Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Love me some hot chai.
Chai kind of makes me horny.
Bang me some Injuns.

Wrap it up real good.
Months of antibiotics.
Hope you don't get AIDS.
Haiku # 72882, October 21, 2021 11:48 am ET
by I think it's best to just stay in bum-fuck Indiana or whereever. of Know what I mean, Vern?
But I like the food.
Way better than Philippines.
Fucking Jolibee.
Haiku # 72881, October 21, 2021 11:44 am ET
by I don't get how people can eat food that I would rather throw away than even look at. of It's good not to be poor... but that shit costs a lot! And they love it!
Hindus only have
a plethera of VD.
Been to India?
Haiku # 72880, October 21, 2021 11:42 am ET
by Embrace the nature of our microbial brothers and stuff. of All is one is all.
GLBTQ
gathered for a BBQ.
Jeffrey Dahmer came.
Haiku # 72879, October 21, 2021 11:12 am ET
by I don't care if someone's gay. of But when they slip it in (pun?) their conversation every other minute, I feel violated.
Oh light! Oh sweetness!
Oh blessed sunrise birdsong!
Look out for that corpse....
Haiku # 72878, October 21, 2021 10:53 am ET
by Keep Cadaver and Carry On
Hindus have the truth.
Because of six-armed idols.
Yup. Oh yes. For Sure.
Haiku # 72877, October 21, 2021 9:51 am ET
by Mahendra Chandarapattikundarswamipalajanandaram of Mysore Tong (UE)
I am The Lord God.
I created Lucifer.
(What? . . . I'm just typing)
Haiku # 72876, October 21, 2021 9:46 am ET
by Mom Didn't Knock First
THIS is the Frontier !
Final phase of LIBERTY --
...sorry, ossifer.
Haiku # 72875, October 21, 2021 9:43 am ET
by Pulled Over While Typing Haiku at 83 mph of BadBadBad
Human filth is gold.
Our inner tubes filled with light.
Flatulence: incense.
Haiku # 72874, October 21, 2021 9:36 am ET
by Holiness of Human Race
You SHUT UP, dumbass.
You just shut your dumbass mouth.
And stop typing too.
Haiku # 72873, October 21, 2021 9:33 am ET
by That's My Haiku of I'm Sticking To It
How much do you know
About GLBTQ
on and on and on ?
Haiku # 72872, October 21, 2021 9:31 am ET
by Microsoft of Softcore Stupid
Miss Stephanie B:
One fake-ass poetess
That's really a man.
Haiku # 72871, October 21, 2021 9:27 am ET
by Change the Plumbing of Condemned House
This website reminds
me of that game, Cards Against
Humanity. Right???
Haiku # 72870, October 21, 2021 9:20 am ET
by I am right! of See how vile and silly we can possibly be.
I have a cousin
that called pooping dropping bombs.
There's something to that.

Really evil bombs
have poop mixed in with shrapnel.
Infections throughout!

Not normal warfare;
for people you really hate.
... unless they like poop.
Haiku # 72869, October 21, 2021 9:17 am ET
by I prefer chemical warfare. of Trying to see if there's a way I can make toxic farts and not die myself. I will be a weapon of ass destruction.
No one will find you
Haikunabomber's cabin
(doubles as outhouse)
Haiku # 72868, October 21, 2021 7:37 am ET
by (picture of unidentifiable poet wearing a hoodie) of Unknown
When dildos explode
They don't release any load
Just toxic plastic
Haiku # 72867, October 21, 2021 12:55 am ET
by Greta Thunburg's mother of Sifting through debris
That is uncalled for.
Terrorism is no joke.
Exploding dildos.
Haiku # 72866, October 20, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by Arby's Secret Recipe
should make bongs not bombs
but no smoking for toddlers
give them edibles
Haiku # 72865, October 20, 2021 10:48 pm ET
by 'Cause smoking is bad for their little lungs of Nebraska Silo
Lawrence Livermore?
I need some nuclear waste.
One metric ton's good.

Buy one, get one free?
You've got to be shitting me!
That's an awesome deal.

Sure I'll tell my friends.
I won't say where I got it.
And if you need kush...
Haiku # 72864, October 20, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by You dirty little bomb, you like that don'tcha?!
I'm wanting to die.
Taking others along too.
Taliban recruit.
Haiku # 72863, October 20, 2021 8:22 pm ET
by Nothing better to do.
Details of entrails.
Weather forcast in bird guts.
Cue "Witchy Woman".
Haiku # 72862, October 20, 2021 8:20 pm ET
by Be funny to see that on Wall Street.
I was noticing
If it's all in the details
I noticed it all
Haiku # 72861, October 20, 2021 7:46 pm ET
by Noticer of details
online ed meds http://viagwdp.com/ buying viagra without prescription
Haiku # 72860, October 20, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by Anoutsibe of Afghanistan
How to read poems
First, make sure no one's looking
Next, get out the lube
Haiku # 72859, October 20, 2021 3:44 pm ET
by Stephanie Burt of Harvard
Don't Read Poetry.
A book by Stephanie Burt.
I used it to wipe.
Haiku # 72858, October 20, 2021 3:11 pm ET
by First soak in water for a bit to soften it up. of Hey, it was the author's suggestion!
I was just thinking
I'm there for you every time
you do your business
Haiku # 72857, October 20, 2021 2:32 pm ET
by Conversation with my dog of Now that's defecation!
It's superMA'AM!
Well Shazam, Shazam, Shazam!
Billy Batson's butt!

Inappropriate.
Jim Nabors banging Kal-El.
It might get pinched off.
Haiku # 72856, October 20, 2021 1:14 pm ET
by Be careful, Gomer Pyle! of They'll run you out of Mayberry!
Purple hair and spikes.
Yet another vain attempt.
Proving one's "wokeness".
Haiku # 72855, October 20, 2021 9:48 am ET
by I'm joining the white cracker commies. of At least I can be on the winning side. When the shit goes down.
Batman is laughing.
Kal-El is gobblin' some noots.
Deez noots in cream sauce.
Haiku # 72854, October 20, 2021 7:54 am ET
by Somehow I'm not surprised. of It's Trump's fault.
Superman won't fight
for the American way.
Now that's really gay!
Haiku # 72853, October 20, 2021 7:50 am ET
by Commies taking over!
Red bibb on the back.
Now I become Super Pooh.
But still I'm not gay.

Don't overthink it.
I've not got much brain to think.
I'd love some honey.
Haiku # 72852, October 20, 2021 7:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You wouldn't happen
to have a pot of honey?
It's my kryptonite.
Haiku # 72851, October 20, 2021 7:17 am ET
by Winnie the Pooh bear.
Winnie the Pooh's ass.
Can't help but want to squeeze it.
Superman's now gay.
Haiku # 72850, October 20, 2021 7:14 am ET
by Squeeze it, grease it, and sleez it.
Don't steal, don't gamble...
Talking about the man called
Michael Campbell. (DUB)
Haiku # 72849, October 20, 2021 4:56 am ET
by Beyond WWIII
Rock bands should not preach.
They just need to do their art.
It doesn't age well.
Haiku # 72848, October 20, 2021 4:50 am ET
by Strum Strum of It Ain't Mozart
I love their record
With dub-master Mikey Dread
Called 'Black Market Clash'
Haiku # 72847, October 20, 2021 4:46 am ET
by Bank Robber of Armagideon Time
Used to like the Clash.
But now Joe's voice makes me cringe.
A few songs still good...
Haiku # 72846, October 20, 2021 4:40 am ET
by The preachy Leftism gets dull...
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Haiku # 72845, October 20, 2021 1:06 am ET
by Rybickijqyw of Russia
Which one would you fuck?
2 day old, stale baguette bread
Everything bagel
Haiku # 72844, October 19, 2021 11:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never robbed a bank
bank error in my favor
100 dollars

Noticed it later
She gave my dog a biscuit
in the drive thru tube
Haiku # 72843, October 19, 2021 11:33 pm ET
by Noticer of $$$ (eventually)
It wasn't an axe
It was with a Gurkah knife
That ain't much better
Haiku # 72842, October 19, 2021 11:26 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Never murdered anyone
but I worked for someone who
was axe murdered. Truth.
Haiku # 72841, October 19, 2021 11:23 pm ET
by Starkitten
Clash. Sandinista
One of my favorite albums
I bet you like it
Haiku # 72840, October 19, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by Sk
12 hours ahead.
But 200 years behind.
You have to see it.
Haiku # 72839, October 19, 2021 10:44 pm ET
by Soon I will get out.
What time is it there?
It's like talking with someone
who's from the future
Haiku # 72838, October 19, 2021 8:42 pm ET
by Starkitten of Tuesday
When you're all alone
solving those math equations.
Mathturbation?
Haiku # 72837, October 19, 2021 8:39 pm ET
by Noticer of How's your eyesight?
Fusion energy.
With enough beans it might work.
Intense compression.
Haiku # 72836, October 19, 2021 8:36 pm ET
by 2 H-1 ==> He of Flatus does have a bit of H2 gas in it.
I'm no scientist
but if I reverse the charge
your plan might backfire
Haiku # 72835, October 19, 2021 8:28 pm ET
by Phone of in the bathroom
If you want fart calls,
I will accommodate you.
It doesn't cost much.
Haiku # 72834, October 19, 2021 8:09 pm ET
by $2.99 per minute. of 1-800-HOT-TOOT
Yes, I despise Alf
If I give you my number
will your fart call me?
Haiku # 72833, October 19, 2021 7:47 pm ET
by Sk
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