Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 164 Days and 77044 Haiku later...

years of hoarding builds
obsolete items and trash
yard sales soon follow
Haiku # 49762, May 31, 2013 1:32 pm ET
by vhs
the pocket call with
garbled voices over cell
crackle frack flick flum
Haiku # 49761, May 31, 2013 1:31 pm ET
by vhs
a silent website
not quite 404 the world
overconnected
Haiku # 49760, May 31, 2013 1:30 pm ET
by vhs
at the drive thru a
bit of sarcasm gets a
cold look from a flip
Haiku # 49759, May 31, 2013 1:29 pm ET
by vhs
as we become old
more reactionary is
what we lose bad, good?
Haiku # 49758, May 30, 2013 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
well at least that got
five or six haikus out of
you, desert wine?
Haiku # 49757, May 30, 2013 9:17 am ET
by vhs
disregard the guard
batter all bastions blindly
exalt in tumult
Haiku # 49756, May 30, 2013 2:06 am ET
by Lush
repetition mine
like the rhythm of your time
mine a gentler clime
Haiku # 49755, May 30, 2013 2:04 am ET
by Lush
hierarchy of needs
number one is fun, my son
a sine qua non
Haiku # 49754, May 30, 2013 2:02 am ET
by Lush of pardon my Latin
my primary aim
alleviate this ass itch
noble pursuits lost
Haiku # 49753, May 30, 2013 2:00 am ET
by Lush
my Important work!
I cleanse the system for us
who are we, shit soak?
Haiku # 49752, May 30, 2013 1:59 am ET
by Lush
all hackers assholes
under cloak of purity
leave my asshole reamed
Haiku # 49751, May 30, 2013 1:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
fuck you adobe
and your fucking flash updates
i'll read cave paintings
Haiku # 49750, May 30, 2013 1:56 am ET
by Lush
were not a lot of
these haiku death poems as
samurai's last words?
Haiku # 49749, May 29, 2013 12:42 pm ET
by vhs
and my dear sir, what
if it was good writing you
are calling not good
Haiku # 49748, May 29, 2013 12:41 pm ET
by vhs
people can't conform
to my wishes or yours so
so...come as you are

writing classes are
full of egos, petty, vain
visonary, but they're

fucking classes, with
human beings like lush here
drinking himself down?

so compliment, you
are fucked, compete for scraps of
what, recognition?
Haiku # 49747, May 29, 2013 12:40 pm ET
by vhs
haiku are the capacitors, enabling complex thought and efficient transmission with limited waste and sustained conversion. epics and manifestos, by contrast, require a cooling mechanism or elaborate calculations for effective thrust upon the end system. This horrible metaphor will serve as my final complaint regarding non-haiku. These should be haiku first, and bad second. Otherwise, we're merely dealing in bad writing, such as this.
Haiku # 49746, May 29, 2013 2:50 am ET
by Lush
I wrote a poem
hipsters crafted apps and frowned
each are ass loathsome
Haiku # 49745, May 29, 2013 2:27 am ET
by Lush
actions however
bear rigid consequences
like a steam engine
Haiku # 49744, May 29, 2013 2:23 am ET
by Lush
thoughts twice converted
rendered in stains on parchment
glorified and tame
Haiku # 49743, May 29, 2013 2:22 am ET
by Lush
there are more ways to
live than any of us here
can fathom in our

short lifetimes, but a
breath in the eyes of God and
a blip on time/space
Haiku # 49742, May 29, 2013 1:34 am ET
by vhs
when a person has
nothing more to declare war
on if this is their

life to live, does it
end like abbie hoffmann, turned
inward and explodes?

or do they find a
new reason to live and try
something different
Haiku # 49741, May 29, 2013 1:33 am ET
by vhs
but here's the issue
when a person faces a
person that is the

very thing they hate
a "poet" yet decries it
words of war on self?
Haiku # 49740, May 29, 2013 1:31 am ET
by vhs
laughs, so we're all the
poets, singers, sinners, to
the end we all kill

ourselves slowly by
being born, some die sooner
some die later but

oh we live that life
whilst we are alive, what world
is this, you and i
Haiku # 49739, May 29, 2013 1:30 am ET
by vhs
Another quitter
bites the proverbial dust.
As all poets should.

All poets should die!...
Dye their hair bright orange and green.
Run up to strangers.

Assail them with
unwanted poems and filth.
And slowly kill them....

selves
Haiku # 49738, May 28, 2013 10:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
frowns, paradox, when
I want to express myself
people walk away

when I don't want to
people want me to do so
so therefore I quit
Haiku # 49737, May 28, 2013 12:20 pm ET
by vhs
if arnold and snooki
can write a book about
their lives of course (ow)

(i like arnold, snooki, eh)
then what course has the world
of the written word gone
Haiku # 49736, May 24, 2013 11:56 am ET
by vhs of sorry not a haiku
I see magazines
getting thinner and thinner
market values vs.

nostalgia for things
the niche market once mainstream
don't that beat all huh
Haiku # 49735, May 24, 2013 11:54 am ET
by vhs
see on sea shores
many peoples sittings sun light

a hot bath
Haiku # 49734, May 24, 2013 11:13 am ET
by otteri selvakumar of otteri, chennai, india
my life vacillates
though my problems are quite clear
and i'm one of them
Haiku # 49733, May 24, 2013 9:33 am ET
by ash
bothersome optics
reflections perverse, inverse
damn you, retinae
Haiku # 49731, May 24, 2013 4:18 am ET
by Lush
as for pleasure's sake
I'd sooner run a finger
then eyeball a screen
Haiku # 49730, May 24, 2013 4:14 am ET
by Lush
indexible tomes
thousands per hand held device
a purpose served... sure.
Haiku # 49729, May 24, 2013 4:10 am ET
by Lush
caress the cover
moisten finger, turn a page
storage underground
Haiku # 49728, May 24, 2013 4:09 am ET
by Lush
we speak as I hope
lovers of books, but I say
the kindles? take off...

don't these techie
"threats" come along and then the
boom, it often busts
Haiku # 49727, May 24, 2013 1:21 am ET
by vhs
So what do you mean?
(By digital Media?)
pdf and Word?

Haiku with questions.
I hope that that is okay.
Or I'll die of shame.

You won't find my book.
on one of those e-readers.
Burn all Kindles now!

Click on the link for the word doc.
Haiku # 49726, May 23, 2013 3:10 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, spamming evi1. of Satan's outhouse.
well geek love is a better book
but I like books
over digital media
Haiku # 49724, May 23, 2013 12:59 am ET
by vhs
Knock knock. Who is there?
I eat mop. I eat mop who?
Ewww! That's disgusting!
Haiku # 49723, May 22, 2013 10:40 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, yet again.
Feeling defeated?
Then, sir, you are defeated.
Order Viagra. ;-)

The captcha is now
Neoffini 884.
WHAT DOES IS ALL MEAN?!?!
Haiku # 49722, May 22, 2013 10:33 pm ET
by Darth Fig Pucker of I am not even going to spam my novel today. Read "Geek Love" instead.
I feel defeated
like life can't overcome and
I am stuck for good
Haiku # 49721, May 22, 2013 12:49 pm ET
by vhs
yes stick your head in
rubber whilst I think I can cause
the world to end with

a thought
Haiku # 49720, May 22, 2013 11:53 am ET
by vhs
A pervert unprobed
A stink skank w/ N2O
asphyxiation.
Haiku # 49719, May 22, 2013 9:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Inappropriate
beastiality pictures
on my computer.

I'm really into
Galapagos turtle sex
with fat gay midgets.

And the sea snails
Are giving it good to the
Chzech basketball team.

Dolphins are passe.
Ebay has dolphin sex tours
for ninety dollars.

Poets get discounts.
If anyone needs weird sex,
it would be poets.
Haiku # 49718, May 22, 2013 9:31 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
fill the inkwell well
and then sharpen the quill, will
the words emerge... merge
Haiku # 49717, May 22, 2013 2:01 am ET
by Lush
a prophet unmoved
think tank with no oxygen
aphasiac poet
Haiku # 49716, May 22, 2013 1:58 am ET
by Lush
one shouldn't just write
a sentence and then proclaim
the same a haiku
Haiku # 49715, May 22, 2013 1:55 am ET
by Lush
as far as I know
many of the "outcasts" like
to revel in this

pariah bullshit when
those same people might be the
serpent saves mankind
Haiku # 49714, May 22, 2013 1:34 am ET
by vhs
Outcast never conforming, forming
habits in the gutters of the soul-
scorching revelation of your deepest fears,
hears, feels, only the pain
and none of the joy
ends where life does.

Amidst all your science,
technology, wealth, and splendor,
did you ever imagine it
would give birth
to that such as
I
?
Haiku # 49712, May 20, 2013 8:48 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Well, fuck me running!
The link to my novel died.
Those dirty bastards!

(But you can still read it online, thanks to the Russian internet Mafia.)
Haiku # 49711, May 20, 2013 8:46 pm ET
by evi1 - a novel about you. of Dubai Whorehouse
To hell with it all.
I can't even copy links.
This is the right link:
Haiku # 49710, May 18, 2013 7:54 am ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Download the word doc, email it to your friends and family.
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