Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 30 Days and 77414 Haiku later...

Coffee is my friend
Latte, cappuccino good
Homer: "Jaaaaavvvaaaaa.....hmmmmmmmmmm"
Haiku # 301, August 27, 1997 1:42 pm ET
by Iced Moccaccino, no whipped of Miles-away-from-Seattle, Taster's Choice
Jan, here's my request
To preview my new Haiku
'FORE it gets submit.
See why?
Haiku # 300, August 21, 1997 8:05 pm ET
by Cousin Rick
Jan, here's my request
To preview my new Haiku
BEFORE it gets submit.
Haiku # 299, August 21, 1997 8:02 pm ET
by Cousin Rick
Want FREE magazines?
Just do what I always do.
Go visit the Doc.
Haiku # 298, August 21, 1997 7:52 pm ET
by Cousin Rick
I would like to know
Who is this Dryden fellow
And why hassle Jan?
Haiku # 297, August 21, 1997 7:27 pm ET
by Cousin Rick of Dryden, kansas
I would like to know
Who is this Dryden fellow
And why hassle Jan?
Haiku # 296, August 21, 1997 7:27 pm ET
by Cousin Rick of Dryden, kansas
Happy squirrels scamper
Stealing my birdseed again.
Rodent dinner soon.
Haiku # 295, August 19, 1997 5:15 pm ET
by Redline of Squirrel-land, Vancouver, USA
To Janis
There once was a girl named Janis
who stole her friends magazine
with Ken Dryden's signature.
And her friend still remembers
because it haunts him every day
and he can't go on without it
Haiku # 294, August 18, 1997 3:55 pm ET
by You Know of Ottawa, Mexico

For Janis
There once was a girl named Janis
Who forgot her friends, the asses
Who is complete without little shits anyway
BOX!
Gary "the great" Holmes
Haiku # 293, August 18, 1997 3:43 pm ET
by You Know of Ottawa, Mexico

Gary Rules
Is this where I leave a message?
Haiku # 292, August 18, 1997 3:27 pm ET
by Gary "the great" Holmes of Ottawa, Mexico
Janis, you bring joy.
Haiku is meant to make us
all laugh till it hurts
But do you not think
you should delete some Haiku's
especially smut?
A haiku is meant
to be but seventeen beats
and to make us thinks
Course, I could be wro
Haiku # 291, August 18, 1997 12:18 am ET
by Matt of Toronto,
If you're not going
to sack it, go home and whack
it. WRAP YOUR WHACKER!!!
Haiku # 290, August 15, 1997 7:20 am ET
by Digital "practice safe sex with haiku" Footsoldier of Neo-Tokyo!!!, somw/r in Canada
Rendering sucks so
on a 486 tis true
Need more RAM and Cokes
Haiku # 289, August 15, 1997 2:38 am ET
by Digital Footsoldier (cg animator) of Neo-Tokyo!!!, somw/r in Canada
Humpy has a problem,
His haiku Really SUCKS ASS!
He can't count to five.
Haiku # 288, August 12, 1997 10:37 pm ET
by Nikko of Edo
Humpy has a problem,
His haiku Really SUCKS ASS!
,
He can't count to five.
Haiku # 287, August 12, 1997 10:35 pm ET
by Nikko of Edo
Hoe-ass bitch better
Recognize, motherfucker, Or hoe-ass gon' die!
Haiku # 285, August 12, 1997 4:15 am ET
by Humpy of Usa
You bastard cat, get
Off the goddamn counter or
I'll freeze you solid!!
Haiku # 284, August 12, 1997 4:04 am ET
by Humpy Dallas, USA
Amish bastards love
You, so the least you could do
Is leave them alone.
Haiku # 283, August 12, 1997 4:03 am ET
by Humpy Dallas, USA
Death mail to chickens
Isn't as safe as it seems
Some have machine guns.
Haiku # 282, August 12, 1997 4:00 am ET
by Humpy Dallas, USA
last night I was bored
So I gave my cat a bath.

Still fur on my tongue.

Haiku # 281, August 5, 1997 6:40 pm ET
by cousin of USA -
Volleyball in pool,
if ball bounces in, it's fair.
Jan's team always wins.
Haiku # 280, August 5, 1997 5:28 pm ET
by cousin of Cleveburg, You ess, eh?
Little Billy Goat
Soft grey fur and sideways eyes
I shoot up your ass
Haiku # 279, August 1, 1997 9:15 pm ET
by Squishy Lover of Los Angeles, USA
At the urinal
I piss as hard as I can
Cant break cigarette
EAT MY ASS !
Eric Marcus
Haiku # 278, July 20, 1997 5:59 am ET
by Eric.marcus@tanet.com of Suckoville, CA, Yemen (semen)
I have a big dog
His name is "Go fuck yourself"
My mom hates that name.
Haiku # 277, July 20, 1997 5:54 am ET
by Eric Marcus of Penoche, U of Fucking S A
thought it was a fart
put my hand down my underwear
it was a wet mess
Haiku # 276, July 17, 1997 9:50 pm ET
by Bractune of Los Angeles, USA
bird flys in the wind
i see it over my head
it shits on my cheek
Haiku # 275, July 17, 1997 9:48 pm ET
by Bractune of Los Angeles, USA
Come here little sheep
Your fur is so soft and white
Do you have VD?
Haiku # 274, July 14, 1997 7:11 am ET
by Bractune of Los Angeles, USA
I kick the midget
I laugh at his tiny dick
I think I smell cheese
Haiku # 273, July 14, 1997 7:03 am ET
by Bractune of Los Angeles, USA
i want to lick you
And feel you get really hard
And become insane
Haiku # 272, July 11, 1997 9:42 pm ET
by to little john
i love to kiss you
i suck your passionate lips
harder and harder
Haiku # 271, July 11, 1997 6:57 pm ET
by to emma of philadelphia, usa
Cold beverage in hand
Floating in warm gentle waves
I found paradise
Haiku # 270, July 11, 1997 2:57 pm ET
by Mr.Ed of Montréal,
The homeless woman
Has no pants and smells like poo
I spit on her face!!
Haiku # 269, July 11, 1997 5:08 am ET
by Eric Jello of Penoche, US of fuckin A
I am so happy
I never knew of true love
Until I met you
Haiku # 268, July 10, 1997 10:50 pm ET
by Kathryn Tong of Garden City, USA
i dreamt of your lips
i gaze into your dark eyes
i miss you a lot
Haiku # 267, July 10, 1997 3:19 pm ET
by alan lee of philadelphia, usa
the retarded boy
has no pants and smells like poo
I KILL HIM WITH STICK
Haiku # 266, July 4, 1997 5:21 am ET
by Bractune of Los Angeles, USA
stop looking at me
brown eye, I lick and suck it
uuum! she cums for me.
Haiku # 265, July 2, 1997 9:27 am ET
by martez evans of fayetteville, usa


Haiku # 264, July 2, 1997 9:21 am ET
by martez evans of fayetteville, usa
I once bit a possum
Forever he reminded me
Of burnt ball
Haiku # 263, June 26, 1997 6:28 pm ET
by Trevor Scully of S'pore, S'pore
My father sells fishballs
Oh pray tis the bullock
I farted aloof
Haiku # 262, June 23, 1997 5:59 pm ET
by Trevor Scully of Singapore, Singapore
My Scheherazade,
Janis keeps me with Haiku
I should be working.
Haiku # 261, June 18, 1997 12:15 pm ET
by Robert Milby of Sant Cruz, USA
Everything is fine
I guess everything is fine
Yep, it's all ok
Haiku # 260, June 16, 1997 12:56 am ET
by Haiku Master of Canada
badda bing badda
boom can
Haiku # 259, June 13, 1997 11:23 am ET
by Scott Duncan of Toronto, Canada
Forgive me for the
Dew drops that I caused to flow
From your heart last night
Haiku # 258, June 12, 1997 11:06 pm ET
by Kevin Doyle of Honolulu, US
I guess I forgot:
the haikus on these pages
are bad by design.
Haiku # 257, June 12, 1997 8:51 pm ET
by Terry C. of New York City, Pennsylvania
BAD HAIKU
HORRIBLY BAD
YOU KNOW I LOVE IT
Haiku # 256, June 12, 1997 7:50 pm ET
by JOSH CATONE of INSANITY, CHAOS
DEATH ON A HILLTOP
ALL COOL AND SERENE
DEATH IS A DREAM
Haiku # 255, June 12, 1997 7:49 pm ET
by JOSH CATONE of INSANITY, CHAOS
TIME IS A DRIFTER
WITH CANE AND HAT
TIME ENDS--ABRUPT DEATH
Haiku # 254, June 12, 1997 7:48 pm ET
by JOSH CATONE of INSANITY, CHAOS
KILL ALL THY FOES
VANQUISH THE DEAD
DEATH WILL COME SOON
Haiku # 253, June 12, 1997 7:44 pm ET
by JOSH CATONE of INSANITY, CHAOS
Hey! To be haiku,
the poem must allude to
one of the seasons
Haiku # 252, June 11, 1997 8:46 pm ET
by Terry C of New York City, Pennsylvania
stumble in lift lid
groggy eyes spot spry Tabby
cat bats at my stream
Haiku # 251, June 10, 1997 2:10 pm ET
by Mick of Toronto,