Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 214 Days and 77128 Haiku later...

Though stretched, Clark screeched through
scraunched, scratched, though straight schlongs.
Haiku # 73676, November 17, 2021 9:04 am ET
by That gaping hole reminds me of someone I know.
Suddenly I feel...
Holy. Maybe I'm Jesus.
Haiku # 73675, November 17, 2021 8:47 am ET
by Or something. of Oy vay! Why aren't my lox and bagels ready yet?! It's been two whole minutes!
Here's some news bitches
Jesus was an immigrant
And he wasn't white
Haiku # 73674, November 16, 2021 11:28 pm ET
by But he did love him some whores
silence is not bliss
but i like to hear myself
type extrovert only
Haiku # 73673, November 16, 2021 11:11 pm ET
by vhs
it's a dead parrot
it's not pining for the fjords
norwegian blow out
Haiku # 73672, November 16, 2021 7:11 pm ET
by vhs
What is the sound of
one troll writing a haiku?
ParrrooooooTT Toot toot toot.
Haiku # 73671, November 16, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by Mexican food.
Never got days off,
but I've gotten off all day.
More work than working.
Haiku # 73670, November 16, 2021 5:34 pm ET
by Asymmetric muscle tone.
If plugging butt plugs
into a two-twenty outlet,
get a new outlet.
Haiku # 73669, November 16, 2021 5:28 pm ET
by Jack-hammer surprise.
if i have to make
some noise, is it like the tree
that falls over lone?
Haiku # 73668, November 16, 2021 4:49 pm ET
by vhs
you ever get a day
off but it turns out to be
an off day hombre?
Haiku # 73667, November 16, 2021 4:43 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of vhs
so what happens if
you want to plug a buttplug
on your Patreon?
Haiku # 73666, November 16, 2021 4:38 pm ET
by vhs of yes i lowered myself for that joke
well and here i am
and claiming "disease" casting
the first stone but you

got 3 Stoners and their cat instead
Haiku # 73665, November 16, 2021 4:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet of
God sent HIV
to get rid of gay people.
See how well that worked.
Haiku # 73664, November 16, 2021 4:28 pm ET
by Ain't no gettin' rid of crazies or dummies. of We will always be here.
It's not just covid;
all about staying at home.
And ordering shit.

Not reproducing.
Pretend or "identify"
as opposite sex.

That's acceptable.
Big Brother wishes it so.
All hail Metaverse!
Haiku # 73663, November 16, 2021 3:54 pm ET
by ... I could write about poo if you'd rather.
Covid neurotics,
Trying to control all outcomes;
Mortally fearful.
Haiku # 73662, November 16, 2021 1:59 pm ET
by Life Involves Unpredictable Risks of Stop Being Neurotic
God gave us Covid
To get rid of dumb people
His plan is working
Haiku # 73660, November 16, 2021 1:37 pm ET
by Jesus is lard
Covid neurotics:
Masked inside their cars alone,
Pathetically scared.
Haiku # 73659, November 16, 2021 1:33 pm ET
by God Gave You an Immune System Idiot of 99.5 % Recovery Rate
Talk about rambling!
That's the most unusual
advertisement yet.
Haiku # 73658, November 16, 2021 10:07 am ET
by Gay A/C repairmen seek near death experience on acid. of They didn't mention the garlic sardine tequila ice cream.
Booger, booger, fart poop pee.
I pen this poem, just for thee.
And thy glorious buttocks, one and two.
They're so fine; don't mind the poo.
Cellulite, celluheavy,
Sell you cellphones by the levy.
Smell the odor, the sewage creek.
Forgot your paddle, outlook bleak.
Can't think of much else to say.
Out of the closet, now I'm gay!
Haiku # 73656, November 16, 2021 9:14 am ET
by Not really. But it rhymes.
I am no robot.
Any idiot can count.
Sesame Street fan.
Haiku # 73655, November 16, 2021 9:06 am ET
by Since 2 years old.
These "enlightened" fools.
Running in fear from covid.
Docs get all their cash.
Haiku # 73654, November 16, 2021 9:03 am ET
by Makes me want to die... of course, it's a covid related death.
Here's five silly bulls.
And, look, here are seven more!
Where did they come from?
Haiku # 73653, November 16, 2021 8:58 am ET
by Japanese Rodeo. of Yee Haw!!!
Please define evil.
Based on your small point of view.
Hatred? Genocide?

McDonald's Big Macs?
Metaverse ruling our lives?
Bowing down to fear?

Serial killers?
Child murdering mothers?
Pee Wee's Adventure?
Haiku # 73652, November 16, 2021 8:55 am ET
by Define evil!
"I'm a ramblin' man."
I forget the song; it's dumb.
blahblahblahblahblahblahblah... HA!
Haiku # 73651, November 16, 2021 8:51 am ET
by 5 7 2093 of Oh tragedy!
Darth thinks he's "evil"
But it's just bathroom humor!
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Haiku # 73650, November 16, 2021 6:46 am ET
by PeePeePooPoo of Naughty Bits
Just stop it right now:
the rambling disjointed verse...
It's HAIKU or DIE.
Haiku # 73649, November 16, 2021 6:39 am ET
by You Know Who You Are of We Know Where You Live
"He loved Big Brother."
The most vulgar words written
throughout history.
Haiku # 73648, November 15, 2021 11:30 pm ET
by And yet here we are.
Burnin's too good for him!
Hangin's too good for him!
He should be torn into little bitsy pieces and buried ALIVE!!
Haiku # 73647, November 15, 2021 11:26 pm ET
by Makes sense... An overflowing cup filled with the very cream of human kindness.
WHAT ANGLE???!!...
... Him.
Haiku # 73646, November 15, 2021 11:23 pm ET
by Classic.
You misspelled angel.
Yes, I know I am sexy.
Control your urges.
Haiku # 73645, November 15, 2021 11:22 pm ET
by Or we'll have to put salt peter in your scrambled eggs.
Oh...I angle...
Haiku # 73644, November 15, 2021 10:09 pm ET
by Vhs
Look deep into me.
See the sum of all evil.
Through all space and time.
Haiku # 73643, November 15, 2021 9:25 pm ET
by Sterrrrrnn!!! of Calling Hanover Fist.
Here's an idea.
Leather coats with coffee smell.
Pre-aromaed coats.
Haiku # 73642, November 15, 2021 4:19 pm ET
by Inventing words. Yes. And?
Just imagine this:
These coins look about the same.
One and five piso.

I mean, what the EFF!
Complete lack of common sense.
Someone needs slapping.
Haiku # 73641, November 15, 2021 4:16 pm ET
by And for once, it's not me! of Well, I do need slapping, but not for that.
What will happen now?
Extradited for war crimes,
human trafficking,

heroin dealing,
child porno ring, and three
parking citations.

And not to mention
what I did to those monkeys.
... But they enjoyed it.

In all fairness.
Haiku # 73640, November 15, 2021 3:54 pm ET
by I would expect nothing less from the likes of you.
I miss iamback.
Do you think he passed away?
He hated Star Wars.

Those gay wedding rants.
Star Wars themed gay marriages.
Which is redundant.
Haiku # 73639, November 15, 2021 3:44 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous the Stupendously Fabulous of Like a funeral glitter bomb.
Can we just agree
to hate everyone the same?
(But Eskimos more.)
Haiku # 73637, November 15, 2021 3:40 pm ET
by Is that okay?
well here we are and
i came back, i dont know, just
lets see what happens
Haiku # 73636, November 15, 2021 1:53 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
alas poor yorik
immortalized for his death
an object lesson
Haiku # 73635, November 15, 2021 1:42 pm ET
by scotch of the lesson being that life is short and pointless
do we hate darth now?
we used to just hate moxie
i was gone awhile
Haiku # 73634, November 15, 2021 1:38 pm ET
by scotch of meet the new troll, same as the old troll
There once was a man.
Here I sit, broken hearted.
Alas, poor Yorik.
Haiku # 73633, November 15, 2021 12:56 pm ET
by Poor Yorik had a stupid name. of He should hate his parents.
well i like to go
to work and do work stuff when
I'm at go
Haiku # 73632, November 15, 2021 12:46 pm ET
by vhs of we...are smart Pakled.
I wish I knew you
You're the cure for depression
I had to notice
Haiku # 73631, November 15, 2021 12:04 pm ET
by My pronouns are Starkitten of just being real
"The fridge sits empty
Because I am too lazy
To buy some groceries"

And *POOF* there's Door Dash.
This is all Janis' fault.
This whole "pandemic".

Laziness, greed, and gluttony created Amazon, FarceBook, and TikCok. And those created the "pandemic" to increase revenue. (It first appeared in China, don't forget). And now we just order our pot and pizza and groceries and... everything online and stay home wanking to crappy porn and it's only going to get worse. You'll see.

And it's all that first haiku by Janis that started it all. It's your fault Janis! You're friends of Bezos, I bet!

Haiku # 73630, November 15, 2021 11:26 am ET
by Conspiring Constipation Constellation
dr seuss...seuss and de
sist, not sure what a seuss im
pression would be like

like a bike
a trike?

on strike?

tv once called Spike.

dams being called dikes.
Haiku # 73629, November 15, 2021 11:20 am ET
by vhs
We'll soon bow down to
The Cannibal Overlords!
Worse than aliens!
Haiku # 73628, November 15, 2021 11:08 am ET
by Alferd Packer of Shpadoinkle!
The culling will start.
Only the fat ones may breed.
They are so juicy!
Haiku # 73627, November 15, 2021 11:06 am ET
by Artificial selection.
Will we be cattle?
"They" will harvest our fat selves.
Drugged, we will not know.
Haiku # 73626, November 15, 2021 11:04 am ET
by moooooooo
The future I see.
Plugged in, we never leave home.
Just like The Matrix.
Haiku # 73625, November 15, 2021 11:01 am ET
by But voluntary. of Amazon and Facebook.
Amazon order.
You ever try Vulveeta?
Fake vagina cheese.
Haiku # 73624, November 15, 2021 10:55 am ET
by You can order anything these days! of We need a new crypto called "ShitCoin".
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