Gentle breeze blows tree
crud into my drink. It's now
impure ... "natural".

Paid my dues for 3 centuries
ahead, still human jealousy
Rules the pissy world

Tonight's forecast: Dark.
Continued dark for tonight.
Light in the morning.


- inspired by Al Sleet, the "hippie-dippie weatherman"

Noodle bar for lunch
Tofu, ginger, chilli and tomato
On whole wheat noodles

simply be sizes,
fourteen to fucking thirty,
thats really massive

the queen of hearts she,
made some tarts it was a red,
hot lesbo gang bang

i would like for me,
and vince vaughn to get it on,
i can dream can't i?

Thank you it

oh no im bleeding!
that fucking paper is gay
i shall sue its arse

oh dear im alone,
who will give me a sponge bath?,
i smell like old feet

Getting writers block
Can't come up with great haiku
Need inspiration.

nine and a half years
thirty-six thousand haiku
grandma has a cock

Another "standing
O". Every time I walk in.
Yes, it does get old.

She chose me, but why?
I'm old, fat, bald, and ugly.
Of course, so is she.



Inspired in part by Bad Haiku #35887 by Dirty Old Man

One more box of wine
And I'll be lounging supine
Nude in the sunshine

The refreshing verse
Of years gone by surfaces;
Grandma has a cock

The rain is drop-shaped
Clanging on the windowsil
Getting people wet

Poor Niles now he has
an Ism after his name
It is just not fair

such nihilism
it's pretty hard to believe
grandma has a cock

Such high brow Haiku
Thought,

My little pony
I remember your theme song
Oh so very well

horse before descartes
i think therefore it might be
but you just can't tell

God does not exist
Suspension of disbelief
Is for the movies

Once, there were many
gods. Now, just one. Limit, as
t grows, is zero.

There's just one person
in the whole world for me. Look!
Right in the same town!

I looked out the window and saw
A guy with a gigantic maw
I flipped him the bird
And called him a turd
And now I face the wrath of the law

There once was a guy named dude
Who loved bowling and weed and some food
When the nilists came calling
In the city so sprawling
He had to abide or be screwed

A limerick my friend did once say
Is a form of verse that helps pass the day
They're often quite dirty
And rarely quite purdy
It beats bad haiku any day

you're pulling our chain
when you say you'll try again
flushed with success, blaine ?

there once was a deal done with dell
but they ship at a time they won't tell
it might arrive soon
or sometime in june
or after it freezes in hell

Youth

Mount Madonna Mama
Falling in loves not about
Looks but character
-
Simple rules for life
You fall in lust with good looks
But looks don

ah sweet bad haiku
nothing makes me laugh as much
as the nothing here

Underwater man
Living snow dome spectacle
Pruny hands and feet

Take a deep breath now
Holding ones breath, NOT magic!
I hope you drown Blain

Frolicking dolphin
Swims like a motherfucker
Through the aqua sea

Quote: "'Kill' my landlord....
C-I-L-L, my landlord."
Mr. Robinson

Miniature ponies
With rainbow colored condoms
Ass rape blind kittens

I watched my mother
pulling away on the train
I wish I'd known her

time is punishment
for a beautiful woman
all can see her loss

she reads his love poems
and feels too shamed by aging
to let him see her

living a wet dream
ahh.... don't ya know it's magic
and it's lucrative

Army Instructor
Reasonably sure he is gay
Keeps contacting me
-
And he writes haiku
He wants to know where I live
Not into gays though

If emulation
Sincerest form, flattery
What is name stealing?

Severe Blain damage
Here

I take my shoes off
Nature

Severe Blain damage
Here

Wet blossom carpet
Nature

blaine, blaine, wet again
too much water on the brain
you've gotta refrain

boy in a bubble
you were asking for trouble
should use a double