he thinks in haiku.
submits shitty ones? answer's
blowing out his ass

mommy never changed
ME! - wah! wah! Wah! WAh! WAH! WAH!
-you get the result-

what's the plan? too much
distraction to save the world:
american plan.

waiting for Janice
to return my messages
guess there's no one home

chaos batters me
30 minutes and i leave
for long restful night

freeze, then warm, then freeze.
soon i will crack like cement.
and weeds will flourish

My balogna smells
like cologne reminding me
of a phogna bogne

Windows ME is
to suck, as short and curly
is to pubic hair

Win2K formats
Freshly partitioned hard drive.
Soon it will awake.

Pete and Repete were
in a boat, pete jumped out, so
who was left aboard?

Pete and Repete were
in a boat, pete jumped out, so
who was left aboard?

Pete and Repete were
in a boat, pete jumped out, so
who was left aboard?

Lucky for you and
Bad Haiku, I'm sick of words
that rhyme with FREEZING!

Lucky for you and
Bad Haiku, I'm sick of words
that rhyme with FREEZING!

On top of that the
Constipation, teeth chatter
and butt cheeks, SQEEZING

On a jacket I
Must put to surely keep my
cold ass from SNEEZING

Office equipped with
Central air, makes me wish I
Had more hair. FREEZING!

it was the server's
fault. now so sorry to be
a double poster.

memorialize
joey with bad haiku or
paint on black velvet.

just like jesus or
jfk. elvis always
looks cool when painted.

memorialize
joey with bad haiku or
paint on black velvet.

just like jesus or
jfk. elvis always
looks cool when painted.

TV shows what sells
to people... now doesn't that
make us MORE evil?

joey's spirit lives
rest in peace joey ramone
punk changed everything

bloated colon bursts
through clenched anus, spraying you
with my grit. sorry.

TV is evil
It creates greedy zombies,
monsters with no sense

Yummy chocolate
Trickling down my double chin
Never say diet!

inspirational
not amotivational
inhalational

ev'ry now and then
in a moment of pure zen
i raise up the pen

too predictably
inevitability
life's evolution

She is a Hi-Fi
Samuri and He is a
warrior poet

together they will
sit at the edge of the world
and share a dubie

lone gunman, just me
companions in haiku crime
are gone now, just me

gazing at my palm
reflecting on reflections
holding my stylus

A busy day needs
a good dose of bad haiku
to help set the tone.

fingerfood moves out -
gives the finger, takes the food and
retires for the night.

fasten your seat belts!
concorde swoops down the runway!
um... what's that thi-...CRASH!

the red bulb flickers
and mournfully breathes its last.
the dark room's darker.

Deep contemplation
What's that scratching in my ass?
oh - my fingernail.

pillow-talk's nice but
we should discuss religion -
let's talk about sects.

launch me to the moon
so I can truly find out -
Is there a man there?

Damn pressure extreme.
Sphincter torqued to red line now!
Hydrolaser shit.

Poor silly baBoon!
Prozac? Elavil? Zoloft?
Play nice or suffer.

caressed lovingly
his tools are greased and oily
O he'll come again

this whippersnipper
wildly weilding that big thing
makes me go crazy

he comes every week
fires that thing up and buzzes
till he finishes

better yet-

rain flowers of spring
like vulvas of silver pee;
feel when urine me!

the flowers of spring
like vulvas of silver pee...
feel when urine me!

not fine, no cure no
soul. Hope there's no tomorrow,
Superduperman!

Is this a job for
Superman? No. But mellie
haiku will do fine.

Tune in tomorrow
for poo poo jokes. Much laughter.
A cure for the soul.

More sensitive souls
might convey more love and hope.
My sad failure.

This affliction, so
seemingly immutable,
serves growth of spirit.

i wish this sickness
would end and leave me in peace
tuberculosis?

dammit, i'm so mad
cute guy who flirted with me
stood me up. bastard.