Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 78 Days and 78054 Haiku later...
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 78 Days and 78054 Haiku later...
Soon, soon my birthday
Unite. Unite Capricorns!
With me and JESUS!!
Unite. Unite Capricorns!
With me and JESUS!!
by of Brooklyn, U.S.A.
One eye brow raised, the
snotty waiter condescends:
"Are these your pants, sir?"
snotty waiter condescends:
"Are these your pants, sir?"
by
You're entertaining,
unabashed, lewd, crude (tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
unabashed, lewd, crude (tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
by of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
Boy! Did I ever
trash that last haiku
But I'msadder Budweiser
trash that last haiku
But I'msadder Budweiser
by of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
You're entertaining,
lewd, crude, rude,(tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
lewd, crude, rude,(tattooed?)
Merry X-mas all
by of Cloverdale, U. S. A.
come here, little gal
wriggle into Santa's lap
there's a gift for you
wriggle into Santa's lap
there's a gift for you
by
come here, little gal
sit in Santa's cozy lap
I've a gift for you.
sit in Santa's cozy lap
I've a gift for you.
by
wonder if xmas
is that mas i used to know
before it left me?
is that mas i used to know
before it left me?
by of Oz
Kiwi Soup Goddess
Barrel of potatoe grass
figure it out yourself
Barrel of potatoe grass
figure it out yourself
by of St. John's, Canada
Drinking Brill Cream
Has To be very contagious
Teddy Ruxpin has chicken legs
Has To be very contagious
Teddy Ruxpin has chicken legs
by of St. John's, Canada
a merry christmas
and a happy new year too
my fellow poets
and a happy new year too
my fellow poets
by of Oz
go through ear, stab brain
three-tined fork, keep gauze handy
jagged lights, seizure
three-tined fork, keep gauze handy
jagged lights, seizure
by
Happy holidays
To those whose bad haikus made
Me bleed from the ears.
To those whose bad haikus made
Me bleed from the ears.
by of London, UK
Hmmm. As I scroll down
I notice that they follow.
Maybe the trailing?
I notice that they follow.
Maybe the trailing?
by
Kadiz, didn't you
mean the previous haikus
Not the following?
mean the previous haikus
Not the following?
by
Work before Christmas?
Cocks. Great big swollen purple
Horses' cocks on sticks.
Cocks. Great big swollen purple
Horses' cocks on sticks.
by of London, UK
the following two
by ashley and Rev'rend Jim
are really quite good
by ashley and Rev'rend Jim
are really quite good
by
from herein i guess
things go down in history
like a lewinski
things go down in history
like a lewinski
by
Why so evasive
Mr President? Maybe
You should have come clean.
Mr President? Maybe
You should have come clean.
by of London, UK
They ask: "What evil
Lurks in the hearts of men?" This
Your drycleaner knows.
Lurks in the hearts of men?" This
Your drycleaner knows.
by of London, UK
Lie, even perjure
Himself over Monica?
Nice euphemism.
Himself over Monica?
Nice euphemism.
by of London, Terra Incognita
even tinier
threw a saddle on a louse
rode him through your pubes
threw a saddle on a louse
rode him through your pubes
by
Hallucination?
Snowing in San Francisco.
Really. I saw it.
Snowing in San Francisco.
Really. I saw it.
by
nostrils ebb and flow
the drip, drip, drip, of mucus
it's sinus rhythm
the drip, drip, drip, of mucus
it's sinus rhythm
by of Oz
dreamt I was tiny
had a saddle for my cat
rode him through the woods
had a saddle for my cat
rode him through the woods
by
a blow to the head
was not the president's crime
'twas his denial
was not the president's crime
'twas his denial
by of Oz
poetic justice
first you get to taste peaches
and then inpeachment
first you get to taste peaches
and then inpeachment
by of Oz
President impeached
At the taxpayer's expense
K. Starr should be shot
At the taxpayer's expense
K. Starr should be shot
by
that goo on her dress
should have been the only mess
that came from her mouth
should have been the only mess
that came from her mouth
by
Not too old to stay
In touch with my inner slut
making geezer porn
In touch with my inner slut
making geezer porn
by
art art art finance
finance finance what
the Hell possessed me?
finance finance what
the Hell possessed me?
by of London, Engerland
People who can't spell
"purjure", like Paula Keller,
shouldn't have opinions.
"purjure", like Paula Keller,
shouldn't have opinions.
by
art art art finance
finance finance what
the Hell possessed me?
finance finance what
the Hell possessed me?
by of London, Engerland
Art art art finance
finance finance what
the Hell possessed me?
finance finance what
the Hell possessed me?
by of London, Engerland
Adulterous lies
Manufactured impeachment
Both sides are evil
Manufactured impeachment
Both sides are evil
by of Salt Lake City, USA
here flappin' my lips
blowin' hot air out my ass
pissin' in the wind
blowin' hot air out my ass
pissin' in the wind
by
Drunk on the job from
downing six dozen booze-filled
holiday chocolates
downing six dozen booze-filled
holiday chocolates
by
Why did he risk all --
Lie, even purger himself --
Over Monica?
Lie, even purger himself --
Over Monica?
by of Phoenix, USA
the first line's got five
and the second's got seven
but the third line's all fucked up 'cause it's got over twelve
and the second's got seven
but the third line's all fucked up 'cause it's got over twelve
by
Night falls on Baghdad
There's no rest for the wicked
Or the innocent
There's no rest for the wicked
Or the innocent
by
Dreary, bleak, city
sky makes me feel like I'm in
a Batman movie
(the first one, of course)
sky makes me feel like I'm in
a Batman movie
(the first one, of course)
by
Straight through the hangar
Doors|there's the explosion. War
Is quite like bad sex.
Doors|there's the explosion. War
Is quite like bad sex.
by of London, Untied Kingdom
Two straight years taking
sinus medication; I
can smell my nosehair
sinus medication; I
can smell my nosehair
by
A distraction, yes
Or a book calledBill and the Giant Impeachment
Or a book calledBill and the Giant Impeachment
by
poetic paradox
with too many syllables
or else not enough
with too many syllables
or else not enough
by of sydney, Oz