Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 23 Days and 77403 Haiku later...

with stunning good looks
a latent evil concealed
i shall fool them all
Haiku # 30212, May 7, 2003 2:08 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
everyone applauds
with a standing ovation
the unimpressive
Haiku # 30211, May 7, 2003 1:55 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (sheep are so easy to please)
i'm too young for this
i imagine my liver
swimming in vodka
Haiku # 30210, May 7, 2003 1:37 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (beckoning me like a tit)
how long can i last
in full blown sobriety
oh god, give me strength
Haiku # 30209, May 7, 2003 1:29 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
a shameless voyuer
pressing my ears to the wall
the sound of bed springs
Haiku # 30208, May 7, 2003 1:20 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
a crass offender
writing in tautologies
that last poem sucked ass
Haiku # 30207, May 7, 2003 1:14 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (mr. redundant)
falling down the stairs
unable to break his fall
a wizened old man
Haiku # 30206, May 7, 2003 1:09 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (the comic injustice of the elderly)
i can't feel too blue
when i'm here, where i belong
my hand in granny
Haiku # 30205, May 7, 2003 11:48 am ET
by Drophammer
trembling sphincter
moist, dripping, stretched gaping wide
now just hold it there
Haiku # 30204, May 7, 2003 11:44 am ET
by Drophammer
Where is the ex go?
Off to hose other guys with money.
What whores often go for.
Haiku # 30203, May 7, 2003 11:07 am ET
by Steve Reents of Illinois
"Can I play with it?"
"Why, most certainly." "Not that,
"I mean your moustache."
Haiku # 30202, May 7, 2003 9:46 am ET
by A Student of I don't have a moustache but if I did that would happen
A big, pink device
Huge pulsating mothership
Please take me with you
Haiku # 30201, May 7, 2003 9:43 am ET
by A Student of Und den nette Mann nimmt die Frau aus
.........the azure ocean
so calm with shimmering waves
.......gives me a sunburn
Haiku # 30200, May 7, 2003 9:08 am ET
by ronin of shootimreallylosingmytouch
.......sorry there, old poo(p)
..it's what not you think I am (?)
....i have returned, yes (sigh*)

(i keep using the yes to complete
...............the 5-7-5)
Haiku # 30199, May 7, 2003 9:03 am ET
by ronin of comiccombustionyourassbigmouth
yes, indeed, redneck
you can do us a favor
by dropping like dead
Haiku # 30198, May 7, 2003 8:58 am ET
by ronin of andmakeitfastplease
Comic combustion
Is it bird, is it a plane
No its super ASH
Haiku # 30197, May 7, 2003 8:58 am ET
by William Nippress
.......i like the texture
and the shades of ocres and
....tans and yellows. too
Haiku # 30196, May 7, 2003 8:55 am ET
by ronin
....a fucking redneck
romping silly in the field
...makes a good target
Haiku # 30195, May 7, 2003 8:52 am ET
by ronin
......moments of frailties,
frozen in time, make good so-
.........lid evidence, sir

(shoot, i gotta brush up on my
..............badhaiku)
Haiku # 30194, May 7, 2003 8:50 am ET
by ronin
...such unfaithfullness
and times of indiscretion
...do become you, yes

Haiku # 30193, May 7, 2003 8:44 am ET
by ronin of farfarawayfrommoxandAnonymousPrick
i'm quiet obsessive
outlaw countless perfidies
haiku has a cock
Haiku # 30192, May 7, 2003 8:16 am ET
by ash
Sun too bright to stand
Beating down relentlessly
Need factor thirty
Haiku # 30191, May 7, 2003 7:58 am ET
by William Nippress
If only you think
you
Haiku # 30190, May 7, 2003 3:04 am ET
by William Nippress
Shotgun, Shotgun fun
Im gona shoot deer in side
Shotgun, Shotgun fun
Im gona cut off its head
Wont stop huntin til im dead!
Haiku # 30189, May 6, 2003 8:53 pm ET
by Redneckyota
Ich bin der Bauherr von Babel, ein Trappenhaus zu Holle
Er ersetzt eure
Haiku # 30188, May 6, 2003 6:37 pm ET
by A Student of Oh dear, I have no idea what that coursework was supposed to be
oh the poor haiku
what are these people doing?
five, seven, then five!
Haiku # 30187, May 6, 2003 4:22 pm ET
by tiger of vegas
It drops down on you
It rains down upon your heads
I pee off the roof
Haiku # 30186, May 6, 2003 4:20 pm ET
by u2popmofo
tourists everywhere
marvelling at the skyline
smiling like monkeys
Haiku # 30185, May 6, 2003 2:59 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
no beer before noon
a brand new experience
pure lucidity
Haiku # 30184, May 6, 2003 2:28 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
corporate sell-out
written all over his face
stamped like a bar code
Haiku # 30183, May 6, 2003 2:00 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
if i understood
that would surely be funny
but i don't get it
Haiku # 30182, May 6, 2003 1:52 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (what nonsensical forgeries, not even close)
birds do what they do
with no justification
we should watch and learn
Haiku # 30181, May 6, 2003 1:49 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
if it werent for nachos,
i would have shot myself a long
time ago..DALE EARNHARRRDT!
Haiku # 30180, May 6, 2003 1:49 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
spread out the pieces
examine them one by one
they still make no sense
Haiku # 30179, May 6, 2003 1:47 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
in office hours
he expects me to brown nose
not gonna happen
Haiku # 30178, May 6, 2003 1:36 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
i could do their job
better than they ever could
they hate me for it
Haiku # 30177, May 6, 2003 1:29 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
the problem with school
they don't even challenge me
tenure-track failures
Haiku # 30176, May 6, 2003 1:28 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (school's a business, they make money off of passing you through the system like a turd, but education it ai
i'm a neurotic
dissecting like a surgeon
actions of the past
Haiku # 30175, May 6, 2003 1:18 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (inspired by ash)
the lovely rain song
i'd suck jimmy page's dick
even though i'm straight
Haiku # 30174, May 6, 2003 1:08 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (that's how much i love him)
a stool for the gods
too perfect to flush away
i'll wrap it in foil
Haiku # 30173, May 6, 2003 1:05 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (that's more like it)
those last four weren't mine
i'm never up that early
they don't have my style
Haiku # 30172, May 6, 2003 1:03 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (the inimitable)
Ich bin der Sturmbringer und der Tr
Haiku # 30171, May 6, 2003 11:36 am ET
by A Student of Hallo Lehrer. Leid, aber, ich habe mit Ihre Tochter geschlafen
Bulbs, palatte of color,
tearing my back a hole of fear
Wings disolve, dirt plant
Haiku # 30170, May 6, 2003 10:07 am ET
by Steve Reents of Illinois
You and me
gotta go pee
where is Chee?
chilli peppers basist, flea
hug a tree
kill a bee
Haiku # 30169, May 6, 2003 10:04 am ET
by gordon sumner of shawshank
I am cold
grandma is old
i feel bold
where in the world
where is aunt pearl?
how is my girl?
go on and twirl
Haiku # 30168, May 6, 2003 10:03 am ET
by frankie of shawshank
Cooked on the grill
then felt ill
then took a pill
cant pay my bill
thats a chill
where is will?
Haiku # 30167, May 6, 2003 10:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet of shawshank
Takin' a pill
'Cause I am ill
Met a guy named Will
Payin' my bill
Drinkin' some swill
Gotta go kill
Take a chill
Haiku # 30166, May 6, 2003 10:01 am ET
by marvin the poet of shawshank
frustrated, can't you
at least try - express yourself
in haiku format?
Haiku # 30165, May 6, 2003 9:43 am ET
by Drophammer of infinite patience
if ever there were
poems to remove from here
frustrated writes them
Haiku # 30164, May 6, 2003 9:42 am ET
by Drophammer of your toaster oven
one thing we all know,
frustrated certainly is
no wonder - no dates
Haiku # 30163, May 6, 2003 9:40 am ET
by Drophammer of your pocket
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