Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 182 Days and 77090 Haiku later...

Why are they called dispensaries?
Why the hell not just "pot stores"?
You want liquor, liquor store.
You want a pet, pet store.
You want hardware, hardware store.
You want to get high, dispensary.
Fuck that! It's a pot store!
Haiku # 72254, September 30, 2021 5:09 am ET
by Fucking losers!
I've been judging you.
Watching the way that you die.
Dr. Pepper and HoHo's. Really?!?!

Rascal racing in WalMart.
Outmaneuver the other fatties
for that last bag of Cheetos.

Heart replacement kit.
Ordered on Amazon.
The latest medical fad.
Haiku # 72253, September 30, 2021 5:00 am ET
by At least it's not Tide pods. of Hope we can bury that one.
You can pick your friends.
You can also pick your nose.
But you can't park your
friends on the back of the couch.
Haiku # 72252, September 30, 2021 4:49 am ET
by ... Or can you?
I've been watching you
Judging the way that you live
You're fucking messy!
Haiku # 72251, September 30, 2021 1:32 am ET
by Roomba of Room
Will it ever work?
Artificial sentience.
Will it despise us?

Will it write poems?
About how stupid we are?
How useless life is?
Haiku # 72250, September 29, 2021 10:14 pm ET
by blahblahblah
Can't say that I have.
I would if there was more porn.
3D would be cool.

Pooped on by Jap girls.
A glory hole with 10 schlongs.
Watching the bird bath.

Love those cardinals.
I don't mean the baseball team.
I mean the red birds.

They get me so hot.
Steams up my binoculars.
No, Grams! It's my turn!
Haiku # 72249, September 29, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by I give up with tech crap. of Not for me. Reality is better.
Virtual reality
Have you ever worn the thing
You know, the headset?
Haiku # 72248, September 29, 2021 6:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I just use water.
But that's an old discussion.
TP's very bad.

In addition to killing trees, TP's also very costly for the sewage refineries to deal with. If we all used water it would save a lot of money and be better for the environment. And I suppose you can use owls if you don't like bidets or water ladles. Who could argue?... Get it?... "Who" As in "Who who who" from an owl. Oh, I am so witty. No really.
What is your favorite species of owl with which to clean your backside?
Do you reward it with live rodents afterwards?
Haiku # 72247, September 29, 2021 2:41 pm ET
by So many questions. of Too little time.
The trees are thankful
Paperless haiku poems
I know. I'm a tree.

So, please consider
wiping your ass with an owl
Ban toilet paper.
Haiku # 72246, September 29, 2021 10:10 am ET
by Forrest Stump
If you write haiku,
but then no one will read them,
are they still poems?
Haiku # 72245, September 29, 2021 5:26 am ET
by The trees think so.
Can you call it that?
Is guided masturbation
still masturbation?
Haiku # 72244, September 29, 2021 3:56 am ET
by Ask Webster
Who does this crap?
Tried guided meditation
It made me nervous

I'd rather come here
and read about cannibals
and smelly farts
Haiku # 72243, September 29, 2021 3:54 am ET
by Smell of New Age chakra toots makes me puke
Don't get in his face
Brag that you ate 2 Mormons
Shit out a Bible
Haiku # 72242, September 29, 2021 1:42 am ET
by Church of Cabernet and Taints
Never heard of him
Keep your head on a swivel
if you visit him
Haiku # 72241, September 29, 2021 1:29 am ET
by Concerned
I'm a Pepper, too
Like Coke with Italian food
and with Chinese Food

But that was before
Live on reservation now
Never get to store

Thanks for making me
think about delicious things
I can't even have
Haiku # 72240, September 29, 2021 1:26 am ET
by Starvedkitten of Hungary
I want to gravity bong three gallons of egg nog.
Haiku # 72239, September 29, 2021 1:09 am ET
by You with me? of Chug, chug, chug!!!...
Issei Sagawa is still alive and I'd like to go visit him. Maybe get some pointers. Good idea, no?
Haiku # 72238, September 29, 2021 1:08 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The stench of businessmen with nowhere to go fills my nostrils. I feel sad for them, but I just want coffee. It's all coming down. Soon there will be war. I just don't know what kind, but billions will perish. Painfully. Slowly.
But not you; you're a cannibal.
Haiku # 72237, September 29, 2021 1:07 am ET
by Alferd Packer
Sky skrapers are an abomination and should come down. I read it in the Koran and The Bible. Buddha doesn't really care, but what do you expect from that jelly belly. He and Santa Clause were riding Rascals in WalMart the other day, racing to get the last back of Cheetos. Santa Clause won. He always wins. It's really unfair to the rest of us. Do you like Dr. Pepper? Or Pepsi? Or Coke? Which one?! Tell me please. I won't rest until I know!
Haiku # 72236, September 29, 2021 1:02 am ET
by What were we talking about?
Midgets walking on stilts will not freak anyone out.
But if you (a midget) have your legs amputated, now that would be special!
God told me to stop doing this. He told me you're stealing my money. He said I should do something about it.
Haiku # 72235, September 29, 2021 12:57 am ET
by Rolling chicken bones.
I would walk on stilts
if I were a real midget
To freak people out
Haiku # 72234, September 29, 2021 12:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Extra syllable
Represents the free booger
Nose umami ball
Haiku # 72233, September 29, 2021 12:19 am ET
by Eating of Out
How may I help you?
I'll get the Haiku Burger
and a large shake, please

Oh, one more thing, please
Could you put a hair in it?
Um..and a booger, too?
Haiku # 72232, September 29, 2021 12:15 am ET
by Customer of Old McWillow's

Добрый день!

Хочу рассказать вам про уже ставшей популярной и необходимой каждому трейдеру программе JoySignals. Это программа, помогающая торговать на валютном рынке и рынке бинарных опционов. На основе анализа индикаторов предоставляет рекомендации по торговле.

На сайте программы есть видео-примеры торговли на реальных счетах: (раздел «Примеры торговли»)

Что меня удивило в этой программе, так это очень качественные сигналы, которые рассчитываются на основании 18 индикаторов. В программе поддерживаются многие инструменты – валюты, акции, индексы, сырье.

Скачать демо-версию можно здесь https://bit.ly/3msCL3p

С уважением, Grayson




https://sergionytg85805.digitollblog.com/5396435/Примеры-торговли-на-реальных-счетах-Примеры-торговли-на-реальных-счетах-Как-стабильно-снимать-сливки-с-форекса-и-бинарных-опционов/ продажа бинарными опционами
http://trentonnioj79149.blog4youth.com/6757794/Уникальная-программа-для-трейдеров-Трейдинг-понятный-каждому-Как-торговать-валютой-или-опционами-без-нервов/ российская биржа криптовалют
http://daltongoyh61567.post-blogs.com/25926443/ бинарный опцион реально
https://alexisutpk66666.fireblogz.com/33577940/ стратегий на бинарном опционе
https://chanceliey12222.ourcodeblog.com/5399250/Трейдинг-понятный-каждому-Трейдинг-понятный-каждому-Как-стабильно-снимать-сливки-с-форекса-и-бинарных-опционов/ utrader бинарные опционы
Haiku # 72231, September 28, 2021 8:06 pm ET
by Sidorkoyuq of Russia
Scram, Aka Manto!
Can't take a shit in peace here
Stained your kimono!
Haiku # 72230, September 28, 2021 6:03 pm ET
by Not afraid of You
Haiku kissa room
Enough space for one person
before explosion
Haiku # 72229, September 28, 2021 5:48 pm ET
by Elroy Orbitson of Scatosphere
One cup of Pop Rocks,
a beer bong, two liters Coke,
Live streamed on FaceBook.

A world record fart!
I guess it's sort of cheating,
but whatever works!

For anal Pop Rocks
check out my PornHub channel.
Hershey's volcano!
Haiku # 72228, September 28, 2021 4:48 pm ET
by 257K hits from Japan alone! of Know your demographics.
Trans women should be
allowed to use the women's
bathroom, and that's that!

No, they aren't women.
I just don't want them pooping
in stalls next to me!
Haiku # 72227, September 28, 2021 4:40 pm ET
by Proud homophobe! of I'm just joking, IDGAF.
science fair project
observe the effects of Pop Rocks
on blow jobs. ( A+)
Haiku # 72226, September 28, 2021 3:50 pm ET
by Teacher's pet of Rockland, Maine
How long does it take
till the fizz packet kicks in?
Where are my chopsticks?
Haiku # 72225, September 28, 2021 3:42 pm ET
by Haikucinations of dog man
Sat on telescope
But couldn't see Uranus
Mine was in the way
Haiku # 72224, September 28, 2021 3:36 pm ET
by Laughingstock of Science Fair
Gentle warm night breeze
Caresses the bamboo grove:
"Fuck Joe Biden" (chant).
Haiku # 72223, September 28, 2021 3:19 pm ET
by Redneck Crowds of Haiku Football
I have patented
Instant Haiku Fizz packets:
poetic powder.
Haiku # 72222, September 28, 2021 2:33 pm ET
by Take One and get Oriental
I also designed
Transexual mouth tampons
For difficult days.
Haiku # 72221, September 28, 2021 12:37 pm ET
by Mother of Invention
I have invented.
For example, the Square Wheel
(the cyber-version).
Haiku # 72220, September 28, 2021 12:27 pm ET
by Best of All Possible Outcomes
Extra syllable
represents the tear I cried
for your sweaty balls
Haiku # 72219, September 28, 2021 12:26 pm ET
by Tears of Laughter
You should invent something
Circulating pants fan for men
No more sweaty balls
Haiku # 72218, September 28, 2021 12:23 pm ET
by I. M. Glad of Females don't have balls
Results-based outcomes.
Data-driven strategies:
what passes for life.
Haiku # 72217, September 28, 2021 12:14 pm ET
by GOD is not data-driven, you Son of a Sow
Did I mention that
I never wear underwear.
It chafes my scrotum.

We should all go free.
Ban all restrictive chlothing.
And live in the woods.
Haiku # 72216, September 28, 2021 11:53 am ET
by Ticks on TikTok.
Yeah, I guess I could
trade magic beans for a cow.
There are few milk cows.

You can get real ice cream at some places, but it's like $10 a pint... still cheaper than it would be if I made my own, I think. Most of it's imported and this shitty government has a HUGE import tax... which keeps foreign competition away and therefore the companies here can make cheap garbage and have no competitors.

Also it's what the average person can afford, so there is that factor. Anywho... At least having less food keeps me less fat, yeah? Count those blessings.

Hot humid environment not the best for cattle. But it can be done. Keeping the milk fresh is a big issue also. I do love me some dairy. Yup.
Haiku # 72215, September 28, 2021 10:55 am ET
by blah blah blah.
"My Dog’s Paws Smell Like Fritos – Is This Normal? | Hampton Veterinary Hospital" https://www.hamptonveterinaryhospital.com/blog/my-dogs-paws-smell-like-fritos/
Haiku # 72214, September 28, 2021 9:21 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Make your own ice cream
You're kind of a scientist
so you can't go wrong
Haiku # 72213, September 28, 2021 9:18 am ET
by What's your favourite flavour?
Oh, it's the dog's feet!
I thought you said its asshole.
Smelled just like the ex.

But maybe not that bad.
Rotting fish guts smell better.
Nothing stinks like her!
Haiku # 72212, September 28, 2021 9:11 am ET
by My advice: If it stinks, don't stick it in!
I can live without.
But ice cream made with dairy.
That's a rarity.

Synthetic Chinese
shit is all over the place;
overpriced garbage.

Ice cream that never once saw a cow's teat is just fucking wrong and makes me want to go to war with Nestle's and Magnolia. Suicide bomb their headquarters and factories in the name of all that is good and holy. Jihad, Jihad! They seriously need more cows over here to help make more greenhouse gases and ice cream. Know what I mean, jellybean?
Haiku # 72211, September 28, 2021 9:05 am ET
by It's all about the money.
If you miss Fritos
Smell the bottom of dog's feet
Go ahead, try it
Haiku # 72210, September 28, 2021 8:43 am ET
by If it's any consolation of Fritos corn chips aren't as tasty as they used to be
An all male orgy
is nowhere near as gay as
pumpkin spice latte.
Haiku # 72209, September 28, 2021 6:16 am ET
by Truth!
Fritos; I miss them.
There's none in the Philippines.
Oh, what a pity.
Haiku # 72208, September 28, 2021 6:14 am ET
by They'd go well with balot! of Right?!
Way back in the day,
like seven, eight years ago,
had me some visions.

No, I wasn't high.
Nor tripping on LSD.
Totally sober.

I'd go to Walmart
and the shelves would be barren.
Completely empty.

Abandoned and void.
You think things are bad right now?
It's only begun.

My silly third eye,
energized by my third leg,
sees things it shouldn't.

I shouldn't tell you.
I guess it's okay this time.
And you are welcome.
Haiku # 72207, September 28, 2021 6:10 am ET
by Premonitions of a mad poet. of Mad in both ways.
Профессиональный монтаж напольных покрытий.Обращайтесь всегда рады вам помочь.
Мы делаем следующие работы
Монтаж напольного плинтуса из массива
Монтаж напольного плинтуса МДФ
Монтаж напольного плинтуса дюрополимер
Монтаж напольного плинтуса ПВХ
Монтаж напольного плинтуса ЛДФ
Монтаж потолочного плинтуса.
Монтаж напольного плинтуса из металла и т.д кроме камня.
Покраска плинтуса.
Монтаж напольных покрытий
Монтаж паркетной доски на подложку.
Монтаж ламината.
Монтаж винилового ламината
Монтаж инжинерной доски
Монтаж моссивной доски (с готовым покрытием)
Монтаж фанеры.
Монтаж галтелий и наличников.
По другим работам уточняйте!
гарантия на все виды работ.
Напилим.про
Haiku # 72206, September 28, 2021 12:56 am ET
by napilim.pro of Russia
Spooge Blaster 5K
Kind of a mouthful to say
Safety always off
Haiku # 72205, September 27, 2021 10:38 pm ET
by Noticer of concealed carry
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