Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 253 Days and 71024 Haikus later...

Snip my buttons off,
With your shearing claw, my sweet
Lobster in my pants
Haiku # 30832, May 23, 2003 9:48 pm ET
by Korzak
before things get out
of hand, we gotta Nippress
it in the bud, Ange
Haiku # 30831, May 23, 2003 6:57 pm ET
by onjaysun (Floyd is a barber not a band)
Hug the baby seals,
Hug the porpoiseses,
Hug the walrusess
Hug Tennesee Tuxedo,
Hug Barney Fife
Haiku # 30830, May 23, 2003 5:29 pm ET
by William Nippress
In the words of the great
philosopher Homer J. Simpson....
"DOHHHHHHH!!!"
Haiku # 30829, May 23, 2003 5:29 pm ET
by William Nippress
hippie girls micro
buses or mom's taurus, luv
that mountain aire time
Haiku # 30828, May 23, 2003 3:06 pm ET
by onjaysun (if it's free love can I still get a receipt?)
sometimes it is worse
to have your fear come true
you knew all along
Haiku # 30827, May 23, 2003 3:03 pm ET
by lissle lauren that be really sad of lost somewhere in your smile
i want to know what
it would feel like to
hold him just once more
Haiku # 30826, May 23, 2003 3:00 pm ET
by lissle lauren that be really sad of lost somewhere in your smile
I like big butts and I can't deny,
They rock my world
and make me high.
Haiku # 30825, May 23, 2003 11:16 am ET
by William Nippress
"Arf, arf, arf!" Lassie's response
Haiku # 30824, May 23, 2003 11:15 am ET
by samhain
"What's wrong girl? Did Timmy
fall down the well??"
FROM THE 'LASSIE' TV SHOW
Haiku # 30823, May 23, 2003 11:13 am ET
by samhain
When I die,
Bury me with,
My soul.
Haiku # 30822, May 23, 2003 11:12 am ET
by samhain
Let's go mine some cubic zirconia,
And have a party with
Barney the dinosaur
Haiku # 30821, May 23, 2003 11:11 am ET
by samhain
Poems for the blind are useless,
unless spoken with emotion
Haiku # 30820, May 23, 2003 11:10 am ET
by samhain
lovely new 'puter
with eyes of deep cobalt blue
you are marvellous
Haiku # 30819, May 23, 2003 9:51 am ET
by :-) ash
abreast of fashion
considering a tattoo
ta da drum roll please
Haiku # 30818, May 23, 2003 8:50 am ET
by mellie
some deep core drilling
right into the heart of me
promising samples
Haiku # 30817, May 23, 2003 8:47 am ET
by mellie
Its no good you going
on the wagon we
Haiku # 30816, May 23, 2003 6:54 am ET
by Examination Board
It's been eleven
hours since my last drink of beer:
Eleven AM
Haiku # 30815, May 23, 2003 6:38 am ET
by A Student of this is going to halve my shopping bill
Maybe she still sucks her thumb
And we all know what that means
Haiku # 30814, May 23, 2003 6:19 am ET
by Time to come off breast feeding
Do you have a mammary fixation?
Haiku # 30813, May 23, 2003 6:17 am ET
by Tits R Us
wading in waste high
piles of nippless haikus
grandma has a cock
Haiku # 30812, May 23, 2003 6:04 am ET
by ap
Want to make your mark
Contact civilization
Show them who
Haiku # 30811, May 23, 2003 3:32 am ET
by William Nippress
Not a lost city
Turns out it
Haiku # 30810, May 23, 2003 3:29 am ET
by William Nippress
Still don
Haiku # 30809, May 23, 2003 3:25 am ET
by William Nippress
They followed me home
Tribe is banging on my door
Demanding my vote
Haiku # 30808, May 23, 2003 3:22 am ET
by William Nippress
Shows what can happen
When you venture outside house
Think I
Haiku # 30807, May 23, 2003 3:18 am ET
by William Nippress
These people talk strange
Looking at the sky, bowing
Must be a lost tribe
Haiku # 30806, May 23, 2003 3:18 am ET
by William Nippress
Found a lost city
It was right in the middle
Lawn needs exploring
Haiku # 30805, May 23, 2003 3:14 am ET
by William Nippress
Wading in waist high
I walk through my long grass lawn
About time I cut it
Haiku # 30804, May 23, 2003 3:11 am ET
by William Nippress
Saw a mad man shout
This man doesn
Haiku # 30803, May 23, 2003 3:07 am ET
by William Nippress or is it only mad people who understand?
Pissed on Kronenbourg
Hopes he can avoid exams
Coming to get you
Haiku # 30802, May 23, 2003 2:58 am ET
by Examination board
an alien came
it shat on my rug and left
oh wait, that was me
Haiku # 30801, May 22, 2003 11:32 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
minus the wrinkles
and her chronic leprosy
she's one hot mama
Haiku # 30800, May 22, 2003 11:28 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
Robots and lobsters
If they would love each other,
That would be fucked up
Haiku # 30798, May 22, 2003 10:08 pm ET
by Korzak
Ralph Wiggum once said,
"My cat's breath smells like cat food"
Cats are not lobsters
Haiku # 30797, May 22, 2003 10:05 pm ET
by Korzak
Some lobsters can fly
High above the clouds they soar
Safe from traps and nets
Haiku # 30796, May 22, 2003 10:04 pm ET
by Korzak
Angry robots screech,
Lobsters kidnapped their princess
Lights blink in hatred
Haiku # 30795, May 22, 2003 10:02 pm ET
by Korzak
Lobster Messiah
If he had a shell and claws
What would Jesus do?
Haiku # 30794, May 22, 2003 9:57 pm ET
by Korzak
Sometimes I wonder
If all lobsters were robots,
Couuld they still be caught?
Haiku # 30793, May 22, 2003 9:57 pm ET
by Korzak
Robots fight and kill,
For the love of a princess
Gearbox royalty
Haiku # 30792, May 22, 2003 9:54 pm ET
by Korzak
My deep-sea lover
Antennae stroking softly,
Her touch is divine
Haiku # 30791, May 22, 2003 9:50 pm ET
by Korzak
superfly jesus
you better write them gospels
before i smack you
Haiku # 30790, May 22, 2003 8:11 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
christ was a homo
he labeled peter "the rock"
you figure it out
Haiku # 30789, May 22, 2003 8:05 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (i'm writing book, called "The Art of Blaspheming.")
obsessed with children
jesus was a pedophile
like wacko jacko
Haiku # 30788, May 22, 2003 8:02 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
jesus told judas
to betray him before hand
there was no betrayal
Haiku # 30787, May 22, 2003 7:57 pm ET
by sexually frustrated (christ knew what he was doing, pimpin his apostles like dolomite)
a virgin, yeah right
joseph waxed that ass all night
fo shizzle, dizzle
Haiku # 30786, May 22, 2003 7:53 pm ET
by sexually frustrated
But then on the third
I can drink excessively
Before my last test
Haiku # 30784, May 22, 2003 6:17 pm ET
by A Student of a maths exam (I've attended no maths lectures this year)
Then they make a bet
that I shall drink nothing that
is alcoholic
Haiku # 30783, May 22, 2003 6:16 pm ET
by A Student of until the third of June
Day 2: so called friends
label me alcoholic
and dirty old man
Haiku # 30782, May 22, 2003 6:15 pm ET
by A Student of and serial killer/rapist
Day 1: discover
that all Kronenbourg is mine
and I can drink it
Haiku # 30781, May 22, 2003 6:13 pm ET
by A Student of that's all well and good
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