one armed jack is good
can grab money handily
no dealer needed

A hot craps table
Is better than a good poo
Roll seven shooter.

serendipity
has a five syllable count
how perfect is that?

old man from Dublin
no one could quite understand
his Gaelic mumblin'

big woman from York
couldn't resist juiciest
slabs of rare pink pork

stupid ass morons
take your haiku and shove it
where the sun don't shine

you're all worthless trash.
bob and the pit: dust someday.
don't fuck with the woods.

that toothless fool bob
tried and tried but just couldn't.
Want a piece of me?

don't write about me!
I had nothing to eat there!
those evil old woods.

six days in the woods
Bob tries to eat a peach pit
poor toothless old Bob

?

babel fish thy name
is somehow so familiar
have we met before

remember thy ply
thy nactarations offon
and babel 5 fish

ookie zon 5-9
and nonsense making more sense
than sense in this age

stirring coffee i
have created a vortex
that will never stop

ash bends over, farts!
Storms in Africa, and the
Butterflies all die.

grandma's got a gland,
grandma use's xp but
grandma has a gland.

may the road meet you
may your neighbor's wife greet you
may you not get caught

i apologize
for my inability
to spell function right

using search fuction
to find words not used before
I came up with gland

zen-like poetry
drawing circles in the sand
kitty's box all clean

when you bend over
if you listen to your arse
you won't hear the sea

bed is beckoning
it calls with a siren's song
from within its depths

bad bad bad haiku
check out poetry dot com
makes this site look good

slots cyberpoker
crap tables, listen up Bung
Bung Daddy heaven

poet going off
you're a bloody bewdy bet
cheers, don't be scared

windows xp crashed -
should i "send error report"?
nah, i'll let bill sleep

it's retro haiku!
grandma's cock pops up again
and NT, once more

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

double-chin stretching
above both ears, Arial
Sharon -- Killer Whale.

Farts were once funny
till I filled cats with bean dip
and laid down the bomb

During photographs
meaty log lays on my leg
Grandma has a cock!

Polyester pants
with green floral prints reveal
Grandma has a cock!

Six vodka tonics
stale hair and cigarette smoke
double gutter ball

It's been a long year
full of fun and also fear
but not a short beer

Army of boy-bands
attract heat-seeking missiles
from star-destroyer

hair today, gone now
cholesterol turns brains off now
and makes one lose hair

bones of old lovers
could be put to some good use
basis for good stock?

i use computers
the reason i'm not clever
burning plasma death!

if i could stab you
for all of these great haiku
machete flame death!

sex with a stranger
like propositioning whores
names aren't important

senses are funny
you smell the fart i emit?
see the stink rays climb

but sheena honey
you said you liked surprises
so what's the big deal?

okay, i'm a fool
aren't you amusing kids?
i'd like to hurt you

or at least cause you
to feel the burning blushes
of self-hating shame

your joke was funny
you proved that i'm an idiot
thank you and ha ha

the key here of course
keep your knickers on at least
till the rubbing's done

maybe "she" was a
he? Or masseuse a she with
a big clitoris?

wonder what she did
when masseuse did get hard-on
who relieved just what

went for a massage
two hands had he busily
working out some kinks

was slightly surprised
when a bump did - a rise - swelled
hard against my head

the key here, of course,
is a truck towed from the back
(and twisted humor)

wait till they're asleep
tailgate a truck that's in tow
now scream your lungs out

sure, these are small charms
and not worth much nowadays
back to the haiku

calling code magic....
sorcerers apprentice stuff,
mickey-mouse logic.

if dot-comers were,
so "magic" why are they so
unemployable?