suped up stage coach sends
horse and rider careering
toward brilliant

I signify one
revolution per minute
quantum psychic tao

heavenly tee-shirts
you won't be needing: wear one
says: "want fries with that?"

pope beatified
two maltese priests and one nun
time to celebrate

while you're here, jesus,
could'ja pray for ole paver?
i think he has gas.

hey jesus. how's the
weather up there in heaven?
do i need t-shirts?

hold on there jesus,
i got a question for you.
how's you mom doing?

Bubbles in my beer
expand exponentially
in my large belly

Slowly pressure builds
Gas escapes, I lift a cheek
the volcano blows

spring. there, i said it.
something to do with seasons
one valid haiku

Punchline, hey, Jesus
Has holes, as do sponges, and
soaked up our sin there...

i know, me busy too
but good day in general

plans tonight are trashed
so i'm wide open for
fun and games

long day without com
ive been busy as i can be
hot dogs dont set well

its wednesday and that
means the old man and I will
be walking the dog

I walked on water
but now I sink; because of
these holes in my feet.

That walking on water
That old trick, the Master taught
And someone followed...

I did not know that
you could double click across
all of this haiku

How much do you have?
Wow. I think that is too much.
Doesn't it smell funny?

How much do you have?
Wow. I think that is too much.
Doesn't it smell funny?

Voodoo done in haste
I draw on my Etch-a-sketch
friends to be erased

crystal clear water
gutter in front of sand bank
perfect wave breaking

notice dark shadow
did Jesus walk on water?
so did someone else

Man, this fake name here
You know who I am and yet
I am pleased to just be...

There's that blind faith thing
again, happy mood swing and
down she goes again...

news you won't hear now
in the National Press Club.
Can't miss it? They will!

news media says
it is "dominated" by
the left. that sound right?

in a time honored
event, which unreported
went, news was abused.

This is my first try
I know you'll find it funny
The muse has left now..

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and data loss.
Guess which has occurred.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

My computer don't
work. Hold it upside down and
Shake? Oh... now it works.

etch-a-sketch master
I can draw a smile just by
turning your two dials

photosynthesis
makes colour, fragrance, splendour
and fine alkaloids

defragmentation
is taking eternity
'puter is spun out

please let me say this
I've something to tell you but
can't be bothered now

don't fool yourself girl
frankly, zap and it's winter
mothball boogie board

neither the dead of
winter nor the summer heat
seasons' edges best

neither the dead of
winter or the summer heat.
seasons' edges best

better than perfect
now this is surely heaven
today's perfection

overcast winter sky
cold grey cumuli scudding
heralding downpours

WEEK TWO - writers' strike!
There ISN'T one?!.. then, tv
didn't get better*!?

maybe our only
warningbut bad boys should learn
from their miscreants.

cosmic things brewing
May 9th you should be viewing
if it's aired newsing.

I once sreamed a sream
cinamaxian tv
she is sometimes bi

Damn this office place
where low hanging ceiling fans
substitute for fun

I hate hate hate hate
my fucking fucking fucking
job job job job job

i am by the way
happy with any response
that YOU send for me

Five in the first line
Seven go in the second
And then five again

Like your poetry
Pool labor's sweet
We've got all tonight
Not to sleep

he'll be there again
when i get home. and working
for my attention

i do like the help
but the intrusion is not
welcome this evening

Crystaline and blue
almost evil, mostly goo
wicked space tofu

The cunning linguist
was a master lip-reader,
and could speak in toungues.

her love wraps gently
around my heart and senses
that it beats for her

her thighs though, sqeeze
me like a tourniquet and
I can't feel my legs

May She be with you
In the stars of creation
Every step, every breath

I had a great dream
last night I had a great dream
woke with a hard on

Down boy I say to
it, but nothing... think about
baseball... think baseball