How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...
Depends how many strap-ons they have and how big the light bulb is.

Visit Darth Vegas
Just the right amount of wrong
Plan your visit now

Schedule a demo
This month coffee is on us
No purchase required

I am not righteous.
Only my farts are righteous.
I am wrongteous.

Hey there big-boy(wink) . . .
Tokyo Rose here. Watcha doin' ?
Writin' some haiku?

We tek-u sri scoops:
Za tripur aisu-krimu
Wizz jimi on top.

I am as righteous
as Job, yes, but I am not
as righteous as Darth.

When Jesus returns
He will arrive right here first:
Bad Haiku website.

Just to clarify,
her folks had seen many pics
better than that one.

I hate Eskimos.
No, really, I fucking do.
Goddamn whale eaters.

Racism is fun.
More when it's the human race.
We all need to die.

She scrolls through my phone,
leans over and asks, "What's this?"
"Oh, that's my penis."

I am not Jesus.
I don't forgive anyone.
They should all suffer.

Kwannon of mercy
Avalokitesvara
Do not forgive them.

That Stephanie Burt.
She's as cute as a button.
Or maybe a butt.

The new-wave haiku:
It's about social justice
And anti-racism.

Plastic replicas.
Weird little cats with raised paw.
Strange vending-machines.

Hai! Ah so, gaijin
We selve you aisu-krimu
In raj shuga-cone.

I am avatar.
The avatar of haiku.
Soon you feel my wrath.

That is NOT funny.
The only comical thing
Is Feminism.

Then, crashing down on
Yankee aircraft carrier
From so high, high, high!

Hey there, haiku kids!
Let's all commit Seppuku
After bombing run.

Now, back to hatred
Grievous error, psychosis,
and more: Haiku time!

I'm not big on sweets
But I do have a problem with
Vanilla Halva.

That's what Elvis ate
After he got all dosed up
With his narcotics.

The sandwich for me:
Peanut-butter/banana
On toasted whole-wheat.

That sounds delicious
Canadians fuck it up
with too much sugar

Homeless drug addict.
Humping his cardboard sleep mat.
Drooling, looks at you.

Damn good PBJ.
Wheat bread, blackberry jelly,
natural Smucker's.

Fukushima men
Glow in the dark penises
make handy night lights

I'm in the mood for
nachos, simply cuz I watched
Beavis and Butthead.

Bon, ben... tu es con.
Vraiment un connard trop bete.
De fromage tu parles.

What y'all gone git there
Is flaming sulfur an FIRE.
Not faggot-ass cheese.

Y'all down there in hell
And y'all want cheese an French toast.
Aint none in HELL bro.

It's like pyjamas
But I added the tail part
What suit would you wear?

Pink Panther costume
Not going trick-or-treating
But might still dress up

How about French toast?
The secret is make it slow
with stale brioche, right?

Now I am craving
brie on brioche with creme fraiche
and heirloom cocaine.

You're the same person.
Ten kilos of castor beans.
How much will it cost?

And to think I thought
that you were not "Starkitten"...
You big poser, you.

You're such a big poof.
Brioche? Are you serious?
Polly-voo Fransay?

Schwinn's not a bad brand.
Old fashioned one-speed cruiser?
Bet pink or purple.

I've got a bike,
you can ride it if you like.
It's got a basket, a bell that rings
and things to make it look good.
I'd give it to you if I could,
but I borrowed it.

You say that you walk,
I bet dance on table tops.
[Inserts dollar bill.]

Like a brioche, huh?
[Insert yeast infection joke.]
Maybe with humus.

Oui, I ride a bike
with flowers and fresh baguette
filling the basket

It looks like brioche
I walk on the tabletop
like the cats in France

Now I have to ask.
Does your ass look like pizza?
Is it extra large?

By peddling ass,
I assume you ride a bike.
If not, then you should.

What will you go as
for Halloween this fine year?
Covid molecule?

Whore secretary
nanny chef maid chauffeur and
security guard.

What are you talking about???
Sexy??? You need a shrink or an eye doctor.
And I need some sleep!
Fuck counting.