Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 253 Days and 71024 Haikus later...

Lobster and artichokes
Slather with spirits
Canine hurls protein yak
Haiku # 23815, December 9, 2002 4:50 pm ET
by Goddess of all that is Battle Puppy of MI
Yaksunami and Artsy
Means puke and good taste
Can be together at last.
Haiku # 23814, December 9, 2002 4:26 pm ET
by Battlepuppy of MI
Ravioli Man
Cheesey Tortellini Gal
Greatest of Rivals
Haiku # 23813, December 9, 2002 4:10 pm ET
by Battlepuppy of MI
it is the return
Ravioli Man, hero
meaty champion
Haiku # 23812, December 9, 2002 3:49 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
mighty butt straining
no seepage here, sphincterclench
forcing excrement
Haiku # 23811, December 9, 2002 3:48 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
thankfully she smiles
down on the puppy of battles
this goddess of love
Haiku # 23810, December 9, 2002 3:47 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
Girlfriend of happy willow
waits with bated breath
Immortalize her
Haiku # 23809, December 9, 2002 3:39 pm ET
by Goddess of all that is BattlePuppy of Climax, MI
Remove the butt plug
Poopy granola badness
seeps forth, then torrent
Haiku # 23808, December 9, 2002 3:10 pm ET
by Battlepuppy of MI
Flexible willow
Has girlfriend, is happy
Stiff oak still alone
Haiku # 23807, December 9, 2002 3:08 pm ET
by Battlepuppy of MI
Hammer clenches cheeks
Empties bowels painfully
By loud vomiting
as he vomits

by vomiting.
Haiku # 23806, December 9, 2002 2:57 pm ET
by Battlepuppy of MI
oh, this is my bad
i did not see it was "bad"
i saw "butt" haiku
Haiku # 23805, December 9, 2002 2:34 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
o, what is the sound
of one hairy white cheek clenching
my ass is on fire
Haiku # 23804, December 9, 2002 2:33 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
a prophecy here
maestro shall not defeat
the battle puppy
Haiku # 23803, December 9, 2002 2:31 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
Puppy is so bad
He will fart in your corn flakes
Make them Cocoa Puffs.
Haiku # 23802, December 9, 2002 2:14 pm ET
by Battlepuppy
Puppy waits for maestro
to bring any kind of class
to badhaiku
Haiku # 23801, December 9, 2002 2:12 pm ET
by Battlepuppy
Fear me, the Battle Puppy
Boundless is my naked wrath
All shards, plaster, shit
Haiku # 23800, December 9, 2002 2:09 pm ET
by Battlepuppy
Poorly trained, this pup
Battlepuppy very bad
Pees on fresh cornflakes
Haiku # 23799, December 9, 2002 2:06 pm ET
by Battlepuppy
immense voltage drop
across conductive organs
required to shock me
Haiku # 23798, December 9, 2002 1:28 pm ET
by maestro
the hammer shall drop
upon canine cranium
"Down, Battlepuppy!"
Haiku # 23797, December 9, 2002 1:23 pm ET
by maestro
I'm feeling stupid
get me some coffee, damnit
or perhaps cornflakes
Haiku # 23796, December 9, 2002 1:18 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
stupid people say
here, make me copies of this
and get me coffee

stupid people pee
in your cornflakes or oatmeal
they sure are bastards
Haiku # 23795, December 9, 2002 1:17 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
initial dram: noon
courting imbecility
awash in spirits
Haiku # 23794, December 9, 2002 1:16 pm ET
by maestro
i'm just about there
people are pissing me off
stupid people suck!
Haiku # 23793, December 9, 2002 1:08 pm ET
by tiger of vegas
words that make you cringe
like "quivering" or "polyps"
as pop tart flavors
Haiku # 23792, December 9, 2002 12:07 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
will you stand before
the fury of his armies?
his naked buttocks?
Haiku # 23791, December 9, 2002 12:03 pm ET
by Drophammer of Akkadia
thus descends the god
battle puppy in bad verse
with a gay uncle
Haiku # 23790, December 9, 2002 12:00 pm ET
by Drophammer of steely stuff
Point at everyone else
For THEY are the true problems
Naw, couldn't be you.
Haiku # 23789, December 9, 2002 11:59 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Poor me, says bachelor
No one is good enough
But wait... he's an ass.
Haiku # 23788, December 9, 2002 11:57 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Fat, androgynous
Balding, glasses on smug nose
Wit, yes, but looks... no.
Haiku # 23787, December 9, 2002 11:55 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Girls run screaming
After a single one-nighter
Musta been with Ed
Haiku # 23786, December 9, 2002 11:52 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Sits on a man-pole
Has to get it from somewhere
Girls always run
Haiku # 23785, December 9, 2002 11:45 am ET
by Battlepuppy
I go way too far?
I have much farther to go
Ain't seen nothin yet.
Haiku # 23784, December 9, 2002 11:39 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Smelly man-juice hits
like a wet, breadless sandwich
Right on Ed's forehead.
Haiku # 23783, December 9, 2002 11:38 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Hung like a squirrel
He dives for the clitoris
Says he's an oak tree
Haiku # 23782, December 9, 2002 11:36 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Sitting there quiet,
Birds chirping, playing banjo
Uncle is still gay.
Haiku # 23781, December 9, 2002 11:34 am ET
by Battlepuppy
My ass cheeks spread wide
plaster pours forth, shards aplenty
shit plaster shards... ow.
Haiku # 23780, December 9, 2002 11:31 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Previous haiku
not meant to make fun of 9-11
My uncle is gay.
Haiku # 23779, December 9, 2002 11:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fields aplenty, patches
People looking like small ants
From a crashing plane
Haiku # 23778, December 9, 2002 11:29 am ET
by Battlepuppy
Tribute to heroes
Standing tall amidst masses
My steely man-pole
Haiku # 23777, December 9, 2002 11:26 am ET
by Battlepuppy
frothy excrement
speedy jet of greenish goo
pants are smoldering
Haiku # 23776, December 9, 2002 11:22 am ET
by Drophammer of somewhere you never want to be
Two more languages
could maybe sometime be tried -
but only one I'll dare
Haiku # 23775, December 9, 2002 9:05 am ET
by R. of PT
Until now used four,
Some are easy some are not
All are really fun
Haiku # 23774, December 9, 2002 9:02 am ET
by R. of PT
Spanish Portuguese
Can be really special fun
but need time to think
Haiku # 23773, December 9, 2002 8:58 am ET
by R. of PT
Other languages
can be called appropriate too -
Will try that one day
Haiku # 23772, December 9, 2002 8:55 am ET
by R. of PT
French too many syl's
Italian nobody knows
English more popular
Haiku # 23771, December 9, 2002 8:50 am ET
by R. of PT
De quelle humeur t'es?
Ne les laisse pas decider
pour toute la journee
Haiku # 23770, December 9, 2002 8:48 am ET
by R. of PT
Don't let them decide
that happy is not your mood
when you start your day
Haiku # 23769, December 9, 2002 8:44 am ET
by R. of PT
When you start your day
is it radio or the news
who decide your mood
Haiku # 23768, December 9, 2002 8:40 am ET
by R. of PT
Let's say happiness
should be the one driving force
behind all one's moods
Haiku # 23767, December 9, 2002 8:12 am ET
by R. of PT
Is "fun" the right word -
Or "happiness" maybe is
a much better choice
Haiku # 23766, December 9, 2002 8:10 am ET
by R. of PT
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