when the cold descends
where fog hangs in the valley
sit near the heater

At John and Chuck''s place
The Lobster''s are three pounds each
You''d think it''s Heaven!

If mercy exists
and may be nobly bestowed
build me walls, oh lord

Jesse and James fly
Team Rocket blasts off again
Meowth goes with them

I like Pokemon
Pikachu makes me happy
So does Team Rocket

once I heard so clear
the phatness of a kick ass
smooth bass line thumpin

spammed with an offer
webcast from a toilet bowl
why do they bother?

Congratulations,
Your new wife is a racist
Good Luck and God Bless.

Your wallet is in
your blue pants. "My blue
pants? I
got this many pants on?"

Should I buy CDs?
Or try Forbidden Planet?
I hate decisions.

A sound, a whisper
Two gossamer threads entwine
Then forever part

Why all the swearing?
It''s neither big nor clever
Only tedious

Fuck you! My head hurt!
Fuck you! My head hurt real bad!
Fuck you! How is that!?

Hey Pop''s that''s not 5!
Do you hear me? Look at it!
You''re out of bounds here!

My fucking head hurts.
I will never drink again.
Do you hear me! NEVER!!!

before solarfilm
stretched coloured tissue or silk
high on acetone

aerodynamic
check my lift coefficient
stroke my empennage

so I''m wondering
does the worm in tequila
hold special powers?

The guy at the desk
named Virgil came from out West
to teach us the ropes

Strung out from the road
I type the brittle letters
Can you read my thoughts?

Elvis left the house.
With the white knight and a phone.
What happened Friday?

all i want to do
all i want to do is run
run from jellyman

i watched cock theatre
a million dollar mirror
(massaging my tripe)

will somebody please
get this man some help you know
he''s got no damn head

bang bang bang bang bang
bang bang bang bang bang bang bang
good ol'' u.s.a.

smaller and smaller
tinier and tinier
infinitesmal

On the Clubhouse steps
Ernie taught us life''s lesson,
.....that we ALL bleed RED.

In notes Cristo sang,
"I''m going hungry yeah, yeah"
Get that man some food!

With my monkey''s hand
I can conjure up the truth
Just the way I want

LC played eighteen
ran home and washed the monkey
then ate some pork pie

Billion dollar babe
took me to the promised land
in yesterday''s dream

In your land you see
fat, monkey-faced women, eh?
You must be English!

gooey sweet surprise
chocolate center when I
opened up his brain

back in my dark cube
a post-it note marked ''REVOLT!''
reach for the stapler

Smegma from Kansas
Is what orangey bits are
And you eat it. Eugh

Satan''s own urine:
Snapple''s main ingredient.
True

Poor misguided fool
Everyone knows that Snapple
Is God

I have an album.
''Let''s All Make Love in London'',
it''s called. Psychadelic.

Masturbationing
Isn

You talk out your arse;
Jaffa Cakes are flinky
- Better than Snapple.

I

Jaffa Cakes are vile
Spit out the orangey bit
Or you

Thugs abound round here
Fat, monkey-faced women, too.
Inbreeding is rife.

Ooh, mm, Jaffa Cakes
Ninety-one percent fat-free
and orangey, too

baked at the pet store
they drug test their employees
glad I just shop here

" " " "
''''''''''''''
" " " " "

Licking stuff is fun
Especially when it

The apostrophe
Is such a hard thing to use
For Americans

Pass the red pesto
The purple mastodon said
And so I passed it

You could press people
If you had a twisted mind
and a big fat book