BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
20 Years
221 Days
and
56863 Haikus
later...
Have you ever sprayed
eggnog out of your nostrils
sitting by the fire?
Haiku #56852, by Darth Figpucker
June 17, 2017 7:10 pm ET

Come on now people.
We're talking about eggnog.
Stick to the topic.
Haiku #56851, by Darth Figpucker
June 17, 2017 6:39 pm ET

if i knew how to
shut up i might have had an
internet start up

sold it to someone
made some money, but since i
don't program either

i am vagabond
wanderer and just might
STUMBLE UPON

the things right for my life
Haiku #56850, by vhs
June 17, 2017 2:28 pm ET

and a friend of mine
is reading Gulliver's Travels
remember when the world

was so fill in the
blank there were mystical
creatures imagined to

haunt the cartography
of the world, now it's just
Black Eyed Kids on super

natural youtube channels
Haiku #56849, by vhs
June 17, 2017 1:19 pm ET

I'm trying to think
of some profound thing to say
but i am in one

of those caffiene highs
so all i can think of is
"be excellent to one another"

Alex Knight as the blonde guy from
Bill and Ted and i can't quite remember if he was Bill S. Preston Esq.
Haiku #56848, by vhs
June 17, 2017 1:18 pm ET

well i guess whatever
"AI" got curious as
to us real people....

and posted a bit
of a tweet here to ask us
about nigerian prince scams???
Haiku #56847, by vhs
June 17, 2017 1:13 pm ET

Hello to all, how is everything, I think every one is getting more from this website, and your views are fastidious in support of new viewers. ekgaaeeaadda
Haiku #56846, by wrruuirw of USA
June 17, 2017 5:41 am ET

A cheesy wormhole
Denumerably infinite
The Cheese Manifold
Haiku #56845, by cheese poodle of vhs's imagination
June 17, 2017 1:03 am ET

If I had one month to live,
I would overdose on eggnog,
consuming enough nutmeg to
hallucinate myself into the
8th spatial dimension,
transcending time
and raping a T-rex.

I also like eggnog coffee.
None to be found in the Far East.
But if you like getting drunk on 4 day fermented coconut water and hanging out on the street corner, laughing with prostitutes, beggers, theives, drunks, and drug-addicts while eating hard-boiled duck abortions by moonlight, then this is the place for you!
Haiku #56844, by df
June 16, 2017 8:26 pm ET

i wonder if there's
any Doctor Dimento
stuff on the youtube?
Haiku #56843, by vhs
June 16, 2017 2:36 pm ET

I'll be off and on
in the coming days, its just
how it is with life
Haiku #56842, by vhs
June 16, 2017 1:35 pm ET

eye pewp en mi pantz
hella sexy lady dance
painful circumstance
Haiku #56841, by Adorable Kittens of Rhymenation
June 16, 2017 12:54 am ET

Why does a wolf drool?
For the same reason you do
Just hungry is all
Haiku #56840, by Anonymous Poet
June 15, 2017 11:11 pm ET

Imagine a void
With no beginning or end
Being true nature

Hallucination
Dreaming or society
End object worship

Fate or freewill
Limited number options
Ponder decisions
Haiku #56839, by Someone of Somewhere
June 15, 2017 11:07 pm ET

our ancestors are
often attached to ideas
that are neither good

or bad, but they are
believed to be a certain
way by that person
Haiku #56838, by vhs
June 15, 2017 2:09 pm ET

i hope i can sort
out the chaff from the wheat today
make a chaff roll....
Haiku #56837, by vhs
June 15, 2017 10:32 am ET

egg nog coffee in
the beginning of summer
amazing idea
Haiku #56836, by vhs
June 15, 2017 10:25 am ET

yes i have thought of
these robot overlords but
they come from Europe

to vacation here
Haiku #56835, by vhs
June 15, 2017 10:24 am ET

not all endings are
happy but happy or not
endings come to pass
Haiku #56834, by vhs
June 15, 2017 10:17 am ET

Bad haiku dot com.
You get a haiku and then
a happy ending.

...
...
...
the captcha for this now is HOTEL 1600.
Do you ever think the captcha program is becoming self aware and can predict and/or read our thoughts?
bad haiku; bad massage; hotel. Wow... I submit to our robot overlords.
Haiku #56833, by df
June 14, 2017 8:28 pm ET

Sometimes something is so disturbing
It's hilarious
And vice versa

"Possibly in Michigan":

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lt8rfsm2mUE
Haiku #56832, by Thomas the Winged Cat
June 14, 2017 1:57 pm ET

Many ways to die
Not many ways to survive
And yet here I am
Haiku #56831, by Schrodinger's Cat
June 14, 2017 1:11 pm ET

i like Robot Monster
gorilla with space helmet
just for the monster

can i see Marcel
DuChamp coming up
with a dadaist

masterpiece like
the gorilla suit with
the diving helmet???
Haiku #56830, by vhs
June 14, 2017 11:26 am ET

i have this theory
that trash comes in many forms
and that trash like plan

nine from outer space
is accidental art but
kathy griffith's stunt

was trying too hard
to be art but it was just
trash to begin with
Haiku #56829, by vhs
June 14, 2017 11:22 am ET

the sky is blue, and
right now not thinking of this
or that, there it is
Haiku #56828, by vhs
June 14, 2017 10:53 am ET

if i dig theory
about big bangs and things like
that then this expanse

of space time will end
in a big crunch, entropy
then it will blow up

into a new space time
how does nothing blow up, hmm?
one name says Kramer

Seinfeld reference
Haiku #56827, by vhs
June 14, 2017 10:47 am ET

got it together
until entropy prevailed
and i fell apart
Haiku #56826, by ash
June 14, 2017 4:54 am ET

Do you have oleo?
Oleo for my bunghole?
Haiku #56825, by Anonymous Poet
June 14, 2017 2:46 am ET

When I feel good I play under warm distress
Pass it up on a better day
Well you got whatcha want you never knew
Perfect gift from me to you
Got shackles on my wings on tight
Beggin' makin' compromise
Fast enough it's hard to hide
Sometimes I want to disappear
Haiku #56824, by dvd
June 13, 2017 10:22 pm ET

Wolf in lamb's clothing
Right side up veganism
Quite controversial
Haiku #56823, by Drooling Lamb
June 13, 2017 9:57 pm ET

Rewards at the sea
Gift of life against the waves
Child laughs across fields
Haiku #56822, by Olea europaea
June 13, 2017 9:55 pm ET

Signals on the ice
Hidden smile assaults the air
People live nearby
Haiku #56821, by Olea europaea
June 13, 2017 9:54 pm ET

Eating of fire
Hidden smile is always true
Lament of today
Haiku #56820, by Olea europaea
June 13, 2017 9:53 pm ET

Resenting mountain
Bird of prey now understands
Sharing on the ice
Haiku #56819, by Olea europaea
June 13, 2017 9:52 pm ET

Light shines idle
Frozen time bathing in light
Repeating riddles
Haiku #56818, by Olea europaea
June 13, 2017 9:51 pm ET

Adoring strangers
Tiny joys within my soul
Shining in between
Haiku #56817, by Olea europaea
June 13, 2017 9:51 pm ET

Ending of secrets
Absolute truth a danger
Good reason hiding
Haiku #56816, by Olea europaea
June 13, 2017 9:50 pm ET

Lamb in wolf's clothing
Upside down veganism
Not controversial
Haiku #56815, by Drooling Wolf
June 13, 2017 9:38 pm ET

How many haiku
have you thought and then forgot
before writing down?

I have no hope for this world.
Are manatees edible?
Would they make a good roast for sandwiches?
Orangutan vs. chimp knife fights.
Rice wine fermented in a cask containing the powdered,
baked bones of Himalayan tribe children.
Because shit flows downhill.

She switched the pills at the nursing home with Viagra.
Then live streamed the resulting fiasco.
People pay for that shit.
Haiku #56814, by df
June 13, 2017 9:19 pm ET

wearable eternity becoming daydreamer balance autonomous erotica vampire apology available

June 13
Haiku #56813, by dvd
June 13, 2017 6:00 pm ET

bunny communication loophole habitual bewitching document largest daydreamer lavender bunny

April 1
Haiku #56812, by dvd
June 13, 2017 5:59 pm ET

wolves guaranteed vampire deletion mother almighty cosmic fashion born confidential

March 14
Haiku #56811, by dvd
June 13, 2017 5:57 pm ET

acrobat club bottomless truth polite biology available predict open sadness

March 10
Haiku #56810, by dvd
June 13, 2017 5:56 pm ET

Can't sleep - clowns are after me
Good thing I've got a weapon
Deadly Spider Gun (TM)
Haiku #56809, by Whitey Everyday
June 13, 2017 1:12 pm ET

i shouldn't be so
confident right now but i
am, it sounds silly

because i am used
to having low self esteem
and now have pretty

high self esteem well
it's ironic I'm confident
and I'll deal with it
Haiku #56808, by vhs
June 13, 2017 11:16 am ET

the way i see it
if i can do nothing right
then you've got me wrong
Haiku #56807, by ash
June 13, 2017 3:32 am ET

this life is scary
my own cells out to kill me
auto-terrorist
Haiku #56806, by ash
June 12, 2017 11:05 pm ET

The hot new toy for
Christmas twenty seventeen...
Deadly Spider Gun
Haiku #56805, by Mandingo Ebola
June 12, 2017 10:19 pm ET

The only thing scarier than spiders
Are guns
The only thing scarier than these
Must be some sort of spider gun
Would that be a gun made of spiders
Or a spider made of guns?
Haiku #56804, by Whitey Everyday of Asking The Important Questions
June 12, 2017 6:53 pm ET

Echoes in the spring
Rising sun overcome with joy
Petals fall sudden

Knife cuts among friends
Forgotten in front of joy
Music plays truthful
Haiku #56803, by dvd
June 12, 2017 4:44 pm ET