If gran has a cock
grandpa has a ... wait, wait ...a ...
PUSSY! Let me see!!!

This little piggy
went to the market, this one
stayed home... aw fuck it!

Please dont make me go!
Each time it hurts even more.
Grandma has a cock!

Drophammer action
figure - with removable
testicles and spine.

Also packaged with
dog collar, and decision
making companion.

Strange morning greeting
Words without any real meaning
Life without a purpose

i love my dog too
he does not scratch like my cat
but his eyes bug out

Drophammer, you should
play Contra again. I know
that I was correct!

a detonation
of defecation splatters
my shoes... gotta change

hey mr. up up
you forgot the last "b, a"
to get 30 men

or perhaps i am
thinking of those Akari
warriors? ah, games

I love to eat meat
Sometimes I just lick on it
other times I lap

but CONTRAry to
popular belief, their skin
was not those colors

Up down up down up?
in-out holds my interest
especially FAST.

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left,
Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select,
Start. Yeah, Thirty Men!

I do love my cat
But she scratches me badly
must have her declawed

I am loving this page
So funny i laugh to tears
think of wife then sad

fell, eh? she.. oh! went
down so hard. thought she had choked,
twas only a gag

her fellas she tricks
makes them go right off their heads....
can't contain themselves ......

(ok it is offbeat maybe even out of whack)

Move right then move left
leather chair won't make another
rich rude sound again

dark brown stain in back
faint yellow stain the front
wash boxers tonight

I nearly died, i
escaped the vaccuum of
big fat nostrils

i like beer alot
it makes me glad when i'm not
except when it's hot

I like beer alot.
It makes me glad when I'm not
Except when it's hot.

sorry can't help it
haiku has a sleeper hold
send this bad verse? yup

reaching for the sky
unrepentent canopy
soon so much woodchip

light jazz bitch at work
her large ass is leaving soon
crank up ministry

good one rant! ketchup
haiku has to be the best
bad haiku ever++++

here I submit Haik!
might as do, there's nothing to
READ! nothing I like!

Burt Reynolds is God
Chewing Gum, Moustache,Glory
That's some fine Chest Hair.

The Japanese make
wonderful sex toys which you
can buy on eBay.

Sex with my wife
Is it really worth the trouble?
No, I'll just spank it.

had to

Wasabi revenge
my ass feels like the back end
of the Batmobile!!!

Carry some whisky
in case of snake bite. Also,
Carry a small snake

If you need Ketchup
shake the bottle. None will come
and then a lot'll

How much Haiku can
people shovel out of shit?
That's where I get mine :)

soft knock on the door
at last! -- eyes widen, then a smile
your breath matches mine

your arrival gift
chocolate covered cherry
all night to enjoy

Life on Tatooine
Moisture vaporator hell
Just one more season

Man that is just gross
You laugh at my tender bum
MAY YOU MUD FAUCET

spoonfeed the burn hole
stuff it with beans, they drip out
shorten the journey

Truth in these moments
I had refried beans for lunch
My poor misused hole

Priest action figure
New in stores, excessively
gay drink included.

Sean had to do it
But somebody already
Set up us the bomb...

I poke at Saint and
Solace, leaving myself wide
Open to their flames

Hello gentlemen!
All your base are belong to us!
I had to do it.....

Now in toy stores! New!
The Solace action figure
With pink ballet shoes!

insipid cold verse
soothing the imbecile and
poking out his eyes

dance the lambada
with my pants full of veggies
until my cuke pops

Tarot cards or no
you will not be bludgeoned by
a blue-assed monkey

Pansy piss bucket
He drives the car pool today
We're going to hell

i like a big ass,
shaking, turning to and fro
Come sit on my face.