that much slower
than interstellar travel

Turning 40
Face cracks
summer, winter
hair gone down sink

Moving, drifting cloud
Smells of bad eggs, with onions
Did somebody fart?

old recurring dream:
Fonz says 'sit on it' to me
first punch breaks his nose

sure I'm a doctor
now let's just take a look here
what the hell is that?

some son of a bitch
kicked my grandma in the balls
and stole all her pills

Silly person
Trying to write good haiku not bad
Go eat a poop

It is the weak who
Do not have the guts to say
What they really think

Why the Haiku's lack
of onomatopoeia?
Buzz! Click! Burp! Chirp! Poot!

Leaves fall pattering
The forests brown red and gold
Autumn in the wind

Unprepossessing
Showers are overrated
Revel in the stink

The Man pissed me off
anger's tasty medicine
I fist-fuck his face

I get all dyslexic
when it comes to choosing words
With Haiku in mind

auf boarisch hoasst des
imma no gstanzl macha
mia macha des aa

(that

some folks call it strange
when a man like me tries to
piss in his own mouth

pick which co-worker
is most likely to come in
and shoot everyone

i hate the toothache
but surely not as much as
i hate the dentist

uninspiring
silly, stupid and mindless
bad haiku is great

princess dianna
please don't bring that up again
bulimic royal

Delfines nadan
y todos van por el mar
as

Good night's sleep, OK?
Don't talk or turn on the light
Computer's asleep.

hard night's whiskey binge
wake with a taste in my mouth
the devil's anus!

Is it just me, or
are pigs that sell ham products
very disturbing?

Little bastard dog
Chewing on himself all day
Lucky bastard dog

submissions working!
exciting, must up my pace
three thousand a day

Haiku is very nice
but let's stop this nonsense now
and get on living.

Egg and cheese on toast
Bacon and egg McMuffin
Good hangover cures

Distance between us
Thousands and thousands ofmiles
Still not far enough

Outside the rain falls
Tapping loudly on the roof
Disrupting my sleep

Just wanted to see
The stars in all their glory
But you keep me blind

Blue peanut butter
Brown jelly on purple toast
My ass in the milk

Hi Koo.How are you?
I am just fine.How are you?
Die you piece of shit

Bad mayonaise glops
Over my fingers and toes
Rancid, yet pleasing