My attorney, D.
Duck might not have any briefs
but I'll stick with him.

New nursing home aide
Taught them to do the Kick Worm
Unacceptable

I ran out of glue
Peanut butter is sticky
And convenient

Exam tomorrow
Oh no, not on saturday
Right, I'm off to watch...

Bad language is in
These bad programmes and it sets
A bad example

Violent crime in
Europe is lower than here
Oh I wonder why

Britain and U.S.
Show violence but not the
Great beauty of love

But a large amount
Of nudity and beauty
That's better than death

Everyone should be
More like the europeans
No death on TV

underneath layers
when you peel them carefully
there are more layers

anglosaxon words
might sound quite naughty to you
but they're words to me

you may have a point
which i cannot comprehend
but fucked if i know

What profane language
Can not be more eloquent
When spoke with clean tongue?

without censorship
one person's profanity
is another's verse

Have scotch in my bed?
I have some scotch by my bed
The whisky, that is

deep in winter's grip
we slip into flannel sheets
where we create heat

rocks are much too hard
i recommend you have scotch
in your bed instead

i saw two of three
second "Lord" did not equal
though first was ok.
actually, though
it wasn't so bad if you
allow for translate.

wow, i'm the sixteenth
on prolific poets list?
but ash still ruleth.

Look at PEF
Is it not a perfect three
Letter summation

scotch, can i have a
triple on the fucking rocks?
please? thanks very much.

since i was ruthless
i should expect no quarter
but i wish i did...

since i was unmoved
he's not held to it
it's my selfishness

that makes me want to
keep what i did not
earn the right to have.

some three letter words
are much more irritating
than four letter ones

But just how many
Of my haikus featured the
letters PEF?

this site's had death threats
rape threats, forgery, slander...
not to mention pef

I'm number twenty
On the list of haikuers
I should get out more

As the internet
Becomes more available
Foolish children in
Pushchairs will learn to
Use internet browsers and
Come across such sites

We should rise above
Such abuse and live in peace
Like Mr T says

perhaps the answer
is to keep kids in pushchairs
away from this site

What society is
This in which young children use
Terms of abuse

I heard a young child
In a pushchair with his mum*
Utter the term "fuck"
*Obviously his mother was not in the pushchair

and as we all know,
kids who don't know those "bad words"
are loved by their peers

Bad language is bad
Hence the bad in bad language
Children might see it

fuck off moxie

The logic of a shrub:
Kill the arabs now
They have arranged marriages
With other people
Let them have freedom
And marry other members
Of their family

"Saddam had warheads?
"How can a war have a head?"
"Just attack him, sir."

my hat's off to you,
onjayson, for showing class
hey, who stole my hat?

Basketball Jones I
Got a Basketball Jones oh
Baby oooh eeeee oooh

my love waits for may
the hours change like seasons
i miss you so much

Don't mind you using
"onjaysun" but I'm now owned
by Disney...Good Luck!

met ralph carney too
who played on most waits albums
guy's a freaking nut

jonathan richmond
looked puzzled as we shook hands
'course he always does

Warheads in Iraq
Burns those Christ haters to Hell
We know they don't bathe

party really wokked
rice presents, great foo, Canton
wait until next year

waiting for tiger...
bribing time to hurry up
must make the time count

my love in vegas...
two hour to far away
may will never come

the alarm went off
and no thought went through my head
except to sleep more

the cat licks his ass
so comical in Jersey
licking and purring

Tapping keys and mice
Makes one think of bug rampage
Who will Raid whom first?!

some special baptist
deliverance customs but
still, possessed by void