oysters succulent
salmon melting on my tongue
eating the ocean

the pulse is racing
the juices start flowing in
anticipation

metamorphosis
tell butterflies "plus ca change"
and they'll laugh at you

OK, this is good:
a man walks into a bar -
wait, how does it go?

.......azure canopy
eternal in the heavens
rough and rugged road

anticipation
surpasses the fulfillment
fantasy denied

ice pack labia
ready to pull up your skirt
at water fountain

perhaps kittenguts
should be rescued from the Earth
for a slower death.

the bra is quite full
mounds of silky, supple flesh
want chicken delight!

marcia brady's nose
it got hit by a football
i'd still bang her ass

"fuku" is the word
the Japanese word for "skirt"
i am a pervert

harry is a cunt
you should have saved nurse lisa
die muthafucker!!!!

in the Vogon ship
i gaze on my home planet
before its demise.

it's a blue marble
shrouded with marshmallow fluff
and crawling with ants.

the Earth in my sights,
ready for demolition -
any last haiku?

12503- Marie Fjordholm and
12369- tamarama - you've got MALE!
@8530-but no one loves ME*
----*nude plunge!

frantically, i push
the switch over and over.
what's that clicking sound?

Horse power like a train
culminating to push out
last of the Kling-ons.

It finally comes.
Unexpected; still, I'm thankful
Where is my TP?!!

should the earth be spared?
with my finger on the switch,
I think of cheez whiz

wristled slurgemonkey,
goadled in thy bluggerwort -
i slook with plegma.

a new aversion
windows critical update
ah.... newer version

Avalanche of work
Do your own frikkin' typing
Lazy Boss's wife.

under the ocean
is the agreement "squid pro quo"
when molluscs shell out

quest denied again
Green Monster crucifixion
Ruth you cocksucker

where's my pencil, quick
gotta write down these rare gems
damn,let go of pants

goth is so boring.
Hell is just another place
how bad could it be?

love is life is death
i saw it in a movie.
bwick sure had it right.

go to Hell right now
feel the fire & the coals
devil's weenie roast

the sweet kiss of death
how close it is all the time
lipstick shade of RED

i hate damn mullets
freaky rat-tails gotta go
the barber is blind

in my Vogon mode
i say, "Frettled Gruntbuggly,
I'll gnop your wee-wee."

romeo is dead
he messed with me, now he's gone
spank me, juliet!

squee has a teddy
his name is "shmee", can you hear?
he says to "kill" things

the message is clear
not found, not found- you are lost
error 404

between you and i
and him and her and that thing
is a Twister mat.

the difference between
you and me is that i'm not
you and you're not me

there's no "I" in "team",
but there is a "u" in "us",
and also in "squid".

Oh joy oh rapture
Exhileration as I
go home after work...

Window Washing Man
Why do you wash those windows?
It's a waste of time

looking at windows
i'd rather have perl than gates
in my own heaven

Excel is calling
but the wonders of the Web
are drowning it out.

Green blobs of mucus
I dodge on the road as I
make my way to work

Cape Town is the town
of spitters. May I suggest
some Kleenex instead?

Sloth-like and ultra
tempremental, my PC
needs replacing, quick.

Like Linda Blair you
make me want to projectile
vom. Johan, get lost.

i beg to differ
the differences between us
mean you are not me

i mean me not i
pretentious pseudosyntax
is still incorrect

S & W
between us or we poets
grammar is a crock

between you and me,
i have to tell you that it's
"between you and i".

between us poets
grammar's a tricky old thing
what happened down south?